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Original poster

Can’t stop thinking about this comment..

343 replies

sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 20:58

(Sorry if this is a long post but I will only add what is needed for context)

Throughout all of my adult life I have been a size 8 but due to complications with endometriosis and blood clots last year, I got the contraceptive injection to stop my periods and as a result of this my thyroid has become under active and I have now gained a lot of weight and am now a size 14.

This year I have lost a stone and have been trying really hard to get back into shape as I feel so down about the way I look. This was inspired by the goal of a two week holiday abroad that I went to on the 3rd of December.

I got myself lots of new nice clothes and made a real effort to try and build my self confidence. I mostly felt ok in what I was wearing and could feel almost stylish.

However, one day on the holiday I went to a shopping complex on the beach with my DM. I was wearing a swimsuit with a skort cover up over the top and I felt like I looked nice for a change as I felt the swimsuit flattered My curves and the skort was flattering on my stomach.

As I was browsing the shop a lady selling something on a market stall called out to me and said “do you know how disgusting you look from the back?” I at first thought I had miss-heard her and looked confused so she repeated “Do you know how disgusting you look?” I was so upset and confused I tried to walk away but my DM (who was previously looking in a shop) walked over to join me. The women then shouted to her “are you her mother?” To which my mum replied yes. I walked away to escape the situation but my DM approached her and she repeated about how disgusting I looked to her. I walked to a near by bench and cried my eyes out. My mother complained to the manager of the shop her market stall was out but I ended up cutting our shopping day short as I felt so self conscious.

At first I thought it could’ve been because my skirt was short (not indecent - especially for the beach) but there were girls wandering around in their bikinis (and even a girl in a thong bikini standing next to the shop).

I can’t stop thinking about this comment and thinking about how fat and grotesque I must look for a random women to say this. I have never felt more insecure and I don’t know how to speed up the weight loss process more than I can. I can’t come off the injection as it’s the only thing helping with my endometriosis that works. I just feel so disappointed in myself and unhappy.

My mum believes this happened because I have a very prominent hour glass figure (which is true but a wobbly belly) and that the women felt I looked ‘disgusting’ as it was sexier than most others but I feel like my DM is just trying to make me feel better and can’t stop over thinking.

I don’t really know what the point in this post is but maybe to get some tips on how to stop overthinking those cruel words, every time I close my eyes at night to go to bed I just repeat it over and over in my head.

Sorry for the long winded vent post Blush

OP posts:
TheSpatchcock · 20/12/2019 20:05

I can't picture it at all? Is this a secret test or something? Spot the photoshop? Or I have a great fucker and I know it, but pretending not to? 🤔

TheSpatchcock · 20/12/2019 20:06

figure ffs Confused

CorBlimeyGovenor · 20/12/2019 20:11

Oh you poor poor thing! What gives someone the right to say something so utterly nasty. They must be so very unhappy to say something so horrid. It is a reflection on them, not you. My guess would be that, rather than this having anything to do with your weight, she sensed a vulnerability that allowed her to make herself feel better about herself by putting someone else down. Ultimately she will have long forgotten about her comment. It was probably one of many comments for her. If you dwell on it, she carries on oblivious and without a care and you continue to feel upset and angry. What's the bet that she wasn't a young beautiful supermodel herself! We all age. We all lose our looks and figures. But what's the bet that you will have a happier life surrounded by nice people that you haven't driven away with your bitterness!

BringMeTea · 20/12/2019 20:14
Grin
Lunalady21 · 20/12/2019 20:17

You have a very beautiful womanly figure .. This shape is what women strive for these days! Curves in all the right places! Just stunning! Ignore the old bag on the market stall!

peanutfoldover · 20/12/2019 20:18

I would kill for that figure. I think my husband would kill for me to have that figure.

You do not look disgusting, by any standards.

I think she is a pious old trout who thought you looked sexy/provocative and in her mind that was ‘disgusting’.

MistyCloud · 20/12/2019 20:28

@Peanutfoldover

I think she is a pious old trout who thought you looked sexy/ provocative and in her mind that was ‘disgusting’.

This in spades. ^ I have witnessed quite a number of sour, pious, and dowdy/frumpy women being really nasty and vitriolic about very attractive women. Especially curvy women with large breasts, small waists, short-ish dresses and skirts, and curvy hips/bum.

Calling them all sorts of names; slut, tramp, whore, and all sorts (behind their back, and occasionally to their face.) And for no other reason than the female target was very attractive and sexy, and admired a lot by men.

As I said, it does happen, so people can stop saying it doesn't.

