All fur coat and no knickers

[TitaniaQueenOfTheFairies]

And

She was all over him like a cheap suit! (Someone being very flirty)

This is very below below the belt but...

Tighter than a nun's cunt

Sorry!

Some more very crude ones...

She's had more pricks than a pin cushion, that one!

Her face was like a plasterer's radio after he'd finished with her (similar to the bomb in a yogurt factory one above)

"I've been up and down more times than a whores knickers"

"Smells like a tarts boudoir in 'ere"

"Tighter than a ducks arse" meaning tight fisted.

The lights are on but nobody's home (someone very dim)

It went down like a shit sandwich (ie not very well)

As much use as a rubber hammer (ie useless)

He's tighter than two coats of paint (mean)

He's rougher than a badger's arse / robber's dog (rough!)

Face like a clog heel (ugly)

He's got a face I would never tire of slapping (about someone who is highly irritating)

It's better than a kick up the arse (ie be grateful)

I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him (ie not very far)

He thinks he's the best thing since sliced bread

He thinks he's the dog's bollocks

If that's true, I'll show my arse on the town hall steps (ie someone is exaggerating)

Up and down like a bride’s nightie
All fur coat and no knickers
You could ride bare-arsed to London on that knife! (of a blunt knife).

I've seen more meat on a butcher's apron (referring to someone very skinny)

All mouth and no trousers (cocky)

Arse like a bag of spanners.

His breath could strip paint (bad breath)

Well, bugger me with a bat! (to express surprise)

Six o'clock and not a child in the house washed (when you're a bit behind with things).

One eye going to the shop and the other coming back with the change.

Eee! The sights you see when you haven't got a gun! (Said this very evening when I turned around at bedtime to see DH's bare arse bending over as he was getting ready for bed! He was NOT impressed!)

A face like an arse pocket full of spanners.

If that's true, I'll plait sawdust / knit fog (when someone is exaggerating)

I wouldn't do that for a gold clock (about something you really don't want to do)

She looks like a ten pound turkey in a five pound bag (ie dress is far too tight)

Happy as a pig in shit

A face like a torn clog (ugly)

I bet she's flattened some grass in her time

She could talk a glass eye to sleep (a chatterbox)

Like pissing in the wind

All Gong and No dinner

You couldn't trot a Mouse across that ( weak Tea or coffee)