All fur coat and no knickers

[TitaniaQueenOfTheFairies]

And

Some of these are great, like previous poster said, awful but still funny (I'm waiting for someone to get offended though!)..
Another one said to someone with large sticking out teeth...
She could eat a pasty though a tennis racket.

Thank you NightLion

I also bring you....."I wouldn't go with him if his cock was hung with diamonds"

😁

Peas above sticks

"Bread and pull it" when asking my Nan what was for dinner. It took me a while to realise that "pull it" wasn't some culinary delight.

My messy house
And when they got to the bottom...they stove their face in with a shovel

Two cars on the drive and bugger all in the fridge.

Face like a camels' scrotum - ugly person
and
Ambition certainly outweighs your intelligence - gob shite

"Bread and pull it" when asking my Nan what was for dinner. It took me a while to realise that "pull it" wasn't some culinary delight.

Depending on her mood my nan would either say:

Two jumps at the cupboard door and a bite of the knob

Or

Shit, Shite & Sugar / shit with hair on

You make your bed you lie in it.

Another one said to someone with large sticking out teeth...
She could eat a pasty though a tennis racket

Apple through a letterbox is the one I know

My parents say ‘kippers and curtains’

Pullet is a bird isn’t it? Chicken?

Duckshit and lard.... said by my Gran when asked what's for dinner.
All posh cars but bread and scrape for dinner and the tally man wins ....also one of my Grans.
All net curtains and no knickers....one of my Mums

Haha @MarianaMoatedGrange, my favourite used to be 'I wouldn't shag him with a body condom on'
Another one we used to say was 'you don't look at the mantle peice when your poking the fire' in reference to sleeping with someone ugly.

Or 'better than a poke in the eye with a shitty stick' which I'll say to the kids if something wasnt as good as they'd expected.

Or 'shes got some neck for a giraffe' on about cheeky fuckers.

'He fell in a bucket of tits and came out sucking his thumb' about men who dont know what they're doing in the sack I think.

Two cars up the drive fuck all in the fridge

Hit every branch falling out of the ugly tree

Red shoes no knickers

My nan would say of a blunt knife "you could ride bare arsed to London on that".

Kippers and curtains.

All teeth, no trousers (about smarmy men).

You look like you've lost a shilling, and found a penny.

As per pp, "No better than she ought to be".

Funny, reading these now, so many of then are judging, especially judging women.

@Anthilda - yes, and wouldn't touch him with a barge pole!

Up and down like a bride’s nightie.

All lace curtains no drawers
Smells like a pox doctors clerk in here (for cheap perfume)
Face like a bag of smashed crabs
(This one I've not heard since school, apologies it's vile)...knickers like a Grimsby trawler