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Original poster

Can’t stop thinking about this comment..

343 replies

sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 20:58

(Sorry if this is a long post but I will only add what is needed for context)

Throughout all of my adult life I have been a size 8 but due to complications with endometriosis and blood clots last year, I got the contraceptive injection to stop my periods and as a result of this my thyroid has become under active and I have now gained a lot of weight and am now a size 14.

This year I have lost a stone and have been trying really hard to get back into shape as I feel so down about the way I look. This was inspired by the goal of a two week holiday abroad that I went to on the 3rd of December.

I got myself lots of new nice clothes and made a real effort to try and build my self confidence. I mostly felt ok in what I was wearing and could feel almost stylish.

However, one day on the holiday I went to a shopping complex on the beach with my DM. I was wearing a swimsuit with a skort cover up over the top and I felt like I looked nice for a change as I felt the swimsuit flattered My curves and the skort was flattering on my stomach.

As I was browsing the shop a lady selling something on a market stall called out to me and said “do you know how disgusting you look from the back?” I at first thought I had miss-heard her and looked confused so she repeated “Do you know how disgusting you look?” I was so upset and confused I tried to walk away but my DM (who was previously looking in a shop) walked over to join me. The women then shouted to her “are you her mother?” To which my mum replied yes. I walked away to escape the situation but my DM approached her and she repeated about how disgusting I looked to her. I walked to a near by bench and cried my eyes out. My mother complained to the manager of the shop her market stall was out but I ended up cutting our shopping day short as I felt so self conscious.

At first I thought it could’ve been because my skirt was short (not indecent - especially for the beach) but there were girls wandering around in their bikinis (and even a girl in a thong bikini standing next to the shop).

I can’t stop thinking about this comment and thinking about how fat and grotesque I must look for a random women to say this. I have never felt more insecure and I don’t know how to speed up the weight loss process more than I can. I can’t come off the injection as it’s the only thing helping with my endometriosis that works. I just feel so disappointed in myself and unhappy.

My mum believes this happened because I have a very prominent hour glass figure (which is true but a wobbly belly) and that the women felt I looked ‘disgusting’ as it was sexier than most others but I feel like my DM is just trying to make me feel better and can’t stop over thinking.

I don’t really know what the point in this post is but maybe to get some tips on how to stop overthinking those cruel words, every time I close my eyes at night to go to bed I just repeat it over and over in my head.

Sorry for the long winded vent post Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 22:37

@tectonicplates ohhh! I will give them a look. I mainly live in dresses/skirt or leggings, as I struggle to get jeans and shorts to fit due to my larger behind 😂

OP posts:
Iamacrapmom · 19/12/2019 22:38

I'm sure she has a lot of issues because that is not normal behaviour. Just out of cursoity what did she look like haha btw your figure is lovely I bet she was jealous

Original poster
sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 22:39

@Bluntness100 I think the tears came from a combination of shock and feeling insecure in myself anyway. It was almost a verification of my insecurities and that’s what’s playing on my mind.

OP posts:
TrickyKid · 19/12/2019 22:40

Wow! Looking at that photo i'd say she was jealous. Extremely rude to shout at you regardless of what you look like but she clearly has issues. Ignore her, your figure is amazing.

underneaththeash · 19/12/2019 22:41

Personally, I find it odd that anyone would walk around a shop/restaurant with just a swimsuit, bikini on anyway.
Whenever I go away women just put a cover up over the top and men wear a shirt outside the pool or beach.

I don't want to see anyone's arse in a shop - peachy or not.

Original poster
sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 22:41

@Iamacrapmom she was a very slim women but oldish (around late 50s... or that could’ve been her being aged from sun damage being in a hot climate daily). She was wasn’t unattractive or overly attractive in my opinion

OP posts:
Original poster
sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 22:42

@underneaththeash I was in a cover up!

OP posts:
TheMostWonderfulTimeForABeer · 19/12/2019 22:43

You have a lovely figure, (and gorgeous hair too!). We’re all saying it because it’s true.

Please focus on everyone’s positive comments and dismiss completely the spiteful mean words from some random horrid stranger.

