Mumsnet thread responses for any occasion.

[Mysterian]

I'm a busy guy. I've got stuff to do, people to see and small animals to feed. (Metaphorical small animals, not real ones). What are some responses I can post on any thread without having to do all that crappy and time consuming reading the thread business?

Get a grip.

You sound like you need to do the freedom program. Have a look online and see if there’s one near you.

Oh, whatever you reply, just start with "I haven't RTFT, but..."

You'll be fine.

I’ll never understand why people don’t get married before having children.

L-A, pronounced La-dash-a.

It’s not an urban myth, I know 4 of them under 10. It’ll probably be a top 20 name next year.

“This too shall pass”

Food of the Gods!

Pick up a spelling mistake in the OP or title and point it out.

Personally I wouldn’t have had children without being married first

You sound lovely, OP.

Or

Grim.

(Depending on context)

“You should definitely go no contact with your mother, she sounds like a narcissist”.... said about any situation involving a falling out with a mum whether they’re a genuinely nice lady who inadvertently brought the OP Coco Mademoiselle for their birthday when they prefer Chanel No. 5 or Rose West.

You sound vile (a word you never see in RL); and....

Maypole dancing?

Get a grip, OP.

I’m sat here in tears reading your post op.

He sounds like a narcissist.

Brilliant thread

Just spat out my tea laughing

Oh it's no trouble I just chuck/throw/lob/rocket propel some food in the oven

Have you tried counselling?

Could you retrain as a childminder?

Could you get a cleaner?

Could you retrain as a phone sex chat worker?

Have you tried shopping at Aldi instead? I am drooling at the thought of their salted caramel brioche mince pies washed down with own brand toffee and herring gin.

Could you retrain as a health visitor?

You sound like a snob.

Ever thought of becoming a teacher?

That name really doesn't pass the high court judge test.

Have you considered retraining as an undertaker?

You sound controlling, OP.

Sorry to derail the thread but if I ate that much oxygen all at once I’d have to lie down; this is why we have an obesity crisis.

Mumsnet has changed for the worst.

I have literally never heard /seen /read about this before, therefore I call BS.

You obviously need to get a better paid job op.

Have you thought about asking your family /friends/bank for a loan rather than a doorstop lender?

Geologist here.

I agreed with you right up until you used the word "hubby /nibbles /little man /the girls".

You really are overthinking this, op.

I feel sorry for your kids