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Original poster

Sat in the car about to ruin my life

208 replies

AdvanceRegret · 23/09/2019 18:43

I've got an amazing husband and an even more amazing baby son. I had my son a few months ago and I've just gotten sadder and sadder and it's like I've hit the fuck it button. Insomnia keeps me up all night, I just feel out of control and now I'm sat outside the house of a man who is not my husband in my car and he's expecting me to go in and sleep with him and it's like I've suddenly woken up and realised what I've done. I'm so unhappy with myself not my husband and I'm about to destroy my family. I only just made this family. Even if I turn the car around and drive home it's gone too far. I'm here. That's just as bad as actually doing it. Right? What the fuck is wrong with me?

OP posts:
Crass12 · 23/09/2019 18:52

Go home and tell your husband how you feel. You’re exhausted and need support. Big hugs 💐

pastabest · 23/09/2019 18:53

Even if I turn the car around and drive home it's gone too far. I'm here. That's just as bad as actually doing it. Right?

Unless sitting in a car on your own can lead to lead to pregnancy and STIs then no.

The first year of a baby's life REALLY tests even strong relationships.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Go home, or wherever it is you've told your husband you are supposed to be at if you don't want to go straight back.

Fairylea · 23/09/2019 18:53

It’s not too late. Just go home!

Walnutwhipster · 23/09/2019 18:53

You know this isn't what you want.

Triglesoffy · 23/09/2019 18:54

A parish priest once told me that everyone has bad thoughts. But it’s acting out the bad thoughts that is wrong. You have driven your car to an address but that is not going to ruin your life. As Pp have said, go home and you will not have crossed the line

villainousbroodmare · 23/09/2019 18:55

Three point turn. Right now. Turn off your phone and go home.

PinkyU · 23/09/2019 18:55

You are worth more than this op, I know you may not currently believe that. You bring value to your child and your partner. You are a good person because you recognise that you need some help.

Take a breath, drive to a safe place and tell yourself “tomorrow I will see a doctor, today I will survive”. Call tomorrow and request an emergency appointment for a mental health assessment. You can do this op and you will be ok.

SherbetSaucer · 23/09/2019 18:55

Even if I turn the car around and drive home it's gone too far. I'm here. That's just as bad as actually doing it. Right?

Absolutely not!!! Go and get a coffee, get your head together and go home. Block this OM and get some support/see your GP. Sounds like you could be suffering from PND!

Mummyoflittledragon · 23/09/2019 18:56

Go home or go for a drive. This doesn’t sound like the real you talking. This sounds like you are struggling with mental health issues. Who gives a shit if it’s gone this far. You’ve suddenly woken up. Time to take care of yourself and be kind to yourself.

Get an appointment with your gp ASAP. Flowers

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 23/09/2019 18:57

Parenting a small baby is shit. But there is help out there, you can fix things. Going into that house is just going to make things worse. Don't do it.

Gustavo1 · 23/09/2019 18:57

Another poster hoping you’ve gone home. Block this man. Nothing with him will help. Get some support, anywhere you can. Friends, family, GP, health visitors. Ha big a baby can be so so hard. It’s ok struggle. Don’t let the struggle ruin everything FlowersFlowers

Wynston · 23/09/2019 18:58

Please dont go in........u have not yet crossed the line x

Nomorepies · 23/09/2019 18:58

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request.

which1 · 23/09/2019 18:59

I'm not sure I'd advise you to go straight home.

If it were me, I'd send myself to Costa for a hot chocolate and cake, calm yourself down and think about what you want to do when you get home.

Perhaps drop a text to say you are running late though.

Take care

JeSuisPrest · 23/09/2019 18:59

I always think there aren't many things in life that you don't get a second chance at, otherwise you'd give up at the first failure. But you can never undo being unfaithful. Even if your DH never find out the guilt will eat you alive. Please just go home and be thankful you saw sense before it was too late.

ISmellBabies · 23/09/2019 19:00

Op please come back and tell us you're safe. You're putting yourself in an incredibly vulnerable position. Some people's mental health takes a knock after pregnancy and childbirth and we do mad things, it's ok, it's fixable. GP can prescribe something to sort that out. But you've arranged to meet a guy who knows you won't have told anyone where you're going or who you're meeting, and you're out of sight of anyone but him. He could do anything. He could have a video camera set up for his personal enjoyment later, to share with friends, put on tge internet or to blackmail you with. He could seriously hurt you thinking you won't tell the police because that'll out your "affair". Or he could kill you.
See your gp about your mental health but for goodness sake get out of that situation if you're still there.

DisgruntledGuineaPig · 23/09/2019 19:01

You posted because you wanted to be told to go home.

Turn the car around. Or at least go somewhere else like MacDonalds for a bit and think.

Shagging some other man won't help, that'll mask the real problem - I'm guessing starting some sort of emotional and flirty affair with him has been an escape from your problems, but it wont fix them, only add to them if you turn this into a physical affair.

You sound depressed. Sadly, sex doesn't fix that.

L0bstersLass · 23/09/2019 19:01

It hasn't gone too far my lovely. Drive off somewhere that you can park up and clear your head a little. Then message us to let us know you've done that.
There are people here that want to help you.

RainyG · 23/09/2019 19:02

Do you know the man whose house you are sat outside?

AsMuchUseAsAMarzipanDildo · 23/09/2019 19:02

The fact you even have this doubt means having sex with the other man is a very bad idea. You need to go somewhere else entirely and get some headspace. Sure, if you don’t sleep with him, you may still feel like ending your marriage or you may decide to fight for it. But if you do sleep with him - your marriage is over, you’ve hurt a lot of people in the process, you’ll hate yourself and above all, it really isn’t going to fix that feeling of wanting to run away from your life.

For what it’s worth, if the roles were reversed, I’m not sure my marriage would recover from DH cheating. But I honestly would be fine with him changing his mind at the last minute and driving off before he did the deed.

The first few months of motherhood are crucifying. It can be unbelievably hard work, your body’s often fucked, you have no time for you and it totally changes your relationship. But it does get better x

PinkyU · 23/09/2019 19:02

Op even if you have gone in please come back on here to talk, you will be supported.

Risky and dangerous decision making is a hallmark of a mental health crisis (not trying to diagnose you), this is no different to person having self harm or suicidal ideation, please take this seriously, seek help as soon as you feel able.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 23/09/2019 19:03

Go home, talk to your husband about your sadness.

peachgreen · 23/09/2019 19:06

This is post natal depression, OP. Classic destructive behaviour. I promise it doesn't have to ruin your life. Please don't let it.

brookelopez · 23/09/2019 19:06

drive home OP. you've realised your mistake before its happened, that's what matters!

MythicalBiologicalFennel · 23/09/2019 19:07

Sleep deprivation seriously damages your body and your mind.

Turn the car around and drive somewhere where you can go for a walk in the fresh air. Then go for a walk in the fresh air. Then drive home and please ask for support - starting with your sleep. I promise you you can feel better.