She probably wanted to lash out because you made her feel jealous or realise she’s dissatisfied with herself in some way.

Just forget her, you’ll never see her again and there’s not a grain of truth in her nastiness xx

Original poster
sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 22:43

@underneaththeash it would’ve been like wearing a body suit and skirt in a hot country rather than anything else. I had a top with me but it was 26 degrees and I was sweating so wore the swimsuit as a top but again there were others in bikinis around not just me.

OP posts:
MoStew18 · 19/12/2019 22:44

@Iamacrapmom that's not really the point no woman or man should be body shamed in any way shape or form let alone in such a public manor... and as OP stated she was wearing a cover up it's still not an excuse to be an utter arse.

IhateBoswell · 19/12/2019 22:44

You know your figure isn't vile, otherwise you wouldn't have posted a picture of yourself for many strangers to judge.

Pretty much sums it up really. Nine posts into the thread, no prompting. 🤷

KellyHall · 19/12/2019 22:45

She's an arsehole, life's too short to let other people's problems become your problems.
A male member of staff decided to make nasty comments to me every time he saw me while I was on holiday and getting married abroad. It upset me at the time but my now husband told him in no uncertain terms to shove his words where they'd be very uncomfortable and it did stop.
There were so many reasons to be happy about the holiday, I focus on those. I'll never forget the nasty little twat but I will always know he acted that way because of him, not because of me.
You need to understand horrible people are horrible, they'll always find someone to upset because they're so pathetic it's the only way they can feel big. Don't let them be big, don't give them power over you.

CrazyCatMamma · 19/12/2019 22:45

Could be a case for @didthishapppen 🙄

MoStew18 · 19/12/2019 22:46

Sorry @Iamacrapmom I tagged the wrong poster x... that was for @underneaththeash

IAmNotAWitch · 19/12/2019 22:47

You look great.

But that isn't actually relevant.

It wouldn't matter WHAT you looked like, there was no need for her to make any comment whatsoever. I also suspect that it didn't matter what you looked like, she had some shit going on in her head and took it out on the people in front of her.

Shake it off, humans are very very strange in lots of odd ways. Best not to let them in your head.

Original poster
sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 22:47

@IhateBoswell I have already responded to this, it was to show the length. I had no idea this reaction was coming. I mentioned in the OP that I had an hourglass figure but I am still uncomfortable at my size. I have been slim my entire life and this is a drastic change for me, even if it’s not drastic for others.

OP posts:
BrusselPout · 19/12/2019 22:47

You look amazing in that photo OP, don't pay any attention to that comment!!

inthekitchensink · 19/12/2019 22:48

It’s irrelevant that your body is beautiful (which it undoubtedly is), get your self esteem up so that if you had a friend who was not so blessed got the same outpouring of vitriole that you would feel exactly the same - you are not there to be judged by anyone and anyone stupid enough to say anything will be met with a flick like you would an ant. What is disgusting anyway? Was your labia on show or you pissed on the floor? Please. Not a Second more thought.

beepbeeprichie · 19/12/2019 22:48

Your figure is lovely

Original poster
sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 22:49

I don’t understand the disbelief, it’s not a wild story. A women made nasty comments to me in a public place and I have been upset and thinking about them. Are people’s lives really that tame that this seems far fetched to them Confused

OP posts:
ConnorRipley · 19/12/2019 22:49

My nana used to say things like that at the onset of her dementia.

Honestly that is so rude and bizarre of her to say that I have to think there’s something else going on with her mind.

tiqtok · 19/12/2019 22:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 22:51

Thank you for all your kind compliments regarding my figure but I am going to kindly ask if they could stop as I don’t want people to keep saying that I’m doing this for a confidence boost.

I will try and forget about the comments and focus on the nice ones here instead. Smile

OP posts:
BillHadersNewWife · 19/12/2019 22:53

Omg it was because you're stunning OP! Like a model. THe cow was jealous!

Original poster
sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 22:53

@tiqtok I am a British women I can assure you. Sorry that my writing isn’t right for you? I am typing on my phone, so that could be the issue?

OP posts:
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