DD 14 drink spiked

[Holdingtherope]

I am at work tonight. Unbeknown to me, daughter and friends snuck out to a party. Looks like my daughter was either spiked or drunk too much.

She is fine, going in the ambulance to hospital. What will they do? I feel so helpless. Husband in bed and can’t wake him.

Suitable punishment? Only child who has hot teenager age yet and it’s so unknown. I just don’t know what to do

Hope DD is tucked up in bed @Holdingtherope. for you.

It was just for some respite, support for DH before I have to give up work and bankrupt

Thanks guys

beans

To be fair to posters slagging the husband off the OP did a huge drip feed re her H.

I don't think it makes a blind bit of difference. Whether he is on medication or not it was absolutely normal for him to go to sleep at night.

Under normal circumstances I’m sure if a young teenager is out partying most parents on MN would stay awake to ensure their young teenager gets home safely.

But the whole point of the post is that the husband DID NOT KNOW the teen was out partying. The teen snuck out.

CanIHaveADrink

You can get alarms that vibrate, you put the vibration part under the pillow, there are also alarmed that light up.

However, depending on how deaf someone is, being a awake doesn't mean you can then hear someone on the other end of the phone, particularly if it is an unfamiliar voice.

Deaf people have been bringing up children for millennia and the history of how they have dealt with things is fascinating and inventive.

In WWII the air raid wardens were sometimes given the keys to deaf people's houses because they would not hear the siren, the warden would let themselves in and wake people up.

OP hopefully Dd will have learnt her lesson. I'm sorry to hear about your DH. As others have said this is bread and butter for paramedics or A&E on NYE. Noone will give it a second thought.

Lots of love OP, glad she's okay.

There's a great section on here under teenagers if you need further support.

She is probably punished enough op... I did the same at 14 (maybe younger) but luckily didn’t end up in hospital. I was mortified and all I wanted was my mum x

I'm glad your dd is ok.
If nothing else comes from tonight, I'd want to be raising the issue at work that there needs to be an emergency on call cover in case you have a family emergency. With your dh terminally ill and your dd at the stage of sneaking out and drinking, i think you need to be prepared for other emergencies.
I hope you get the help you're asking for.

Holdingtherope I’m so glad your daughter is ok, I hope she was suitably embarrassed, I suspect she’s going through hell (as are you) with your husband’s Illness and this was just a daft way of a release?
Can you go to your GP and ask for some help with respite? You would think there is something they can recommend, maybe a charity that helps too??
So sorry for all you must be going through.

Glad your DD is ok, safe and at home.

A good chat is needed later about what happened and why it happened. It was reckless and irresponsible,but she is 14. Check on her mental and emotional wellbeing . Put some consequences in place, but don't come down like a tonne of bricks.

Ah OP hope you've managed to get some sleep!

I too ranted about your DH, I obviously wouldn't have done had I known about the situation.

Sending you . This must be a stressful and difficult time for you all.

I hope all ok with your DD and your DH. What a rubbish time.

For all those who come wading in on these threads with 'your child needs a parent' or 'I would be fuming with DH' - there's always so much more to the story, maybe take a breath before posting - OP needed help and advice.

The forum annoys me, it's very helpful at times, but these are real life situations that need kindness and practicality.

Do people really think that a child can't be treated in hospital without a parent or guardian present? FML.

OP don't worry about all the negative comments. Social services will not be interested in this at all , you got there, you wanted to be there, your husband is ill. Even if they made a referral this would never progress in fact DDs friend did exact same situation , they just got a call to check all ok the end.

If it was my daughter I would be trying to get someone to be there to advocate for her.

I was spiked on NYE (only had 2 drinks) a few years back.

I was treated appallingly by the paramedics who assumed I was just drunk and kept laughing at me.

In the end my BF took me home as A and E were doing absolutely nothing apart from letting me sleep it off in a corridor.

In the morning I went to the OOO GP who promptly sent me to get bloods done. The drug I was spiked with pulled me out of remission for a serious medical condition.

Man, there's some sanctimonious twats on this thread - this is Chat not AIBU...

Glad she's ok OP. Probably took her in for observation. As for punishment? The natural consequences and increased supervision are probably enough. Poor kid having a terminally ill Dad deserves some slack. If I were you I'd focus on just making sure she's ok emotionally. Good luck. Sorry for your circumstances.

@NoncePieforSanta You're bang on the money.

Thanks guys

OP I hope everything is ok this morning. I'm a parent of teens and totally sympathise with you.

The thing with teens is that just when you think have got the measure of them they go and do something completely unpredictable and dumb.

You have done the best that most people could have done in your circumstances.

Our DCs are learner teens and most of us are learner parents. The best outcome from this is to learn the lesson and move on.

Op said one of the other friends parents was going in in a taxi

Hospital have been in contact with mum

Dad has a terminal illness and is asleep

Wtf would the hospital call ss

Get off MN, and get some sleep or do something relaxing, OP!

You had a shite NYE, but it's over now. You did the best you could. People were happy to find fault with you as a parent, but imagine if you'd been the sole nurse on duty for an MNer's elderly relative and had just walked out of your shift to collect your dd from A&E as early as possible?

They'd magically grasp the issues then!

It would be great if last night prioritised you for the support you've previously sought, but realistically, I think you'll have to push for it. An on-duty nurse who couldn't immediately pick up her teen from A&E is not going to win Worst Family of the Day in any social services department, never mind week.

Glad all is well! And sorry to hear about your husband.

There might be lesson here for all of us - some posters seem to start from a presumption that all men are shiftless lazy rude immature "cock lodgers" and are desperate for evidence of this and get very aggressive about it. Better not to come to the table with those ideas. It doesn't show Mumsnet in a good light really.

Holding if your Dd is struggling with Dh's illness and the impact on your family then do contact the school in the new term. They may be able to do an 'Early help' referral. Ds has just had one as he has mental health issues and a recent ASD diagnosis and we are struggling to get him support. I noticed on the form it asks about parents health and or disabilities and the impact it may be having on a child.

It's worth a try to maybe start to access some kind of support.

I hope you manage to get the help you need soon. 💐

Glad you have been able to get to your DD. When my DD got very drunk at a party and was sick and had to be looked after the only punishment I imposed was insisting that she bought a bunch of flowers for the mum who had looked after her.