Dinner guest who won’t eat homemade food

[AnneLovesGilbert]

We’ve got a friend and his partner coming for dinner soon, this is the first time we’ll meet her. She doesn’t eat homemade food at other people’s houses so he suggested a takeaway or ready meals. We can’t go out as we’re rural as there isn’t anywhere close enough and we have a baby.

We love having people over and both really enjoy cooking so I don’t how to approach it. Money is a bit tight and we can only get takeaway from one place. If we got ready meals should I check what they like first? Would providing nibbles before the meal be okay if I open the packets in front of them?

Any advice?

@FinallyHere 'For the record, as soon as I am moved to comment, I write it but hold off posting til I have RTFT. As I read more, I often amend it. If everyone has already covered what I might want to say I might delete my version or at least acknowledge that it's repetitive'

This is what I do, too, Finally. I think it's bad manners to not at least skim the thread before posting your insightful and unconsidered opinion.

That is mad! I'd do some type of DIY meal. Put burgers, rolls, salad on the table and get everyone to make their own. Same with pavlova for pub. Then if that's a problem she can pick up a macdonalds on the way.

It's not going ahead...

But I think it's completely pointless speculating on the woman's eating

But if 500 messages are already too much to expect anybody to have the time or inclination to read, what is to be achieved by adding the 501st? Why post if you aren't expecting anybody to read what you've posted?

Haha! This! If the thread is too long to read and you can’t be arsed to read an update then why add yet ANOTHER pointless and moronic piece of advice that is completely irrelevant since the situation has changed. What kind of arrogance does it take to think the previous 500 posts are irrelevant yet your three sentences of advice is the ANSWER and the final say on the matter? I mean- wow, those people must think an awful lot of themselves 😆

i'm on the app. how can i see OP only?

Had the exact same situation with new sister-in-law a few years ago. Would only eat take-out or 'shop-bought' meals for food hygiene reasons. Deeply hurt my Mum. Sister made big effort to do the take-out thing. When it was my turn, I simply said we don't eat take-out for health reasons because many of these places are filthy and don't use fresh ingredients, unhealthy levels of fat, salt etc. but she is welcome to bring her own, which she did. Reheated it in the microwave. Smelled suspiciously of burning plastic. The rest of us happily tucked into a big Sunday roast with all the trimmings. She ate from her cardboard box. Brother later whispered that I might have offered her a plate! (Oops, silly me!) . I think it was more attention-seeking than anything. We just got on with our Sunday dinner and nobody commented on her choice, which I think annoyed her more than anything.

@MerryDeath the only way to do this is if you have the OP posts a different colour in settings (on the website, it's not possible within the app) then you can scroll down and they will have their name in green.

Or, if you're on the iOS app, it's possible to beta test using the Test Flight app. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post the link to it, though. Perhaps @MNHQ can let us know? There's a feature where you can filter all the user names on the thread.

How about having a different colour for all the nincompoops still posting the same old points ?!

It is quite illuminating that some people clearly never read anything except the thread title before posting.

Of course it's pointless if one points this out, because such posters would never read it!

Having tracked back through the thread to OP's update on page 16 the orginal request does make more sense (even though it is now a moot point anyway because they aren't coming any more)

I did turn up to a barbeque with a take away mushroom chow mein while in the perma-nausea phase of pregnancy, because I had a very sensitive gag reaction and strong meat aversion. A lot of the time I had no appetite and was too nauseas to face eating and lost weight rapidly despite gaining bump. What I could face eating was quite random and impulsive.
Collegues guessed I was pregnant from my odd lunch of pot noodle and pots of jelly & custard every day. I did joke that I could eat it purely because it was nothing like food

People are a lot more forgiving when they understand reasons for unusual requests/ behaviour.

OP, well done for standing your ground and not being messed around (even if there is now a sensible reason behind it).

“I haven’t a clue what to provide. Perhaps it’s best if you could bring something? Thank you so much!”

I’m assuming she’s not rude and actually has some kind of anxiety around food?

She may well but the anxiety must be about taste not cleanliness. Mass produced processed food or takeaway food tastes ...processed. She may well be so used to it that her tastebuds can't cope with the lack of additives, salt, fat in home cooking.

There is no way it can be cleanliness! Has she seen 'inside the factory' ? All those dirty machines and ungloved hands touching the food?!

I wouldn't worry. Do a buffet.
A pack of sausage rolls will sort her out amongst delicious home cooked treats you make.

Obviously haven't RTT.
They're not coming! Problem solved!

Can MN please ban posters who don't read the thread?! They spoil a discussion by choking it up with "cancel the cheque" or in this case, "Do a buffet" or "Does she have food issues?" Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Honeyroar

This the same in my own household and when I hold parties, which I have given up on now cannot be bothered with pleasing everyone all of the time...😄😄 Xx

This reminds me of that post last year when a couple had friends from India to stay and the wife stayed in her room the whole time and the OP had to take food to her door like room service.

Anyone else remember that? It was a fascinating saga and I'd love to know what happened.

Yes, @Growingboys! Was there ever an update on that thread?

I remember the houseguest who wouldn't leave her room thread! They visited again, two weeks later I think, on their way home. Same thing happened again, but it was a shorter stay. Woman went upstairs and never re-appeared until going home time. Very odd.

Odder still to allow her to stay again two weeks later! Some people never bloody learn.

It was all very odd. I hoped there might have been an explanation after the second stay but maybe there wasn't.

Sounds to me they knew they were pregnant, and the girlfriend said no way am i going to someone else's house who ive never met with this nausea. Please cancel). Man feels embarrassed having been the one who got back in touch with your DH so stupidly, and unknown to his girlfriend, said takeaway or ready meal only to make sure you didn't go to too much trouble/expense when they cancelled on the night. They were never planning to come.

I would pretend that i forgot her special request, and have a frozen margarita pizza from the value range... Or i would simply ask her to bring her own.