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Original poster

What do you ACTUALLY judge mothers on?

358 replies

Ketomeato · 16/10/2019 19:55

Inspired by the child in the buggy thread, I realised I hardly judge anything really, mainly because I have an unruly child with additional needs so in our house, pretty much anything goes. You have to be kind, and you have to wear pants. And that’s it.

What does anyone actually judge about, regarding parents with young children?

OP posts:
Ginger1982 · 16/10/2019 22:02

I try to not judge as, for example, I let DS watch the iPad whilst out for dinner and I probably am judged for that but I would privately judge smoking, smacking, juice in bottles, pierced ears and older kids with dummies.

I'm astonished at someone judging a 2 year old still in nappies though. DS is 2.5 and showing no signs of being ready to toilet train and have to say that most of his same age friends are the same.

57Varieties · 16/10/2019 22:06

Screaming/excessive swearing
Smacking
Smoking/Drugs/excessive alcohol
Fizzy drinks
Anything other than milk or water in a baby bottle

lookingfortreasure · 16/10/2019 22:10

I'm quite relaxed, but kids talking with dummies in I do judge. I think just take it out or ask them to. I also judge bottle after 2 ish, especially filled with squash.

Also I have a friend who is keeping her son a baby for too long. She's admitted this is what she is trying to do. He is three and still sleeps in a cot and has bottles. He's a lovely boy and there's no ill affects on his development that I can tell. So it's not so much a judgement, but it's just why, get a grip you can't stop them getting older.

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StylishMummy · 16/10/2019 22:11

Smoking

Physical punishment

Putting children down

Loud swearing

Massively overweight children (excluding SEN) My home town is unfortunately right at the top of childhood obesity tables, it grates when you see tiny primary school kids swigging Coke and chewing crisps on their way to school at 8.30

Posh, common, working class, whatever, if you're nice - we can be friends. All of the above- no.

seven201 · 16/10/2019 22:12

Feeding children only junk. I'm not talking about a few too many treats I am guilty of that one or massively fussy children. Last year we sat near a family having a picnic and they had a daughter the same age as my dd, 2. That 2 year old ate a whole box of chocolate fingers for lunch. The adults watched and didn't try and stop her at all. She was massively overweight. For some reason that has really stuck with me and I don't think I'll ever forget it, which I know sounds ridiculous!

Smoking in cars or enclosed spaces with kids.

Parents who let their kids drop rubbish on purpose.

Just being mean, like a bully to a child. If they're that mean in public what are they like at home?!

Uncomfortable show outfits for playing in or not letting the kid play in case they spoil clothes. Different if going to a special event of course.

Sipperskipper · 16/10/2019 22:12

Obviously all the awful stuff some posters have mentioned, but my own personal minor judgements go to:

-People who give their DCs iPads / phones to watch when out for dinner etc (or in a shopping trolley, or waiting room....anywhere really!)

  • OTT ‘careful! Don’t do that you might fall!’ etc etc
  • lots of TV / screen use for younger children
  • not reading with children
  • juice in bottles

DD is 2.5 and still has a dummy to go to sleep though, so sure I will be judged for that!

MotherOfLittlePeople · 16/10/2019 22:14

Parents that know their children are ill but still send them to nursery/school regardless.

Don't really judge much else.

Cherrysherbet · 16/10/2019 22:15

  • I judge mums who have spent more time than they should have getting themselves dressed up for the school run.

  • I judge mums that wear their pjs and slippers on the school run.

  • I judge mums that smoke.

  • I judge mums that constantly put ‘me time’ before their children.

  • I judge mums that shout/behave aggressively towards their children.

  • I judge mums that are too far up the teachers/heads arse.

  • I judge mums who turn a blind eye to their kids bullying others.

  • I judge mums who don’t teach their kids to have respect for others/let them bother others.

  • I judge mums that post their kids doing amazing things/making (fucking) memories on social media, when it’s not an accurate picture of their life.....the purpose is to make others feel inferior.........I’ve just seen them shouting at their kids all the way home!!

  • I judge mums who let their kids get a pet, then put a Facebook ad up a few weeks later......due to a change of circumstances blah blah blah...

