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Original poster

Sentences you never thought you would say before having children

182 replies

Winterfellismyhome · 05/08/2019 17:37

I love threads like this

"Please take your car out of the dinosaur"
"Please dont put your breadstick in my belly button"

OP posts:
Screamanger · 05/08/2019 17:41

“Don’t run, your fanning the flames”

GummyGoddess · 05/08/2019 17:43

'No dc2, that's dc1's penis, you can touch your own' Confused

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted · 05/08/2019 17:44

Was it a big pooh or a little pooh

37KAT · 05/08/2019 17:44

Please could you stop licking the chair.

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted · 05/08/2019 17:44

Was it a big pooh or a little pooh

Helenluvsrob · 05/08/2019 17:44

Pants on at the table

Fred578 · 05/08/2019 17:48

Why is there poo on the sink?

Acm1989 · 05/08/2019 17:49

I'm sorry but I can not make ur hair stick up like a trolls, its impossible...theres no point CRYING about it. Fgs

AuntieAvocado · 05/08/2019 17:54

Please stop licking my ear. No, don’t lick the baby’s ear. Don’t lick daddy’s ear. Don’t lick anybody’s ear. Stop licking ears.

Stabbitha · 05/08/2019 17:55

No, you can't assalt danger mouse.

PixieLumos · 05/08/2019 18:05

‘Don’t eat the books’.

CharminglyGawky · 05/08/2019 18:05

Please stop chewing the tv cabinet.

No, please leave the Tribble where it is, you know it's not allowed in your room overnight.

To be fair there was over a year between those 2 sentences.

BettysLeftTentacle · 05/08/2019 18:15

Stop knighting the dog.
Get your sister’s finger out of there!!

Raera · 05/08/2019 18:22

I've put Jack Stalwart in the suitcase but the aliens are staying here

Notthisnotthat · 05/08/2019 18:24

Stop licking the carpet.

DuckWillow · 05/08/2019 18:24

I was at Hever Castle in Kent last year and heard a Dad say “no Jeremy (or whatever the name was) you can’t bash the fish with a stick” and then having heard what he’d just said he laughed at himself.

Little boy had a stick and wanted to try and poke the fish in one of the ponds with it.

Raffles1981 · 05/08/2019 18:25

Stop climbing on the dog
Stop eating the dog
No, you cannot eat that dog haired, half eaten, week old biscuit you just found
No
No
No (dear god I say this a lot)

sleepyhead · 05/08/2019 18:26

I certainly didn't think I'd spend quite so much of my life asking people if they needed the toilet / had they been to the toilet / to go to the toilet before we went out.

And of course the dreaded "come here and let me check your pants"

Toilet, loo, wee, poo - the most frequently used words in my vocabulary at the moment.

mmgirish · 05/08/2019 18:28

Don't eat floor food....

mmgirish · 05/08/2019 18:28

Don't eat floor food....

Candlesonthetable · 05/08/2019 18:28

Take that giraffe out of your bottom (Sophie the giraffe)

Artykitty666 · 05/08/2019 18:29

Not a parent but a teacher. "please stop playing with your balls while I'm talking"

Aftereights91 · 05/08/2019 18:32

Why did you put your drill in your poo? (Toy drill just to clarify)

RosieposiePuddingandPi · 05/08/2019 18:33

Last night's gem was 'I won't ask you again, get your finger out of your bottom' along with ' please don't put your willy in the teapot, it might get stuck'.
I also spend a lot of time asking DS to remove his hand from his pants and to get his face out of his sister's face.

BishopBrennansArse · 05/08/2019 18:33

Err.... ds... is that chocolate or poo?