Dinner guest who won’t eat homemade food

[AnneLovesGilbert]

We’ve got a friend and his partner coming for dinner soon, this is the first time we’ll meet her. She doesn’t eat homemade food at other people’s houses so he suggested a takeaway or ready meals. We can’t go out as we’re rural as there isn’t anywhere close enough and we have a baby.

We love having people over and both really enjoy cooking so I don’t how to approach it. Money is a bit tight and we can only get takeaway from one place. If we got ready meals should I check what they like first? Would providing nibbles before the meal be okay if I open the packets in front of them?

Any advice?

Find out what sort of food she likes, then buy the cheapest, nastiest supermarket ready meal you can find. Microwave it until it’s as hot as molten lava, then present it to her in the plastic tray and give her a plastic fork.

Then enjoy your delicious home-cooked meal.

Would she eat it if it was cooked while she's there? Or if she helped?

Yes, ask them to bring whatever she'd like for herself and crack on with real food for the rest of you.

Don't pander to the daftness.

Why not just push the start time back a little and tell them both to eat before they come? They're coming for your company I assume so just make that the focus.

I don't understand why you can't be honest with them and tell them that money is too tight to extend to a takeaway and ask her to bring a ready meal.

Sounds like she has some issues. I don't think she is being rude for the sake of it.

Do you know the reason why she won't eat home cooked food?

I'd suggest she brings something too. People are being quite rude here but it could be an allergy or intolerance and unless I'm close to someone I don't always disclose mine because if I do I get a million questions about them.

Tell them to pick up a McDonald's en route...

Very odd! Assuming there is no allergy/medical condition???{confused]

I too would buy a frozen meal, microwave till hot and serve it in the its plastic container. When serving I'd smile and say 'sorry, we only eat healthy, home-cooked meals, so I don't know how to serve something processed like this!' (while still smiling through your teeth)

She could bring her own, eat what I provided or not eat. And I would just. Her as bring really rude if she chose to do anything that wasn’t eat what I made.

unless I'm close to someone I don't always disclose mine because if I do I get a million questions about them.

I'm lactose intolerant. What is the issue with disclosing this to someone whose house you're going for a meal? I always offer to bring my own food with no trouble.

I would also get her a shit ready meal.

I had a friend like this, it was an anxiety thing based on some childhood traumas, I’m not sure what. He had a really limited range of foods he ate, and didn’t like to try new things, so eating at other peoples’ houses was hard as he wouldn’t know what exactly was in each dish and it made him anxious. It was never an issue, because he was always upfront about it and brought a ready meal or just had toast or something, or ate before he came. (Lots of counselling later and it’s improving).
It could be something like this - I’d explain the takeaway/money difficulty, and ask if she’d be happy to bring something she knows she’ll like? Try not to take it personally!

Maybe be honest ish and say that it's such an unusual situation, you're not comfortable with buying her food at all as you'd hate to get it wrong and make her ill/uncomfortable. But you're having [whatever food], so why doesn't she bring along something that she'd be happy with. The oven will be at 180 degrees, or she can microwave.

And ask if she'll want a plate warming, or will she be bringing her own, plus cutlery.

I have a friend who won't eat home made food unless he's made it himself as he got imprisoned in a foreign country because of false allegations and he then became paranoid that they were trying to poison him. He still struggles now.

My brother is also rather funny about food because hes ASD and very picky. So its not uncommon in my life.

If ready meals, I'd do what a PP suggested and check to see what they like first.

Make your home made food but put it into metal containers and pretend it's come from the local takeaway

The opposite of what a lot of us do when entertaining

I agree it's inconvenient but yes, I'm going to whip out the ASN / mental health card.
DS1 has anxiety with OCD traits and I can see something like that affecting him. It's not one of his things at the moment, thank goodness.
People with autism can also be very rigid about food.
Or, she could just be fussy. One of DH's colleagues eats no vegetables. I've no idea how he doesn't have scurvy.
I'd ask what ready meal she likes and get one, and enjoy cooking some lovely food for the rest of you!

So, she’ll eat takeaway, but doesn’t consider your (or other people’s) kitchen clean enough
I’d tell your friend to come in his own for a home cooked meal or to buy take away for you all if he wants to pander to this weirdness

They both lack any social awareness though. They should tell people she has too many food issues & ask if it would be ok if she brought something for herself to save all the hassle.

I agree with everyone else. She brings her own food, you cook for everyone else. And try not to get drunk and arsey about why your food isn't good enough for her.

What a fucking liberty. Give her a rustlers burger.

If your food isn't good enough for her, then neither is your home. I'd actually just downgrade to drinks and snacks as another poster suggested and say that if she's worried about your glassware she can bring her own if she likes.

How about M & S? lasagne and garlic bread and green salad? £15 for 4. Not exactly dinner party fodder but you might end up spending £35 on a takeaway to find she doesn't eat it! BTW that is the weirdest party stipulation ever.

Tell him you cant afford takeaway and she'll need to bring her own food.

If she were coming here, she would be going hungry.

Who does she thing prepares take aways?

Fairies?