There’s loads more.....I’m so judgmental, but I think we all are, even if we don’t say it! I would never say this irl!!

SleepingStandingUp · 16/10/2019 22:16

Swearing.
Hitting.
Coke etc
Smoking

lacuraandsimple · 16/10/2019 22:17

Well I must be a shit parent as my LO is over 2 and isn't yet toilet trained Hmm

LisaSimpsonsbff · 16/10/2019 22:18

What an unpleasant thread. I'm very much judging you for starting it, OP!

Madreb · 16/10/2019 22:20

Mums who don't ever read to their children.

Drivenmad80 · 16/10/2019 22:22

Smoking around children/when pregnant. Daytime drinking with kids in a pub. Parents that let kids run up slides!!

Anti vaxxers I just don't get it

WorraLiberty · 16/10/2019 22:25

I judge mums who have spent more time than they should have getting themselves dressed up for the school run.

How much time should they spend? Is there an unwritten amount?

tumbleisatwat · 16/10/2019 22:26

I judge people who judge 'performance parenting'. It's their own inadequacies that are the problem generally.

MsChatterbox · 16/10/2019 22:27

Not following basic safety things like cutting up Grapes and having them in the car seat correctly.

Yeahthatthing · 16/10/2019 22:30

MsChatterbox actually yeah I'd agree with that. A friend recently handed her child (3yo) a Tupperware container of uncut grapes and Brazil nuts then asked me to watch her whilst she went to buy a coffee, I refused. Made me very uncomfortable.

twinkledag · 16/10/2019 22:30

People always on their phone around their children

JenniferM1989 · 16/10/2019 22:30

Some people need judged ffs. Since when is it ok to smoke in a car, house or nearby your child? People doing that should be judged to hopefully make them see sense about how selfish they are. It's also really unsafe to sit on your phone while out with a toddler that could run off at any second, they need judging too!

These are probably the two things I judge the most. I also do judge mothers that seem to only care about where the next dick is coming from rather than focusing on the delight they have right infront of them. My sons attends a playgroup and I can honestly say that I do not judge any one of those mums or dads. I very rarely see the 3 things I've mentioned but when I do, I judge. I don't do any of those things so I think I'm safe to judge. They may want to judge me on the fact I give my son chicken dippers twice a week and they can feel free

twinkledag · 16/10/2019 22:31

Letting children play on phones without headphones

firstbabyloading · 16/10/2019 22:34

Parents ignoring their kids whilst glued to their phone
kids trailing 10 mile behind them or being miles ahead anywhere but especially on main/busy roads

morrisseysquif · 16/10/2019 22:34

Smoking around kids
Drugs/ alcohol around kids
Putting a man / woman before kids and letting them know they are second
Domestic abuse of any type in front of kids
On their phone pushing front facing pram/buggy when child awake, just engage with your child
Same as above at playgroup
Dummies past 18m - it then becomes a 'dummy shut upper' and not a comforter
Eating cake/crisps on the school run to school
Loud helicopter parenting
Saying 'oh that child isn't sharing' whilst glaring at your child for not handing over a toy when their child wants it and therefore not understanding the difference between SHARING and TAKING TURNS
Shaming kids and shouting at them
Smacking, yanking pulling arms to hurry up because parent didn't sort arrange leaving house on time
Filthy buggy, I mean black with dirt
No car seats, kids standing up and waving out of the window

Skinnychip · 16/10/2019 22:36

Why is the title only judging mothers? I judge (rightly or wrongly 🙈) parents who don't appear to be making any effort to parent their child in public places (eg kids being annoying/causing disruption/potentially going to hurt themeslves or others on public transport or in restaurants)

Also parents leaving kids on their own at a young age to go and do something totally non urgent because they can't/wont get a babysitter.

Tigger001 · 16/10/2019 22:37

I judge mums who have spent more time than they should have getting themselves dressed up for the school run.

I'm assuming you only know this by talking to them and wouldn't be so ridiculous as to judge that by their appearance at the gates?

What is the appropriate amount of time ?

Putthekettleonplease · 16/10/2019 22:38

Mothers who are not inclusive and leave single kids out of parties.

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