Fucking had enough. Genuinely. Need a handhold.

[fuckinghadenoughnow]

I have NC because I don't want this linking to my profile.

I have had enough.

Life is miserable. Reasons are my shitty, disrespectful 5 year old who is getting worse right now.

My husband who is fed up in his job and wont/can't do anything about it.

My parents who are on the brink of having no food or money.

I genuinely don't know if I can take anymore. I feel like I am carrying everything right now.

My son is a strong boy, and stupidly, I back down. it'#s my own fault I know but I can't cope with him being upset. Last night he had asked could we put the decorations up. We did. And let him stay up a little later. He became a little shit when after 30 mins extra time he was told it was bedtime. Kicking off. Crying. Screaming. Saying we had spoiled his day. I did my best to stay calm and not lose my shit. eventually, after an HOUR he calmed and was in bed. My husband says to leave him to cry but for my own reasons (anxiety) I can't cope with it.

This morning we needed milk as the milk we had in had turned sour. He kicked off majorly because it meant he would have to pause his tablet for 5 mins whilst we went out. And yknow what... i almost contemplated thinking fuck it and leaving him home alone and going for milk.

We get to school and he plays football with a school owned football. It rolls across the playground and another child grabs it. This child did nothing wrong at all. He and my son have always had a fractious relationship. My son shouts at this kid saying he was playing with it. the other child gets upset and is hystercial beacuse my son shouted at him. I took the ball off my son and told him he needed to apologise. he refused point blank until he got into school. Then came out saying the other child ignored him.

My husband is down and pissed off with his job and the situation with our son but equally doesn't do anything about his work situastion and says to me he has no idea what to do about our son. I think he's as downtrodden as I am.

I genuinely feel like walking away from evrything. I can't do this much more. I feel sick every morning. And every evening when I am going home as to whether my son/husband has been good/had a good day.

I cannot do this anymore.

That's a really positive update op. (lovely about the hug too ) dabbing my eyes reading that! Hang in there and don't forget to do something for yourself; even if it's just an hour or so a week

Aww - well done OP!

It is amazing how much children respond to positive comments/praise etc. We tend to focus on the 'no!, don't do that' etc and negative behaviour and forget to praise when they've done something good.
I'm pleased things have improved over a short period. Of course they'll be hiccups but keep reinforcing the praise and telling him what is expected of him like the iPad, that he had to turn it off when asked instead of springing it on him.
Inside he just wants to please you and it sounds like he has

It's also worth just telling him you love him. Especially when he is not being very lovable!

I used to play a game with my DC and it goes thus:
"How big do I love you? - whilst holding my hands close together. Shake my head.
"How big do I love you - hands get a tiny bit further apart. Shake my head.
And so on and so on until arms wide apart and then scoop them up into a cuddle.
They used to love it!!! And to join in.

@Mishappening - awww, that's lovely!
I bet they'll always remember too.

I used to read a book to my DD called 'no matter what ' - about a fox cub who even though he was a grim and grumpy little small would his mother still love him at all? It's a rhyming book that we still have about a mother's love. DD is now 15 but she remembers it and when she's in a mood we still call her a grim and grumpy little small! 🤣 - doesn't quite go down as well as it used too!

to not too - sorry

Hi all,

Thanks again for all your comments and suggestions. They have really helped.

We have had yet another lovely evening and morning with drop off at school being great too. And it's all stemmed from us. Not him. Our attitudes have changed and in turn, so has his.

@Mishappening I did this last night, and this morning and he loved it. He even did it back to me.

Still contemplationg the GP/HV referral...

Lovely positive update!

See, 2 days ago you were at the end of your tether and now look ! Long may it continue!

Your updates are lovely Op so glad things are better for you all.

I'm under no impression it's fixed. It takes work. But we will get there.

Yes it takes work but it is useful to have that 'secret weapon'. If it starts to get whingy and messy and awful- switch moods. With DS who is 5 not DH who is an adult

Lovely update OP. Best wishes

I'm under no impression it's fixed. It takes work. But we will get there

With your new attitude, I have no doubt. What a lovely update. Enjoy him.

Read almost all this thread as there's so many great tips.

Lovely to read your update at the end OP, I feel almost identical to you about my DS who is almost 4. He can be such a little shit (sorry to those pearl clutchers but it's true) and I absolutely don't always deal with him well. I too suffer with anxiety and ended up finally taking my prescribed Sertraline which has worked wonders for my mood. I'm still working on my relationship and handling of my DS, but it's certainly improved my outlook on life as I felt like running away, like you.

Please carry on updating us as your approach is exactly what I need to do more of. I'm in the middle of reading How to talk so little kids will listen which I think is helpful, and I'm also going to read the Explosive Child which the GP recommended to me.

What a lovely thread! I've just read it all in one go, and you've been amazing, OP! I love how open you've been to advice and ideas.

There are obviously going to be setbacks now and again, but please don't let them put you off your stride. Keep doing what you're doing, keep calm when things go awry, and get positive again as soon as possible. You're already seeing the difference that makes.