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Original poster

WWYD - Feel so betrayed

437 replies

sausageandchips007 · 25/10/2019 17:17

Need some advice please.

We moved house and applied for a school place for our DC - due to circumstances we had to rent, though we ensured we met all the criteria and it was by no means a short term let. We are in this house for at least 2 years and ideally we are looking to buy once those 2 years are up or will just carry on renting where we are.

We came to know that someone wrote a letter to the school telling them that we had given false information and that we had no intention of staying in the area. The school did their investigations with us and found that we had complied with all the criteria etc.

We asked to see a copy of the letter under DPA 2018 and I have just received it. It was handwritten and matches very closely with my best friend. It also had content in it about things which only she knew. She has just asked us to be legal guardians for her 2 DC and her and her DH's power of attorney.

WWYD?

OP posts:
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7
PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 25/10/2019 20:52

Just invite her round for a cup of tea and when she says “how are you” make sure you answer with “pretty stressed. Some absolute shithawk has reported us to the school as they’re under the impression we only moved for a place. I actually can’t believe anyone would stoop so low”.

You WILL be able to gauge her reaction and that should clarify matters.

crustycrab · 25/10/2019 20:53

Interested as to how your landlord imposed a 2 year tenancy on you but that aside the other things are really easy to find out. I'd tell her about it and check her reaction and then produce the letter

Youreterriblemuriel99 · 25/10/2019 20:59

They are very similar but I don’t think it’s the same person. I also know a few people with a writing style very similar to this.

I expect that she’s been chatting about you to family/ other friends and somehow they are linked with your school and got the wrong end of the stick.

I would mention it but as a PP said, in a “you won’t believe what happened way”. I really don’t see how she would have anything to gain if she did it herself and it’s untrue anyway.

FlashesOfRage · 25/10/2019 20:59

I read the handwriting of more than a hundred people per week.

These two samples are absolutely not the same person.

Report maker has a squat round style with short backs on her “d’s”, slanted verticals on many letters, no loops on letters (angular L for instance), shallow and narrow hooks under “g’s” and “y’s”.

You will be making a terrible mistake if you ever so much as breathe a word that you suspected this could be your best friend.

quincejamplease · 25/10/2019 21:01

It's really easy to find someone's current address and their address history.

It's just as plausible that one of the people who knew some of the less public details mentioned it to someone else - whether as gossip or innocently in passing - or was overheard and it sparked something off in that third person who then started digging.

quincejamplease · 25/10/2019 21:02

Oh and these two samples look markedly different to me.

quincejamplease · 25/10/2019 21:03

If she's on mumsnet though she's going to know you think it was her soon enough...

NewUsernameSameMe · 25/10/2019 21:08

Ask her to do a hand written character reference or letter of support for you/your husband/one of your children for something. Maybe say you are going forward for some volunteer work or your child is joining a club with a long waiting list or something along those lines? You can see if the layout of the letter is similar and see if the hand writing seems even more alike when not purposely trying to write neat for a card.

My hand writing in a card is much better than y hand writing when writing more than a few sentences. I write both joined up and not joined up. There are so many similarities between your friend's cards and the letter, - the first one I clocked was the H.

Some people make themselves feel better by knocking others down. l Mostly out of jealousy I presume. Sadly I'm talking from experience with this, I have recently distanced myself from a friend who was my best friend when it came to supporting and helping her, however was awful when it came to me needing support or doing well.

MartiniDry · 25/10/2019 21:09

Sausage, does your friend have a sister or sister in law?

I think there are too many dissimilarities in the handwriting but it does suggest someone of a similar age to the card writer. Something tells me that it looks like a woman's hand but that's based on the differences in the two sexes of my age and may not be the case for younger people.

I'm asking about a sister or sister-in-law as they'd likely be of a similar age to your friend and a sister may have similar handwriting. Added to that, a close family member of that type could easily have been told the details of your move.

Kaddm · 25/10/2019 21:10

I think you need to tackle this head on.

