Don't believe my DP

[Natenywolf]

Name changed for this as don't want this thread to show on my posting history.

When me and partner first got together he was violent (never towards me though I thought I should add) and would punch people if he was annoyed/angry and he knew I didn't like it but he stopped punching people although they made him angry and annoyed.

Today he went out with his friend for a few drinks.

He came back earlier and had a small cut on his face and a cut on his lip. I asked him how it happened and he said he scratched himself.

For some reason I don't believe him.

He's now asleep (isn't used to drinking as he doesn't drink often and when he does it makes him tired).

Any advice on what I could do? Or should I just leave it?

The kind of man that thinks punching anyone is the best way to resolve conflict probably isn't going to change because he gets in a new relationship.

Have you got any friends or family that can help you see this clearly?

Maybe ask him again once he has slept it off?

if he's been punched most likely there will be a bruise and some swelling.
check his knuckles.

Yes run like hell

Odds are that he got lairy and somebody lamped him one. Hopefully, that's the end of it and there won't be a knock on the door from the police.

But anybody violent is worth getting the fuck away from.

He did change and stop punching people and always tried to not get angry.

He drank 3 pints he said so isn't drunk But he isn't used to drinking so he went to sleep. So I think I might ask him when he wakes up.

Like I said in my OP he never has got violent with me even when we first got together.

So you are Ok with him being violent with other people as long as it’s not you? Ask him whatever you want when he wakes up but I doubt it will be the truth. But the real question is why you would want to be with a person who makes you have these suspicions

No I'm not ok with him being violent with other people. That's why i wrote in my OP that he knows I didn't like it.

But you stayed with him knowing he was? And clearly you are worried about it now so my point is you have a violent man in your life hence why you are worried

What the fuck? What on earth did you stay with someone like that for?! Were you very young and from an abusive home yourself? Is this any kind of normal in your circles?

Yes I stayed with him and he stopped being so violent.

I'm not worried I just don't believe him for some reason

When me and partner first got together he was violent (never towards me though I thought I should add) and would punch people if he was annoyed/angry

And you stayed with him???

he knew I didn't like it
I didn't like my DH's dress sense, but I knew he wasn't an animal with self control & anger management issues.

he said he scratched himself. For some reason I don't believe him.

I imagine this is par for the course, if you're happy dating a savage.

FFS run for the hills!

No it wasn't normal in my circles and I wasn't from an abusive home.

I stayed with him but he knew I didn't like him punching people just because they made him angry/annoyed him

You sound very passive about his past violence. I would have dumped someone who thought that kind of criminal behaviour was acceptable.

There's lots of things you "could" do but what you should do is leave

He's a violent thug.

You don't believe him because he's violent and thinks it's ok to punch people.

It would be a deal breaker for me, even more so I wanted/had children because of the role model he would make.

You sound very passive about his past violence. I would have dumped someone who thought that kind of criminal behaviour was acceptable.

I agree... plus he CAN control his anger because as you say OP, he has never been violent toward you, so he is violent he chooses to be.

He had anger management counselling.

And after he didn't punch people and learnt to control his anger. So I didn't leave him

If I left him now and he did scratch himself then I would feel stupid. And I don't even know if he was in a fight or if he did scratch himself I just don't believe him.

What made him just 'stop punching people'? I don't know where you live but round here if you carry off like that you'll end up in a really bad way or locked up. Why not save yourself the heartache and get out? You know he hasn't really changed.

Sorry, crossposted.

People will be talking about it if he's been fighting, especially if he's been kicked out of a pub or something. I'd check social media and maybe keep an eye on your local police media pages to see if any there have been any reports of assault.

No bloke wants to admit they got lemon and a smack in the face in return!

I just looked at his knuckles but not sure what they would look like if he was in a fight.

Probably unmarked because all he managed was the Drunken Arsehole threats and swearing before he got put on his arse in front of everybody.

But if he got punched he could've said but he didn't. He probably would be embarrassed but he said he scratched himself and didn't seem embarrassed at all