DD 14 drink spiked

[Holdingtherope]

I am at work tonight. Unbeknown to me, daughter and friends snuck out to a party. Looks like my daughter was either spiked or drunk too much.

She is fine, going in the ambulance to hospital. What will they do? I feel so helpless. Husband in bed and can’t wake him.

Suitable punishment? Only child who has hot teenager age yet and it’s so unknown. I just don’t know what to do

Esme and saving - where do you guys work then? Hospital is not saying that? I have rang them again. They have said that she can’t be discharged until someone with PR collect her but no mention of social services.

To be honest, I really hope that social services will get involved as we both need support and this might be what helps our family

Yes saving I have no idea.

Did you mean to sound so patronising?

There was a bit of big drip feed from op regarding her husband so not surprised at the comments

TBH, shouting about one parent having the audacity to sleeping through mobile phone calls at 1am was always an over-reaction. Some people sleep deeply, and he had no idea his daughter had sneaked out.

Or maybe useless ,stupid,snoring his head off husband shouldn't have been the first assumption?

@Holdingtherope you can contact SS yourself for support. I am doing my MH nursing training and am also surprised at your lack of safeguarding and general medical knowledge. As a RMN surely you also know basic nursing and medicine? And I cannot believe you had no option to leave other than one hour earlier than your shift ending- why was the on call unreachable? Surely that negates her being on call? What about the manager? What if you’d started vomiting and needed to leave or you’d had a fit? Or god forbid your dd had had a worse reaction or worse accident and you’d needed to be by her side?
There sounds like a lot of shitty stuff going on for you as a family but your dd May either be doing a normal teen at NYE thing or this could be more of a cry for help from her...I hope you can ask for support.

Absolutely baffled at people angry at the husband.
Should he not sleep when he is alone?
I am confused on what people expect.

That's ok,they're angry at the OP too by the sounds of it.

When my DS2, at about the same age, did something vaguely similar I was awoken by the thunderous knocking of two police officers.

Seems DS2 was so drunk he couldn't remember his home number and I'm a widow so there was no one else they could try. I don't drive so they kindly drove me to the hospital where DS2 was being cared for on a trolley.

The hospital had treated my son without my permission (they had to, didn't they?). The police were a bit frosty at first but warmed up by the time we parted.

I only later realized they needed to satisfy themselves that my son had genuinely snuck out and I had no idea what he'd been up to. There was therefore no SS referral.

OP, I'm sorry that you're dealing with this.

They are also angry at me

I think some people are just angry and can't wait to get stuck in to someone!

OP with any luck this will have scared her enough to never do it again.

Look! it’s one of those things, I have no idea why a parent or close friend couldn't be made the responsible person, maybe you thought DH could cope. Wrong of her to have snuck out. Punishment wise, If your normally strict, let it go with a discussion of how it made you feel, and what could have happened. If you feel she has been getting away with too much, you could confiscate items she gets enjoyment from, find chores for the next two days etc. Next time you are working, not sure you can rely on DH, you need a responsible person to cover for you. NB. “Don't let this episode mar the New Year, move on”

I have no idea whether there will be a safeguarding follow-up from this, if there is, social services will simply be investigating whether you couldn't attend or whether you just couldn't be arsed.

This is a clear couldn't. You're a nurse in charge of patients and can't get someone to take over, and he is seriously ill and was too medicated to wake.

Just focus on trying to do the best you can with the juggling of responsibilities you've been landed with tonight.

Ans if nothing would've happened, or DD wasn't taken in no would have known anyways. Just like non eod the PP would if it was their kid regardless of how many phones they have and how alert they are.

Except for the few that seem to sleep in shifts or something so there's always someone watching.

@CareOfPunts

"Daughter snuck out, DH didn’t know. He has a terminal illness and takes strong medication."

Hope you're proud of yourself.

Isadora2007

So you are a student nurse and you know everything?

My DD thought much the same thing this time last year. Now qualified 11 months working in A&E, DD has experienced a baptism of fire and knows nothing is black and white any more.

The nursing and medical staff will care for the child, because once she is in hospital, they are in loco parentis and it is their job to do this.

Ideally the parents would attend. The problem of who is providing childcare might well be flagged to social services, but many of us who are parents have been through similar situations with teenagers. My own were a nightmare during those years, so I understand the situation that OP is in.

I hope your dd will be ok. Poor you. Poor girl. You’re all going through so much. I would be cutting her a lot of slack with the view that this evening will really have shaken her up. As for people saying you’re a nurse, you should know. I’m sure it would be very different if they were walking a mile in your shoes. Knowledge and training, I imagine, can all go out of the window when it’s one of your own.

I will even say I worked in CAMHS years ago and still had no idea. It’s just so different with your own isn’t it. My emotions are so involved.

Thanks guys

It’s irresponsible to not even be rousable when you’re solely responsible for children ffs. Yes I would be bloody raging at him snoring his fucking head off and incapable of being awoken when he needs to step up and parent his kids.

Some people are deep sleepers - they don't do it on purpose. Should parents never go to sleep when they have children in the house?

This is exceptional circumstances, my children come before anything and that includes work, get up to the hospital and be with your child.

Op . I would wait till you get her home to decide anything. Whilst not ideal sat in A&E May make her think .

She emotionally may be in a difficult place with your dh . That doesn’t excuse her behaviour but listen before making judgement

OP

No punishment.

Teens think differently to adults. If you punish her then next time (and there will be one, not necessarily drink) she needs adult help you do not want her not getting that help because she is worried about being in trouble.

Eg a drunk teen might decide to sleep the drink off in a park rather than going home to a punishment.

Every teen need a 'get out of jail free card' for situations like this.

When she is up to it a frank chat about alcohol.

Alcohol kills more people than any other drug.

It can take as little as 5 drinks to cause permanent damage.

Teenagers don't process alcohol the same way adults do, there is only one study done on this because of ethical issues. That study found teenagers had to drink more than adults in order not look drunk.

And a big hug to you OP horrible not to be able to drop things and go to your child.

The NMC just won’t accept that. I can’t leave 28 vulnerable residents with no nurse. Their is no winner here but my daughter is safe until I get there at 6.15

Yes it is very different having been around someone having a heart attack and another hit by a bus. I don’t have medical training. But I do have a dd with a frightening medical condition. Keeping calm when it’s your own child needs to be learned. Not long now till you can go to her.

@Isadora2007 - JESUS it’s NYE!!! Nobody’s answering their fucking phones to work calls, you fool! Students know fucking everything. Do you think she hasn’t tried to get cover?