I did something terrible

[hugecliche]

I know I'm terrible. And I know some posters will still pile on just to make sure I feel really, really bad - rest assured I do. But I'm asking for advice and help.

I went on a work night out on Friday and ended up back at my flat with my married boss. We were both phenomenally drunk. We didn't go through with it, but there was plenty of inappropriate chat and touching for a couple of hours before he left and went home.

I can't stop thinking about what happened and how foolish I was on one hand, but also frustrated that I can't really remember it all (often forget wording etc when drunk) which is means it's hard to make sense of it all.

I don't know what to do. I don't know how to face him in the office. I don't know how to act at all.

Well I wish I'd read your messages before I replied. It honestly didn't occur to me to say no. I mean he's my CEO and we've worked really closely for years, would seem so weird to say no, but I know that's because I'm not looking at it objectively.

We are going for coffee tomorrow. Will be awkward but better to clear the air I suppose as we have to travel together a bit next month.

@hugecliche its him is I'll n the wrong so stop feeling bad. Your single hes not.
But even kissing is him been unfaithful.
I wasted 4 years doing something stupid in my 20s regret if big time because after 4 years he left his wife for someone else and tossed me aside. Thank God he did.
He has remarried but haven't heard from him in about 12 years so maybe that one ended too. Men are shits

He's probably as worried about it as you esp as he's married. At least he eventually did the decent thing and left before it went further. It was a drunken fumble. Good luck for tomorrow though OP.

It'll all blow over OP. Just give him a wide berth from now on

Good luck, OP!

Or you could text him now and say. "Actually it's all a bit embarrassing. Shall we forget meeting up and it shall remain the incident that is never spoken about again?"

I think coffee might be a bad idea, a relatively cosy way of dragging the drama out. All your past relationship with him is somewhat irrelevant now given the change in dynamics.

What he did to help your career, is that something he would normally do for you and other work colleagues?

I’d tell his wife.

shame you already replied i would have said why what happened the other night

feigned ignorance-ho0pe it goes ok though

Learn from the experience, that’s what I would suggest. First rule to avoid for is:

“You shouldn’t shit on your nest”

Second one:

“It doesn’t matter how seldomly you drunk, if you can’t keep yourself from doing something stupid when drunk... don’t drunk yourself stupid”

Simples

OP did you know he was married? Just because you are single it doesn’t mean it’s okay for you to be the OW.

Yes he has done worse, but why are you not ruling anything out now? Do as you like with the single guys out there that don’t happen to be your boss.

Massive can of worms here.

Did you know he was married?

TBH I'd just pretend I'd got very little recollection of what went on, and steer clear of any future drunken encounters with him. Definitely plan to spend your evenings in your room watching telly if you have to go away with him.

He’s fishing for an affair. Don’t fall for it, OP.

Just carry on as if nothing had happened, he probably feels the same. As somebody else said on page one, you're not the first and won't be the last. You didn't do that much. Put it behind you and don't get so blind blotto again!

All the best

good news is that he has already done something today via email that will further my career

?

@hugecliche your not the first and won’t be the last.
You sound pretty smart so imagine you won’t really drink around him heavily again.

You wouldn’t have been the one to put words In his mouth or actions, he may fancy you but realised he loves his wife and stopped it before it went any further.

Hopefully the chat will clear the air, but keep
It as professional as possible

You will eventually forgive yourself for what happened, to be honest if I was the wife unless I knew you and we were friends I would have no issue with you

Put it down to experience and get on with your life. Don’t worry about it too much. I would just carry on as normal at work.

If he offers to buy you an apartment I suggest you refuse and start looking for a different job.

...there was plenty of inappropriate chat and touching for a couple of hours before he left and went home.

OP, this man cheated with you, has done something to further your career, and now you are going to have a coffee date with him (when a simple text would have sufficed). It sounds like lines are still being crossed.

You know what, I think I might be the first.

Hahaha. Jesus Christ

So many threads lately from the OW. It's quite chilling to read how little they give a fuck about the wife and potential children in the situation. How are cheaters looked at as good potential partners? I don't get it.

Wait, so he's promoted you....presumably as s bribe to stop you talking about what happwned/sueing him?

What? So you had a bit of foreplay and today he’s furthered your career? Jesus.