The writing contains many similarities but also differences. I think a handwiting expert might say inconclusive so wouldn't bother with that. Her writing is actually quite haphazard. In the birthday card, the letter d appears 3 times and each time the letter is different, although the body of the letter always goes anticlockwise. If I was forced to say yes/no, I'd say yes she did it.

I'd invite her over, show her the copy of the letter and ask her who she told the leisure centre information to because you want to know who did this. I'd use the words, "some evil bastard tried to destroy our lives" Her reaction will tell you if she did it.

pegspurplecat · 25/10/2019 21:11

It isn't, but the writing on the card looks like mine! I don't think the writing in the letter looks that similar.

It is amazing what people find out about you when you think they barely know you, so I wouldn't be so quick to blame your friend.

Candle1000 · 25/10/2019 21:11

I don’t think the letter was written by your friend . I would talk to her , don’t accuse her but tell her about the contents of the letter, she may have an ‘oh god’ moment if she has spoken to someone about your situation who has then written to the school.

WWYD - Feel so betrayed
Candle1000 · 25/10/2019 21:14

Posted the wrong picture

WWYD - Feel so betrayed
Bluntness100 · 25/10/2019 21:21

So who else knew op? You keep saying not that "many" people, but between you, your husband and the kids, how many people is that exactly?

And if you're wrong that will also destroy your kids. Not just if you're right.

PicsInRed · 25/10/2019 21:33

Both female, possibly similar age, different writers.

Does your friend have a sister, close cousin?

"False data" is an interesting phrase. Does your friend have a friend or family member working in IT or scientific research areas, or similar?

MoreProseccoNow · 25/10/2019 21:41

I think they are very similar but not the same person.

More likely to be a neighbour, or disgruntled parent at the school.

DM1209 · 25/10/2019 21:44

Evening, legal eagle here meaning because of my line of work I have lots of lovely experts in various fields in my contacts.

Just sent your 2 examples to a handwriting expert, we instruct this expert often in cases of fraud, and he is certain (without swearing an oath!) that both documents have been written by the same person.

I think it's time for a conversation with her. I am very, very sorry this has happened to you.

Disfordarkchocolate · 25/10/2019 21:46

They look very similar but not unique, they are both a style writing I have seen before. I'd definitely show her the letter next time she was at your house.

ProfessorSlocombe · 25/10/2019 21:50

The person that wrote the letter may not be the person that sent the letter ....

CaraConcerned · 25/10/2019 21:53

This reply has been deleted

Deleted at OP's request

Ozziewozzie · 25/10/2019 21:56

I’d say they are written by the same person. Although they are not exact replicas of each other, the letter was clearly written with negative emotion which would alter the exact style, not to mention the letter had length and most of us tend to write more quickly when writing a letter compared to a card message. We tend to take more care with our writing in a card. With that in mind, I’d say they are by the same person.
She wouldn’t be the first person to be all smiles in the surface (to cover resentment)

GodammitGreg · 25/10/2019 21:57

What do you mean professor ?

Accountant222 · 25/10/2019 21:58

I think they are written by the same person, good god why would anyone be so peevish to send that?

Daaps · 25/10/2019 22:01

There are enough similarities to think it could be the same person but enough differences that it may not be. Loads of people write like that. None of the info you think your friend is the only person who knows is exactly top secret and you can get a ton of info from social media and google. Your “full address” you can get from google maps or postcode finder. Your previous address the same, or if they weren’t sure exactly where it is look at recently sold or newly rented on rightmove or after asking a few innocent sounding questions. Are either you or dp self employed? Your address will be online with company house? Ever applied for planning permission? The application will be online at the council. Changing leisure centres is not classified info. It’s a public place, people will have seen you. If your kids are going to activities there then I guess there are other kids there in the same academic year, with parents who can see you. “Details” of your other dc will be out in the world. They will have friends who have neighbours and cousins and friends who they talk to. Six degrees of separation is all it takes. All sounds a bit crazy but anyone who writes a handwritten note to school on the back of hearing that there sons friend form judo’s neighbours cousin is getting a school place even though they are only in that house until they buy a different one is crazy enough to google a few details.

feelinghelplesstoday · 25/10/2019 22:10

OP the "f" is completely different style. I really don't think they're the same x