What do you ACTUALLY judge mothers on?

[Ketomeato]

Inspired by the child in the buggy thread, I realised I hardly judge anything really, mainly because I have an unruly child with additional needs so in our house, pretty much anything goes. You have to be kind, and you have to wear pants. And that’s it.

What does anyone actually judge about, regarding parents with young children?

@Beebeezed yes I do. I hate children in pubs.

I judge the judgers, and the ones who let their children be mean or unkind without even trying to give them better guidance.

Oh and also as above juice in bottles and smoking in cars with kids.... No car seats

Not a lot really in terms of how they parent their child - it’s tough and I think most people are doing their best. I do raise an eyebrow at things like cot bumpers though.

I judge excessive and wanton waste such as changing a toddlers nappy every 90 minutes or the amount of wipes quite a few mothers seem to use.

What is wrong with baby bjorns???

Anything that's dangerous or has long term health implications. Eg. No/inappropriate car seat, smoking, drinking when pregnant, juice in bottles (miner compared to others, but really bugs me), very early weaning.

Also diet to some extent (like crisps and mars bar for lunch at 1) but would have to be very bad, I wouldn't judge kids eating chicken nuggets and chips type food.

Anything that's just irritating or unusual, but not doing anyone long term harm, I generally don't care about.

Aside from smoking, swearing etc - CIO.

Smoking, smacking, dummies at any age, bottles past 1, 2+ year olds in nappies, swearing, using weeks past 12 weeks, using months past 2, forward facing car seats below 4 but especially for under 2s, kids sitting in a trolley on a tablet/phone.

Loads

Smoking
Smacking
Threatening them with the police or someone kidnapping them
Very early weaning
Changing nappies near food

What is wrong with baby bjorns

Cheap and badly made. Newer models slightly better but older ones leave babies in terrible hip positions. And they are nearly always hanging far too low.

Before I had children I probably did all the time but now even when I see parents losing their temper I just tend to think it’s probably something at the end of a very long day.
However I do judge smoking when pregnant and parents who spend a long time on their phones while out with their kids and ignoring them ; I appreciate that sometimes you need to send a text or email but you still need to keep an eye on what they’re doing

Shabby clothing. But it seems to be a middle class thing to have mothers who are exquisitely turned out with children who clearly need new shoes etc.

Terrible but along with smoking I can't help but judge on how clean the the pram etc is.

Sometimes I see prams and blankets that actually make me feel sick!

I don't judge so much on a child as we all know it's nearly impossible to keep a little one clean!

Letting small children run around cafes and restaurants. So dangerous and annoying.

I live in a pretty rough area and they way I hear parents talking to their kids is just awful. Stuff like "I'll fucking smack you fucking little shit" with alarming regularity.

Yelling and swearing and grabbing kids roughly. Makes you wonder what on earth goes on behind closed doors if they do this in public.

Ignoring them.. of course it can be a one off, it might have been a very long week / night whatever. But if a child is trying to say something and is just told to shut up or ignored it bothers me.

And smoking and excessive drinking.
Haven’t really seen any slapping or other behaviour.
I used to judge way more before I had a kid. Now I’m ashamed of my earlier judgemental self!

Oh and no one has a car seat never mind age appropriate. Often see kids sitting on peoples knees in the car.

Drinking whilst being the only responsible adult looking after children. Yes, even if said children are asleep in bed.
Dirty clothes. In particular, parents then never seem to wash their kids coats.

*that never

@DappledThings I saw a woman in the park the other day wearing a tiny baby - couldn't be more than 2 months old - in a baby Bjorn facing outwards she was running after a toddler and I understand she had a tough job but that poor newborn was wobbling about so much, including his head, it made my heart ache.

Smoking
Being angry, shouty, aggressive, cruel to a child
(A woman today grabbed her 3year old by the front of her coat, pulled her right up to her face to shout at her for weeing in her pants. I had to tell her it's not acceptable !!! - sorry I know the never interfere brigade will flame me, but it really upset me so I needed to say something )

I only hoik up my budget pants for truly destructive parenting that will put kids at significant risk of physical and/or mental distress. Like sending kids to play on a railway line. Or telling them they were born in the body if they don’t like the stereotypes that society applies to their sex.

Smoking around children/when pregnant
Fizzy drinks in bottles/ beakers
Babies eating chocolate, McDonald's etc - just why on their precious new teeth! They've got years ahead of them for that stuff.

Late potty training when no special needs
Not following through with an instruction or warning