WWYD - Feel so betrayed

[sausageandchips007]

Need some advice please.

We moved house and applied for a school place for our DC - due to circumstances we had to rent, though we ensured we met all the criteria and it was by no means a short term let. We are in this house for at least 2 years and ideally we are looking to buy once those 2 years are up or will just carry on renting where we are.

We came to know that someone wrote a letter to the school telling them that we had given false information and that we had no intention of staying in the area. The school did their investigations with us and found that we had complied with all the criteria etc.

We asked to see a copy of the letter under DPA 2018 and I have just received it. It was handwritten and matches very closely with my best friend. It also had content in it about things which only she knew. She has just asked us to be legal guardians for her 2 DC and her and her DH's power of attorney.

WWYD?

Just read the update.

Speechless.

Oh, no. I'm sorry. I was one of those who thought you couldn't tell from the writing, but I guess the uncertainty was too difficult. Not judging you for that, by the way. However, the knowledge you ended up gaining was probably even more painful, and for that I'm sorry, too. Once she acted, you couldn't really win.

What on earth was she thinking. No wonder you feel betrayed.

At the moment I flit between sadness and anger. I felt numb for a few days and then the tears started. I just can't believe how things have worked out.

@DM1209 thank you for showing it to your contact. It was that nudge that prompted me to get it checked out officially. I do appreciate it. I am quite frankly terrified at the consultant pysch analysis. I've told her DH I don't want her anywhere near our home or my DC. If she's capable of doing this in a 'moment of madness', what else is she capable of?

If this has taught me anything it's to trust your gut instinct.

Just before she walked into the house her husband said he just couldn't believe she would do this. Within 5 minutes she had confessed to it. I feel for him right now.

Her DH wants to meet up to discuss and I know we need to, if anything to get our names of the public register as their power of attorney. Also to work out how to proceed with the children who are very close and will no doubt be planning Christmas get togethers.

oh OP, im so sorry shes betrayed you like this. I think give it time. Allow the children to remain friends, but never tell her a damn thing ever again Just back away from her

OP I feel for you so much. I had a best friend of many years who was godparent to my children and very involved in our lives, and I found out in 2017 that she secretly despised me, deep down.

I only found out when I was walking into hospital for an operation and received the most spiteful and nasty text message from her. It was all about me and how pathetic I am - she had meant to send it to her DM but mistakenly sent it to me instead.

Then events unfolded and I found out that she had been bad mouthing me to others for years and even anonymously complained to my manager about me. I cut her off completely and haven't spoken to her since but still get upset about it all the time and wonder how I could have been so blind.

Oh op I really hoped the gut instinct was wrong for you sake and the DC as it's going to be hard for you all and their friends. But atLeast you've found out an wasn't staying friends with such an evil bitch! Hope your okay xx

In the short term her DH could still drop and collect their DC from your house so they can see each other.

Over time you can choose to let it drift apart.

Of course you are tearful and upset OP.

You are grieving and will for a long time.

You loved your friend very much, of course you are absolutely devastated.

I can understand how you feel so bad for her husband. He must be gutted to know his wife is capable of something so vicious and nasty, unprovoked, towards a good family friend.

I bet he must be😲 and wonder does he know her at all.

You need to take care of yourself first.

Re the children, you can back away with child appropriate information, that while they are still friends, ye won't be seeing so much of them and that sometimes adult relationships are complicated.

Try filling the time with some other activities and friends.

This is neither going to be easy or painless.

Your ex friend has really done something very wrong.

I can imagine wrestling with can we move forward from this, but in this instance I imagine it would be impossible.

It's just so mean.

Wishing you the best 💐

Are there other clues looking back, like the psych mentioned?

OP, are you worried your friend has been sabotaging you and your family's life in other respects without you being aware about it?
Are there any other problems which have happened or nearly happened which now make you wonder if it could be traced back to her?
I "hope" her mental issue was more about fixating on pulling kids out of schools and she might have succeeded more than once, rather than sabotaging those close to her in various other ways too...

Gosh it's scary to think how far back she could have been interfering and causing drama.