Sat in the car about to ruin my life

[AdvanceRegret]

I've got an amazing husband and an even more amazing baby son. I had my son a few months ago and I've just gotten sadder and sadder and it's like I've hit the fuck it button. Insomnia keeps me up all night, I just feel out of control and now I'm sat outside the house of a man who is not my husband in my car and he's expecting me to go in and sleep with him and it's like I've suddenly woken up and realised what I've done. I'm so unhappy with myself not my husband and I'm about to destroy my family. I only just made this family. Even if I turn the car around and drive home it's gone too far. I'm here. That's just as bad as actually doing it. Right? What the fuck is wrong with me?

Wait a while before any confessions. Be kind to yourself and get better. Now is not the time to deal with that. It was the catalyst for you to get help. Dont give it any more headspace.

Oh @AdvanceRegret I came back to see if you'd updated in the hope that you had and I have welled up reading your update!

It's such great news that you've reached out for help and can tell from your tone that at the least you can now see there's the hope of feeling more normal again.

It's a relief isn't it, to think for so long that you're a horrible dickhead, then realise you're actually poorly! Well done you, I'm so happy you've made the first step to getting yourself well.

You and your DH both sound lovely and I'm really pleased you have each other.

You can do this!

Lots of love

I've just seen this thread.. well done for getting some help OP. I do hope the medication starts working for you soon and you start to feel better. I'm so glad you posted on here and got some wonderful advice. Onwards and upwards

You don't have to tell him but if you do in the future, choose the right time and place and make sure you get him to read this thread first.

You are so brave. I'm so glad you updated. I think we all stand behind you on your way through this.

What a great update. I know this is only the beginning and there's a way to go yet, but you've taken a great step.
Sometimes MN gets me down, but when I read something like this, I recognise how valuable it is.

I wouldn't tell your DH where you went, to be honest. You weren't you that night. There's no need to muddy the waters. It's time to move forward rather than look back.

I'm so delighted that you came back to update us. Thank you. I have been thinking of you.
Well done you for going to see the GP and for getting help - things will get better now.
I agree with the others who are recommending not to tell your DH where you went that night. You were not behaving rationally due to the PND, so it wasn't the real you, and in addition you didn't actually do anything wrong. You asked for help and you took the advice. I'd draw a veil over it and move on.

If you'd cheated, I'd be on the other side of the fence here, but given that you didn't, I think you can keep where you went quiet and not burden DH with it. It won't help him, and he's already aware that you're struggling. What pushed you over the edge to need help isn't important.

I'm so glad that you're getting help all the best.