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Original poster

Can’t stop thinking about this comment..

343 replies

sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 20:58

(Sorry if this is a long post but I will only add what is needed for context)

Throughout all of my adult life I have been a size 8 but due to complications with endometriosis and blood clots last year, I got the contraceptive injection to stop my periods and as a result of this my thyroid has become under active and I have now gained a lot of weight and am now a size 14.

This year I have lost a stone and have been trying really hard to get back into shape as I feel so down about the way I look. This was inspired by the goal of a two week holiday abroad that I went to on the 3rd of December.

I got myself lots of new nice clothes and made a real effort to try and build my self confidence. I mostly felt ok in what I was wearing and could feel almost stylish.

However, one day on the holiday I went to a shopping complex on the beach with my DM. I was wearing a swimsuit with a skort cover up over the top and I felt like I looked nice for a change as I felt the swimsuit flattered My curves and the skort was flattering on my stomach.

As I was browsing the shop a lady selling something on a market stall called out to me and said “do you know how disgusting you look from the back?” I at first thought I had miss-heard her and looked confused so she repeated “Do you know how disgusting you look?” I was so upset and confused I tried to walk away but my DM (who was previously looking in a shop) walked over to join me. The women then shouted to her “are you her mother?” To which my mum replied yes. I walked away to escape the situation but my DM approached her and she repeated about how disgusting I looked to her. I walked to a near by bench and cried my eyes out. My mother complained to the manager of the shop her market stall was out but I ended up cutting our shopping day short as I felt so self conscious.

At first I thought it could’ve been because my skirt was short (not indecent - especially for the beach) but there were girls wandering around in their bikinis (and even a girl in a thong bikini standing next to the shop).

I can’t stop thinking about this comment and thinking about how fat and grotesque I must look for a random women to say this. I have never felt more insecure and I don’t know how to speed up the weight loss process more than I can. I can’t come off the injection as it’s the only thing helping with my endometriosis that works. I just feel so disappointed in myself and unhappy.

My mum believes this happened because I have a very prominent hour glass figure (which is true but a wobbly belly) and that the women felt I looked ‘disgusting’ as it was sexier than most others but I feel like my DM is just trying to make me feel better and can’t stop over thinking.

I don’t really know what the point in this post is but maybe to get some tips on how to stop overthinking those cruel words, every time I close my eyes at night to go to bed I just repeat it over and over in my head.

Sorry for the long winded vent post Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 21:00

Market stall was outside of* sorry typing on my phone so it’s hard to spot mistakes!

OP posts:
DownWhichOfLate · 19/12/2019 21:03

So many different issues in there. But, ultimately, ignore the comment - the woman sounds slightly unhinged.

smemorata · 19/12/2019 21:04

Some people are just complete wankers and she is one of them - so please don't take it personally! A photographer wanted to take a pic of me and dd on holiday and when I politely refused he told me I was an ugly bitch anyway. Some people really are just sad losers!

TreesSandSea · 19/12/2019 21:04

Says a lot more about her than you.

What a nasty person she must be

meow1989 · 19/12/2019 21:05

Oh that's so horrible, what a vile woman Flowers

I had a similar ish thing happen to me on holiday when I was about 20- I have a very prominent scar from complications with an appendix removal. I was walking through a market with a bikini top one and short and a stall holder shouted "operation!" Whilst pointing at my stomach. It really knocks your confidence doesnt it.

flyingchip · 19/12/2019 21:06

no one in their right mind would say that to someone.. so as awful as it was try and write it off as someone who clearly had a lot of issues herself. she does indeed sound unhinged.

Original poster
sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 21:06

Thank you everyone. I know it reflects on her and not me but it’s just stuck in my head! I just want to forget it ever happened. I have asked for a fit bit and scales for Christmas to help with the WeightLoss in the new year.

@meow1989 that’s awful! Im so sorry that happened to you Flowers

OP posts:
Original poster
sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 21:11

For some added context here’s a photo of me in my swim dress that was a similar length to the skort Blush I deleted all photos of me in the outfit I wore that day as I felt so ashamed of myself.