BaubleTheLumpOfCoal · 20/12/2019 20:35

Oh this thread is just becoming ridiculous now Grin

BlueEyedBengal · 20/12/2019 20:41

You have a beautiful figure, curves where they should be. Please ignore this nasty woman shes only a problem to herself. I myself are dieting and my aim is a size 14 I'm a 18 at the moment so please just be happy in how you really look,

JellyNo15 · 20/12/2019 20:51

After seeing that photo it is obvious that the woman was envious. You have a great, sexy figure. Reminds me of Kelly Brook.

duvetstealer · 20/12/2019 20:51

Please show in detail where the photoshopping is, I'm struggling?

minesagin37 · 20/12/2019 21:40

She sounds mentally ill. We know healthcare isn't great over there so you paid the price. This isn't about you so try to forget it.

Loveablers · 20/12/2019 21:52

@duvetstealer

If you look at the red wall behind her it has a pattern on. The pattern is diagonal as you can see in the circle to the right (looking at the picture)

If you look to the left of the picture the pattern is completely wonky where she’s photoshopped her waist thinner. She’s dragged her waist inwards which has caused the pattern on the wall to follow and end up wonky.

Can’t stop thinking about this comment..
Skidzer · 20/12/2019 21:53

You have a beautiful figure, curves where they should be.

I take exception to that. My natural figure is very slim and athletic. I don't have 'curves where they should be' but there is absolutely nothing to say my figure is less 'womanly' than the photo posted here. I think for every different body shape, there is a man for each one. Tits, ass, legs, face, eyes, hair, feet, slim, curvy, fat. There are as many different body shapes as there are different appeals to men.

Skidzer · 20/12/2019 21:57

She sounds mentally ill. We know healthcare isn't great over there so you paid the price.

What is this nonsense? Spain has arguably a better healthcare system than the UK. In fact I think it is higher on the list.

I know when I was there years ago, I was x-rayed at the GP surgery, found to have a chest infection and given antibiotics. None of the shite you have here where it takes 2 weeks to get an appointment, then a month to get an x-ray.

sifted · 20/12/2019 21:59

Op you look gorgeous
The woman who said that has some vile issues to have said that , ignor her , hold your head up proudly and flaunt your body you look fabulous and I for one wouldn't mind looking like you do

duvetstealer · 20/12/2019 22:32

Nope. That's wood grain painted over.

Chesntoots · 20/12/2019 22:47

You have a figure like Jessica Rabbit! That's awesome and I am totally jealous!!

I have endo and I only wish I could look like that.

Try and ignore what she said, though I know it's hard. Enjoy the rest of your holiday.

whatsyaname · 20/12/2019 22:49

A skinny relatively small chested girl in a thong bikini can be perceived as less sexy than a curvy, larger breasted women in tight clothing. I certainly wouldn't be making rude comments, but maybe she felt you were inappropriately dressed, beach mall or not.

Was the swimming costume low cut at the back or showing side boob? I can't think a short skirt, would be the issue in a beach area.

whatsyaname · 20/12/2019 22:52

Ps I think she was totally rude to comment. No one should comment on anyone out loud. I know I'm being hypocritical commenting on here, but you haven't shown the exact outfit from the back so we can't really tell.

LuckyAmy1986 · 20/12/2019 22:58

Am I being thick? This doesn’t look photoshopped at all to me... looks like natural grains in the wood

WorraLiberty · 20/12/2019 23:09

I'm not going to comment on the story in the OP or your photograph sunshinegirl13.

But I will say this, you say you've 'never felt more insecure' and you also say..... I’m actually in shock with the response my photo has gotten! And although I suspect a lot of them are sympathetic complements I am grateful, it will be nice to go to bed thinking of these for a change.

I really question why you think it's a good idea to post photos of yourself on social media, if that's the way you feel? You suspect a lot of the compliments are out of sympathy and yet you're still 'grateful'? Confused

Posting photos of ourselves online is not compulsory and honestly, if you're feeling so fragile that you're taking comfort from compliments that you don't believe are even genuine, how are you going to deal with insults?

Insults aren't allowed here on MN but they are on other SM platforms, so please be very careful if you're not thick skinned because even supermodels get nasty, bitchy comments on their photos.

Loveablers · 21/12/2019 00:33

@duvetstealer

Yes and everywhere else it’s pretty much horizontal. And yet to the left side where she’s skimmed her waist it’s all wonky and all over the place. You can clearly see where she’s dragged her waist inwards because it’s pulled the pattern of the wall in with it aswell

duvetstealer · 21/12/2019 04:19

@loveablers
No, I still just see wood grain! I've been a photographer for 21 years and used Photoshop for approximately 19 of them years. That is not photoshopped.

TheOrigFV45 · 21/12/2019 07:39

What I find strange (and correct me if I'm wrong) is that the OPs figure does not look like one that has gained weight from an under active thyroid.
To go from a size 8 to 14 - would someone retain the curves in the same way? I'm not explaining myself very well.