What do you ACTUALLY judge mothers on?

[Ketomeato]

Inspired by the child in the buggy thread, I realised I hardly judge anything really, mainly because I have an unruly child with additional needs so in our house, pretty much anything goes. You have to be kind, and you have to wear pants. And that’s it.

What does anyone actually judge about, regarding parents with young children?

Oh public nappy changes. Give the kid some privacy - there’s usually somewhere private/sheltered. I don’t want to see poo and wee.

Smoking near them

Not a lot.
Pushing a pram while smoking and having them in the pub I judge.

I find it hard to see past smoking while pregnant or around children, but I don’t know the circumstances to be fair.

Sending their kids to school/birthday parties then breezily announcing little Tommy has been throwing up all night and has the shits.

Smacking

Using the kid as a weapon against ex (when they admit other parent isnt abusive/neglectful)

Putting new partners first/moving new partners into their home with their kids after 4 weeks (looking at you ex's new gf )

Other than that I am totally not judgy

And heavy drinking around them too.

I don’t judge smoking.
Just the really awful stuff, hitting and swearing.

Smoking, excessive swearing around young children, and changing nappies where people are eating.

And not having them in at least a basic age appropriate car seat.

I try not to judge IRL but DM and I judge Mercedes McQueen in Hollyoaks a lot

I was about to say nothing but actually I probably do judge both those things, or a potty in a public place.

I try and not judge at all - I'm a young mum expecting my second and I'm sure I get judged as a stereotype all of the time and wouldn't want anyone to feel the same.

However...
I can't help but judge the mums that smoke walking with their child, especially the ones pushing a pushchair/pram (and don't get me started on the ones with a bump still smoking).

Not sure. There is a Dad on the bus every morning who talks so loudly to his daughter, always educating her. He is so self-consciously middle class it is horrible. Sometimes his wife is on bus and she is nearly as bad but not quite. The recently had another baby so now we passengers have another few years of listenning to their tedious active parenting cabaret put on partly because they believe the passengers find them adorable. 😩

Mothers who talk down to their children all the time. I work in a supermarket and hear it a lot

‘No not those crisps. God can you ever do anything right?!’

‘All you ever do is do my head in you know that right?!’

‘Fucking useless the pair of you!’

Are a few I’ve heard this past week or so. All said to sweet looking kids who look utterly crestfallen.

I’ve always tried very very hard to differentiate the behaviour that I don’t like from my child which I do.

@MonstranceClock would you judge a parent with child in a pub during the day? Not being goady as genuinely interested. I often meet my friends with our LO’s in a pub. We don’t drink it’s just convenient

Dirty. Properly dirty not just top dirt.
Smoking when pregnant.
Swearing at children. Plenty of things I wouldn’t do but aren’t harmful so don’t judge those.

Juice in bottles, smoking in car or close proximity to kids. Not letting kids get dirty and putting stupidity massive/uncomfortable bows/shite in kids hair (no objection to ‘pretty’ items as long as it doesn’t affect kids comfort or play). Know a few people who feed their kids complete shite yet are conscientious about their own health and diets and I do judge them. I think that’s about it. This thread won’t go well op!

Mothers who kiss their teeth at their children- or ignore them when their kids try to speak to them- lovely observations on London buses

Whether they let their kids use one of those mini-trolleys in the supermarket to barge into me with.

Same as others

Smoking around them.

My grandfather owns a pub, so I take my son in there regularly to see him, I do judge the parents that are there every Saturday all day with the children! He has a few regulars that do this, I think it's totally unfair on the children.

Other than that I'm very much live and let live, most parents are doing the best they can with what they know.

I judge sustained shit parenting - where someone is snapping at the child, reacting disproportionately etc and I see them often enough to surmise that it isn't a circumstantial thing.

When the child is misbehaving and the parent says "Tommy, if you do that again we are leaving!" and then Tommy does it again and the parent does... nothing. Either don't threaten or carry out your threat ffs.

Parents who accept party invite then can't be bothered turning up with child.. Even when know its price per head, expensive, prepaid and you sent a reminder and offered lift if anyone needed it etc
Fine if child sick.. Otherwise its really not IMO

Another one for smoking. And Baby Bjorns

A lot, but I won,t list them hear. I think we find our selves as parents doing the very things we judge others on or said we would not do. And as we judge away there also judging us.