Can’t stop thinking about this comment..
OP posts:
meow1989 · 19/12/2019 21:12

@sunshinegirl31 thanks, it was a long time ago, in a way it's a shame it dodnt happen more recently as I'd be quite likely to tell him he would be in need of an operation if he's not careful rather than scuttle off humiliated (ok, maybe it's just as well Grin)

Dont let your confidence be rocked, you can lose weight if you want, she cant change her ugly personality though!

Lordfrontpaw · 19/12/2019 21:12

Don’t feel bad - she must have been a horrible, ugly hearted person. Or drunk. Either way, I’m sure she was no oil painting.

People like that only attack those they think won’t punch them on the nose. I’m sure she was pissed off with someone or something else and just spewed it out.

14 isn’t fat for goodness sake.

She is noone to you - why bother with her ramblings? If someone you respected said something horrible then yes, you have a right to be upset - but she is nothing to you.

Don’t give her headspace. Focus on the nice things people have said to you, not the ramblings of a nobody.

meow1989 · 19/12/2019 21:13

@sunshinegirl13 not 31 sorry

Lordfrontpaw · 19/12/2019 21:13

Oh the photo is lovely! An absolute bombshell - she was just jealous!

Binterested · 19/12/2019 21:14

Can’t see your photo and don’t need to. At a size 14 and losing weight you are clearly not disgusting (no one is obviously but your body shape sounds really rather normal and unremarkable). You have to chalk this up to her being a weirdo.

Lordfrontpaw · 19/12/2019 21:15

@ meow1989 - how you didn’t shout back ‘no, knife fight’ I don’t know. I have a very weird scar on my leg which I usually say was caused by a shark.

Original poster
sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 21:16

@meow1989 haha! I’m in my early 20s myself and I felt to shy and shocked to say anything but when i got back to the hotel I thought of all the good replies I could’ve said back in response, so I can see where you’re coming from.

Hopefully she will see the error of her ways and her personality will change to stop this from happening to anyone else. DM said the women was panicking outside the shop while she was speaking to the managers as they didn’t want her losing them sales

OP posts:
JumpyLiz · 19/12/2019 21:16

You don’t need to post a photo Crown Hmm mentally well people don’t comment aggressively on other people’s appearance.

The issue was hers, move on.

notanurse2017 · 19/12/2019 21:17

Op you look gorgeous!

Pinkblueberry · 19/12/2019 21:17

This woman was clearly off her rocker, but I have to say you should maybe take a leaf out of her book - she clearly doesn’t give a shit about what others think of her behaving like a raving lunatic, so neither should you care about what said lunatic says to you. You walked out that day feeling good about yourself - I find we are our own fiercest critics when we look in the mirror so you must have looked really great! I think your size is in many ways irrelevant - even if you were still a size 8 those words would have surely hurt. That woman was horrible to you - so please make up for that by being kind to yourself. Tell yourself how great and beautiful you are and let that be what you repeat to yourself instead when you go to bed at night.Flowers

MissClareRemembers · 19/12/2019 21:17

Wow! You look phenomenal!

She was unhinged, you are enviably curvy.

Envy ⬅️ definitely envy

Bilingualspingual · 19/12/2019 21:18

I was all set to be polite and all ‘aw I’m sure you’re not too bad’ when you show us pure Jessica Rabbit! The stall holder was EATEN UP with jealousy. There is no other possible explanation.

Original poster
sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 21:18

@Lordfrontpaw thank you! I know not to give her any headspace and know realistically it’s her issue and nothing to do with me but it keeps creeping back up like an annoying fly in my mind. I am going to just try and make a joke of it in my mind as her being an oddball instead

OP posts:
Glitterb · 19/12/2019 21:18

Please do not let this horrible vile individual upset you. I cannot understand why she felt the need to comment at all!

From the photo you look fab!

Panpastels · 19/12/2019 21:20

I suspect the 'disgusting' was meant in a you are flaunting yourself you awful woman kind of way!
Which is not acceptable in the slightest but had you been truly revolting I doubt she would have said it. Your figure is amazing!

Original poster
sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 21:20

Thank you everyone for being so so lovely. I think that the difference in weight in such a short time has just knocked me a bit and that’s where the issue stems from, alongside feeling helpless. I will keep reminding myself I am on the right track, have a lovely supportive family and boyfriend and that women’s thoughts don’t matter.

OP posts:
Lordfrontpaw · 19/12/2019 21:21

You know it’s not true. Don't let it give you a moment of uncertainty.

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