What do you ACTUALLY judge mothers on?

[Ketomeato]

Inspired by the child in the buggy thread, I realised I hardly judge anything really, mainly because I have an unruly child with additional needs so in our house, pretty much anything goes. You have to be kind, and you have to wear pants. And that’s it.

What does anyone actually judge about, regarding parents with young children?

@whattodo2019 what do you see as 'hideous' children's names? - just out of curiosity!

Turns out I’m a lot judgier than I thought I was!

I judge people pretty hard for:

• not having their kids in sensible car seats
• never reading with their kids

I judge vaguely for:

• not having kids in weather-appropriate clothes
• I think that’s it tbh

Tea in a bottle

Taking little babies to nail bars where the air is full of chemicals and acrylic dust - awful place for a baby

Oh yes definitely babies with pierced ears! They are not old enough to make their own decision.
Untreated head lice. A mother came into my place of work with a child whose hair was literally moving with head lice, her scalp was excoriated from the child scratching so much. Mum said it wasn’t worth treating the lice because they just came back. That poor child.

2+ year olds in nappies

Aside from the fact the majority of children these days aren’t out of nappies on their second birthday (and a significant number also aren’t on their third), and this is considered perfectly fine by many paediatricians, child development professionals and early years educators... I’ve one preschool DC with ASD (diagnosed) and if you met them on the street, you’d have absolutely no idea whatsoever that they’re not NT - but I bet you’d spot the nappy.

Go and question yourself.

Swearing at little kids is beyond the pale, as is letting them shriek and run about the supermarket at high speed chasing each other while you ignore them.

Parents who don't vaccinate healthy children...Smoking around little ones...swearing AT young children...young children on laps in cars...fizzy drinks in bottles for babies (not ever seen this but I would judge if I did!)...hitting or grabbing a child roughly unless they're in danger. I think that's about it!

Letting your feral brat crawl around on the floor in changing rooms, and looking underneath the curtains into other people's cubicles.

People who drag children through their lives as though they were an accessory or an afterthought.

Parents who refuse to vaccinate

Parents who smoke or allow people to smoke around their child/ren

People who get drunk with their children present

People who think it is fine to take and or have illegal drugs in their home

That’s it - I’m not perfect by any stretch of the imagination but I’m trying.

Smoking.
Mum's on mobile phones with children being ignored.
Toddlers with dummies.

Smoking
Pierced ears, and no I don’t care if it’s cultural, lots of other barbaric practices exist in the name of culture and we don’t tolerate those so this is no different.

Swearing at or in front of.

@Venger

"
I'm reading through them and compiling a mental list of all the judgemental arseholes...."

Irony not your strong point then?

Everyone judges. It's human nature.

What makes you a decent person is how you act (or not) on your feelings.

There was a mum at school who I used to chat too. Went on and on about getting a new coat for the school run and how it had to be warm, how she’d had to get her mum to get the one she wanted for her and post it.
Her own children were wearing flimsy macs all winter. The smallest one was crying one day because they were cold. It was snowing.
I judged her hard.

I see a lot of parents in big coats, gloves, hats with children in prams half undressed and no blanket looking blue. Dicks

Smoking. Especially at the school gates.
Babies out and about without a hat (in cold weather). Just because you’re not cold doesn’t mean the baby won’t be

I judge parents who treat their children as an inconvenience, like the parents I knew who left a 3 week old baby with the grandparents so they could go on holiday with their mates.

I judge parents who have more children than they have the energy and resources to support.

I judge parents who give their children “unique” names that will plague them for life.

Smoking over a pushchair/while holding baby/toddler.
What a PP said she hears in the supermarket, that makes me sad
I think that's it

I see a lot of parents in big coats, gloves, hats with children in prams half undressed and no blanket looking blue.

I think, at least, you should look for signs of a bazillion layers of discarded blankets and clothing layers in and around the pram

Parents who refuse to vaccinate because they think some shares on Facebook constitutes research.

Swearing and being cruel to children

Making silly empty threats about how "the creepy man will get you / the doctor will give you a needle / the policeman will tell you off if you... / The lady/man (see 17 year old Saturday worker) will tell you off" Take responsibility and please, please stop using emergency services and other adults as your sanctions.

People who laugh and encourage bad behaviour in public. It's not funny if your child is tearing around Costa like a play area, tell them to sit down before someone gets scalded. If your child is running around the shop or acting up then do something instead of laughing and saying "boys will be boys" to your mate.

Smoking and excess drinking around children.

Can I also add people who claim "I only judge those who are judgemental"? It really amuses me on MN how many pious human beings there are on here who claim they'd never be the tiniest bit irritated by screaming and running in a cafe, whose first reaction to a child being told "I'll give you a slap if you don't shut the fuck up" is aww poor parent they must have had a really bad day that nobody else can understand instead of "how appalling to swear and threaten a child, they'd never see a choice commonly accepted as negative and think it's negative etc. It must be hard being so nauseatingly twee and liberal that not an ounce of judgement ever crossed their mind in any situation.

Seeing dirty, hungry, smelly neglected children, eating shit food and wearing shit threadbare clothes, whilst their mother smokes and gambles her way through yet another pregnancy. Its grim, and a self fulfilling prophecy because the poor kids will do it all over again as adults with their own children.

Smoking around kids
Feeding them shite (like the lady giving her toddler a whole bottle of fizzy bright blue juice today)
No car seats
Speaking badly to them (not as a one off but swearing in general language) I hate that!
Inappropriately dressed for the weather - no shoes/coat in buggy when it's frosty etc!
Kids out late when they should be home in bed long ago

Hmm there is quite a list it seems

I dont judge the clothing so much, maybe that's because my DD has hats gloves etc. They just end up whipped off in a second. She will keep her hood up though, so I suppose il be judged for raising a future hooligan 🤔

Some reasons are ridiculous tbh. I agree with the big ones with smoking, swearing and drinking. Anything else I dont batter an eyelid at really and just assume its one of those days.

Lightheartedly.... mums who dress their kids identically to one another. Or even worse who dress their daughters identically to themselves (I have seen this!)

Smoking
Feeding your kids shite, chemical laden crap. And no, I dont mean they have to eat organic which you cant afford. Water or milk is better than a fruit shoot or a can of coke.