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Original poster

Can’t stop thinking about this comment..

343 replies

sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 20:58

(Sorry if this is a long post but I will only add what is needed for context)

Throughout all of my adult life I have been a size 8 but due to complications with endometriosis and blood clots last year, I got the contraceptive injection to stop my periods and as a result of this my thyroid has become under active and I have now gained a lot of weight and am now a size 14.

This year I have lost a stone and have been trying really hard to get back into shape as I feel so down about the way I look. This was inspired by the goal of a two week holiday abroad that I went to on the 3rd of December.

I got myself lots of new nice clothes and made a real effort to try and build my self confidence. I mostly felt ok in what I was wearing and could feel almost stylish.

However, one day on the holiday I went to a shopping complex on the beach with my DM. I was wearing a swimsuit with a skort cover up over the top and I felt like I looked nice for a change as I felt the swimsuit flattered My curves and the skort was flattering on my stomach.

As I was browsing the shop a lady selling something on a market stall called out to me and said “do you know how disgusting you look from the back?” I at first thought I had miss-heard her and looked confused so she repeated “Do you know how disgusting you look?” I was so upset and confused I tried to walk away but my DM (who was previously looking in a shop) walked over to join me. The women then shouted to her “are you her mother?” To which my mum replied yes. I walked away to escape the situation but my DM approached her and she repeated about how disgusting I looked to her. I walked to a near by bench and cried my eyes out. My mother complained to the manager of the shop her market stall was out but I ended up cutting our shopping day short as I felt so self conscious.

At first I thought it could’ve been because my skirt was short (not indecent - especially for the beach) but there were girls wandering around in their bikinis (and even a girl in a thong bikini standing next to the shop).

I can’t stop thinking about this comment and thinking about how fat and grotesque I must look for a random women to say this. I have never felt more insecure and I don’t know how to speed up the weight loss process more than I can. I can’t come off the injection as it’s the only thing helping with my endometriosis that works. I just feel so disappointed in myself and unhappy.

My mum believes this happened because I have a very prominent hour glass figure (which is true but a wobbly belly) and that the women felt I looked ‘disgusting’ as it was sexier than most others but I feel like my DM is just trying to make me feel better and can’t stop over thinking.

I don’t really know what the point in this post is but maybe to get some tips on how to stop overthinking those cruel words, every time I close my eyes at night to go to bed I just repeat it over and over in my head.

Sorry for the long winded vent post Blush

OP posts:
tectonicplates · 19/12/2019 22:23

OP, I agree with your mum's comments.

To anyone accusing the OP of stealth boasting: I disagree. There is a certain type of negativity aimed at hourglass-shaped women where they get accused of showing off. There are often times when just a simple, plain item of clothing can look "sexy" in a way that it wouldn't do on a less curved figure. Women of this shape have even been accused of not dressing professionally enough for work, even though they dress the same as everyone else. It's a real, genuine problem. When this awful woman said the OP looked "disgusting" the chances are she actually meant overly sexualised rather than commenting on her overall weight. I think there might have been a language barrier going on and this woman didn't know the right word, but either way she was very rude.

But anyway, stop accusing the OP of showing off.

PicsInRed · 19/12/2019 22:24

From the photo, it's clear that she was jealous and also probably a female misogynist - your female body triggered her own internal self-hatred, which she projected back at you with venom.

Absolutely discount everything she said. There's nothing wrong with your body and everything wrong with her mind.

Lllot5 · 19/12/2019 22:24

If she works in shopping centre near a beach you can’t possibly be the only person she has seen who is a size 14 or more. She must be shouting at people all day long.
Very odd

haverhill · 19/12/2019 22:25

OP you’re a knockout. I’d kill for your waistline.
The woman was either not well or insanely jealous.

Original poster
sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 22:25

@Daffodil55 I think this too. Sometimes when i think about it I replay the situation in my head and think of things I would of loved to respond. My top three favourites are:

  1. Disgusting? Like your personality you mean
  1. Sorry I can’t hear you over your judgment
  1. Did that make your sad little heart feel better for five minutes?

But I’m overall glad I didn’t respond as I don’t want to engage with people like that.

