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Original poster

WWYD - Feel so betrayed

437 replies

sausageandchips007 · 25/10/2019 17:17

Need some advice please.

We moved house and applied for a school place for our DC - due to circumstances we had to rent, though we ensured we met all the criteria and it was by no means a short term let. We are in this house for at least 2 years and ideally we are looking to buy once those 2 years are up or will just carry on renting where we are.

We came to know that someone wrote a letter to the school telling them that we had given false information and that we had no intention of staying in the area. The school did their investigations with us and found that we had complied with all the criteria etc.

We asked to see a copy of the letter under DPA 2018 and I have just received it. It was handwritten and matches very closely with my best friend. It also had content in it about things which only she knew. She has just asked us to be legal guardians for her 2 DC and her and her DH's power of attorney.

WWYD?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
AnuvvaMuvva · 07/11/2019 19:13

Has she got a sister? Handwriting can be very similar within a family. (My writing is scarily similar to my mum's.)

It's got to be someone who really, really dislikes you and/or has lost out to a school place because of this issue.

What about the landlady? Next-door neighbour? Jealous mum friend?

Someone your friend knows, and maybe someone she told about your plans.

Candle1000 · 07/11/2019 19:14

AnuvvaMuvva read the thread

EKGEMS · 07/11/2019 19:17

Holy shit even when confronted with the evidence she lies and deflects her motives like a naughty child vs an adult. She could've broken down and told you what ever her twisted reasoning but nope she refused to own up. What a back stabbing bitch

LynetteScavo · 07/11/2019 19:45

I can only imagine she's jealous of you.

BendyLikeBeckham · 07/11/2019 20:50

wow, I'm shocked. What a bitch. The betrayal is pure spite.

CupoTeap · 07/11/2019 21:19

Shock I was in the 'not her camp'

I'm pleased you've been able to get to the truth however unpleasant.

DM1209 · 07/11/2019 21:33

OP, so very sorry that is has been confirmed. Someone else on my team that we regularly instruct is a Consultant Psychiatrist. His take on it is she has a hero complex. She had nothing to gain with you not getting your preferred school place other than you crying on her shoulder and making her feel important and needed. My expert (I have a lot of them and my handwriting guy was right with his analysis of your samples), believes she has a very low self esteem and she wants to feel like she matters and in some instances, only she can 'be there' for you and no one else will do.
He says if you go back through the lifetime of your relationship then you'll be able to piece together other incidents that have perhaps not been overt as this but have left you distraught and she's 'been there to pick up the pieces.'

Just take your time and think before you take your next step.

mankyfourthtoe · 07/11/2019 22:00

Wow @DM1209 that's scary

EL2019 · 07/11/2019 22:12

Bloody hell DM1209 that’s some insight into her mind. OP I hope you’re ok. Feeling that you’ve been totally wrong about someone you thought was a close friend must feel so unsettling. Please look after yourself.

ladyme · 07/11/2019 22:32

I thought the writing was similar enough too - though I only read the thread today. I went and got some notes from a workshop I went to today and the letter formation changes a a lot from the beginning of the page to the end - and something like lots of love I think I self styled at about the age of 12, so the 'f' would always be different to the one I use for taking notes at work - and I imagine if I was going to write a nasty letter, not that I'd know as I've never seen the need to write one.

@sausageandchips007 I'm glad you know where you stand now, though I imagine that is of no comfort to you. I"ve also had a friend who liked me better when I was low, and while I don't think she ever put me in that situation, it was horrible when I realised that was why she'd been so distant when things were going well for us. I went through our friendship in my head and then back over emails and texts and realised that while I thought she was really caring, it really was only when things were shit. Not nice.

I hope your DC do well in school and everything works out well.

PurpleViolin · 07/11/2019 22:34

Bloody hell

InglouriousBasterd · 07/11/2019 22:49

Shock that’s crazy. So sorry OP

SkiingIsHeaven · 07/11/2019 23:04

The 'F' is too different

Kneeknee · 07/11/2019 23:13

Makes you wonder what other sabotage she's done.

Interesting about the hero complex as op said.

FetchezLaVache · 07/11/2019 23:13

@SkiingIsHeaven do try to keep up!! The friend has admitted she did it.

Smelborp · 07/11/2019 23:15

That’s pretty bad OP. No matter how good your friendship could be, you’d always know that behind the scenes something else is going on with her and that side of her would act maliciously against you.

Kneeknee · 07/11/2019 23:16

Meant to write as a previous poster said. This behaviour is quite frankly terrifying. People going out of their way to mess up your life.

titnomatani · 07/11/2019 23:21

I knew it. The writing was too similar for it to have been another person. Sorry OP but at least now you know- this woman is not a friend or only willing to be a friend on her terms. Move on. Glad her husband showed some dignity, even if she didn't.

Sweetpeach3 · 07/11/2019 23:29

This is no doubt your "best friend" the p in hope is identical and the "e"s are the same also. What a bitch she is
I wouldn't be able to hold my own an ask her outright what she thought of the letter. Get her response an then be like well if that's how you feel the fuck did you do it to me ????? Argh I'm angry for you

RagingBall · 07/11/2019 23:29

Wow - I'm sorry OP. It sounds like she's not the person you thought/hoped she was. Do you think you'll be able to move on from this?

CallMeRachel · 08/11/2019 07:53

Cancel the cheque Grin please rtft people - it was the bf

I'm sorry op, better to have this frienemy unveiled now rather than later. I don't see how there could ever be a possibility if getting past this with her.

Even if you were willing to forgive, it'll always be in the back of your mind that she used what you shared with her against you and tried to damage your family's life.

Unbelievable and unforgivable imo.

ShatnersWig · 08/11/2019 08:10

This reply has been deleted

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WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 08/11/2019 12:51

I asked earlier if it was usual practice to supply this information (the actual clearly identifiable original letters) to someone who has had a claim made against them - what would happen if someone reported someone to social services and then was identified? Risky surely.

I see also the school rather than the council investigated this and supplied the information, which is also unusual, perhaps this is why this situation has come about?

It really is an unbelievable situation to be in.

Cassandrainthenight · 08/11/2019 15:12

Webuilt

Two of our nearest schools - when we moved we discovered one you apply to the council for the place, the other to the school direct. One you make out all the cheques to the council, the other to the school.
Both C of E schools, but there was some difference in description/wording of how much they are controlled by the C of E.

Also, most people would have sent a printed letter, so I imagine identification doesn't come into it, if there's any guidance it probably doesn't even take into account that someone still handwrites, esp if they don't want to be identified.
What are the chances for OP is to have identified anything had it not been her BFF's handwriting....

CoraPirbright · 11/11/2019 13:12

How are you OP? Has your (ex) BF been in touch?

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