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Original poster

WWYD - Feel so betrayed

437 replies

sausageandchips007 · 25/10/2019 17:17

Need some advice please.

We moved house and applied for a school place for our DC - due to circumstances we had to rent, though we ensured we met all the criteria and it was by no means a short term let. We are in this house for at least 2 years and ideally we are looking to buy once those 2 years are up or will just carry on renting where we are.

We came to know that someone wrote a letter to the school telling them that we had given false information and that we had no intention of staying in the area. The school did their investigations with us and found that we had complied with all the criteria etc.

We asked to see a copy of the letter under DPA 2018 and I have just received it. It was handwritten and matches very closely with my best friend. It also had content in it about things which only she knew. She has just asked us to be legal guardians for her 2 DC and her and her DH's power of attorney.

WWYD?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Duckswaddle · 25/10/2019 20:11

They don’t look the same handwriting to me either, I don’t think it’s your friend.
By all means bring it up with her and gauge her reaction, but don’t do it in a confrontational way; more of a “you won’t believe what’s happened” kind of way. Liars are always quite easy to catch, especially if you know them well.

peachgreen · 25/10/2019 20:11

They look quite different to me.

poppinpink · 25/10/2019 20:11

Hmm I don't think they are the same either although they are quite similar. The word 'to' is written differently in the card and the letter, along with a few other letters that stand out for me.

Gobbolino7825 · 25/10/2019 20:13

I don't think it's your friend. The writing is too different. Why would you even suspect her of doing something so awful to you? What sort of friend does that make you??

You need to be prepared for your friendship to be over if you're wrong about this and accuse her.

Hecateh · 25/10/2019 20:13

I don't think they look alike. The 'f' as others have said is very different. I've not looked closely at many other letters.

I second a PP, don't say you have the letter, but first talk about 'someone' having written a letter and then that you have asked for the letter. I think you will get your answer.

pongopig · 25/10/2019 20:14

I don’t think it the same person’s writing. I think you will be making a big mistake if you accuse your friend.

MunchMunch · 25/10/2019 20:16

The 'n' in 'and' and the 'm' looks the same.

Very similar style to my writing so there's at least two us us that writes like that but I would also be convinced it was bf especially with the level of detail in the letter. Sorry op Sad

JustOneLastThing · 25/10/2019 20:17

If it looks like a rat etc etc.

marvellousnightforamooncup · 25/10/2019 20:17

I take it back. The writing is similar but the fs and ts are different.

ConfCall · 25/10/2019 20:18

What’s her motive though? She does not live in catchment.

Tell her that you’ve sent off for a photocopy of the letter under FOI. Miss out that it will be anonymised. Assess her reaction.

msmith501 · 25/10/2019 20:20

Let your friend know that you are upset about the lies in the letter - as is the school - and that jointly you have decided to have the letter analysed and investigated. Say no more and see watch she says.

DriftingLeaves · 25/10/2019 20:21

I really don't think it's the same person.

crustycrab · 25/10/2019 20:21

Hmm. It's similar but not the same. You seem hung up on the "full address" thing. Anyone who has seen you walk into the house has your full address, neighbours or friends of neighbours that want a place at the school.

What has she said about the fact you've been investigated in the lead up to you being given this letter?

crustycrab · 25/10/2019 20:23

The Vs are completely different

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 25/10/2019 20:24

I think the two pieces of handwriting look very similar, but as pp have said, many people use that style of handwriting. Also, about the level of information in the letter - how can she be the only person to know your "full" address - surely anyone could look you up and find it on-line, on the electoral roll or Royal Mail website, or even on google maps? In your shoes, I would be seriously tempted to go to a handwriting expert first, before accusing anyone! Also, was the letter to the school anonymous, or are they not obliged to give you the name of your accuser if they have it, under the DPA 2018 or FOI Act?

mankyfourthtoe · 25/10/2019 20:26

Is she jealous, have you moved onwards and upwards, would your children go to the same school if your didn't get in to this new school?

kateandme · 25/10/2019 20:30

no they look different to me.i thought so straight away.

BlueEyedBengal · 25/10/2019 20:34

The and and more look the same but there is some differences in the rest but only slightly. If it's not her then do you think a close relation to her or maybe she has trued to alter it slightly. I would talk about what happened and ask her what she thought about why anyone would do such a thing in a non confronting way and study how she reacts and how she answers that will give away if she's anxious or uneasy or if she's upset for you either way guilty people react subconsciously I hope you are wrong as this if you are right is a great big betrayal and a friend lost.

Baboutheocelot · 25/10/2019 20:35

I don’t think it’s the same handwriting, the letters f and t are different.

Could someone who knew all these details have told a friend or acquaintance about you?

OatyGoaty · 25/10/2019 20:38

I hate to say this but you must have had a little bit of doubt to even consider your best friend would do that. Is there a back story at all?

Original poster
sausageandchips007 · 25/10/2019 20:39

Whoever wrote that letter had a lot of information on us. Our previous addresses, how long we had lived there, our DC's school, the specific length of tenancy, other schools we had applied to.

Not the kind of information a neighbour who had seen us walking into our house would know and actually we didn't discuss this with many people at all.

We haven't mentioned the enquiry to anyone yet, we were waiting for the letter to come through.

OP posts:
Muddledfeelings · 25/10/2019 20:42

The writing isn't exact, but then nor is mine. However, I feel there are enough subtle similarities for it to be the same author.

If you really cannot think of anyone else with the same knowledge of your situation then it must be her.

C0untDucku1a · 25/10/2019 20:46

Id also tell her youve requested the letter. See what happens then.

PopeHalloweerious · 25/10/2019 20:49

I would not have said they were the same person at all from the handwriting.

Smellbellina · 25/10/2019 20:50

It’s not the same handwriting at all, and some of the things you are saying only she could know are actually easy enough for people to find out if they want to.

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