OP posts:
RickOShay · 19/12/2019 22:25

I know it’s hard, but really you have to feel sorry for her.
You are gorgeous @sunshinegirl13.
She was jealous it’s as simple as that. Don’t give her any more space on your head. Flowers

Horsepants · 19/12/2019 22:26

Wow! You look amazing OP-reminds me of Jessica Rabbit and look how sexy she is. I know she's a cartoon but she's a fantasy of what a lot of women and men see as sexy. She was just jealous.

RufusthebewiIderedreindeer · 19/12/2019 22:27

There are often times when just a simple, plain item of clothing can look "sexy" in a way that it wouldn't do on a less curved figure

I had to explain this to 17 year old dd the other day, an outfit that looked pretty on her tall slim friend looked much too sexy on dd

sunshine

You look stunning in that photo, i would kill for a waist

ladycarlotta · 19/12/2019 22:27

oh my word, you are smokin'. The woman is probably jealous, definitely unhinged. I know how uncomfortable it can feel to be at a weight that you don't recognise as 'yours', but OP you really do look great.

MoStew18 · 19/12/2019 22:28

Sunshinegirl13 some people are absolutely vile I agree with the other posters she must of been unhinged! You have an absolute beautiful figure most woman would die for!! Do not take any notice on what she said she was obviously jealous! If I had a figure like yours I'd be parading myself all over town! 😂 you are loosing weight for yourself and for your own happiness don't let anyone take that away from you! X

ButterfliesandMoths · 19/12/2019 22:29

What a truly horrible nasty thing for her to say. You have a fantastic figure. Please don't let her knock your confidence.

FalalalalaloreanFortescue · 19/12/2019 22:30

"Do you know how disgusting you look from the front?"

babbi · 19/12/2019 22:30

You look gorgeous 👌🏻

She is a rude vile individual....

Forget and move on

Original poster
sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 22:31

I am going to take a deep breath and try and replace all of her negativity with all of your positivity. Thank you so much Flowers (sorry for saying thank you every five minutes, I really wasn’t expecting this reaction and don’t really know how to respond Blush)

OP posts:
nettie434 · 19/12/2019 22:32

As everyone says, you look fantastic in that photo. I just can’t imagine how anyone could say something like that. Maybe she was trying to say ‘I have something on my stall that is better‘? I am scraping the barrel here as there is no logical reason for what she said. That stall is not going to last long if she carries on being so offensive to potential customers!

Qcng · 19/12/2019 22:32

OMG your figure is amazing!

What your mum said was true in my opinion, the "sexy" curvy shape does draw attention and envy.
Forget the mad woman, She was obviously extremely jealous !

Butterfly84 · 19/12/2019 22:32

Wow OP you look amazing in that dress!

Not a sympathy comment either, truly mean that. There's nothing disgusting about your body, ignore that woman, obviously jealousy.

Sarcelle · 19/12/2019 22:33

It was this....

Can’t stop thinking about this comment..
tectonicplates · 19/12/2019 22:33

Btw OP, if you're ever having trouble finding clothes that fit your body shape, may I highly recommend Collectif, Hell Bunny and most other vintage-style brands. Collectif clothes in particular have a different waist to hip ratio than most high street clothes and they really do fit better than anything at Zara.

Original poster
sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 22:34

@nettie434 that would’ve been a good idea and I probably would’ve considered that except her stall was of those tatty fridge magnets and decorations, not clothes

OP posts:
MoStew18 · 19/12/2019 22:34

@Sarcelle

completely agree!!!

7dayslater · 19/12/2019 22:34

Honestly I think that's just a mean comment. Perhaps she is insecure herself.

FrogFairy · 19/12/2019 22:35

I strongly suspect that she felt she was taking you down a peg or two for having the audacity to walk around looking so sexy. When a man does this it is called negging.

Original poster
sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 22:36

@sarcelle it was what sorry?

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 19/12/2019 22:37

On this I'd agree with your mother and the other posters, you look great, genuinely and the woman was jealous so attacked. She's clearly not well mentally mentally to attack like that. You need to try to remember that.

To be fair though, I'm confident, but I'd also have been really taken aback and hurt by it, I wouldn't have cried, I'd have told her to fuck off, but it would have stayed with me and made me feel maybe she had a point, so I do understand your reaction,

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