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Original poster

Sentences you never thought you would say before having children

182 replies

Winterfellismyhome · 05/08/2019 17:37

I love threads like this

"Please take your car out of the dinosaur"
"Please dont put your breadstick in my belly button"

OP posts:
Polestar50 · 05/08/2019 23:22

"Do NOT hit the dog with the spike"

Very loudly in a caravan site

chickenyhead · 05/08/2019 23:24

No I cannot put your sister up for adoption
(Today)

If it came out of an orifice please dont eat it
(Every day)

JustHereWithPopcorn · 05/08/2019 23:26

Let me sniff your bum
Please stop licking the carpet

JustHereWithPopcorn · 05/08/2019 23:26

Let me sniff your bum
Please stop licking the carpet

JustHereWithPopcorn · 05/08/2019 23:26

Let me sniff your bum
Please stop licking the carpet

JustHereWithPopcorn · 05/08/2019 23:26

Let me sniff your bum
Please stop licking the carpet

Polestar50 · 05/08/2019 23:27

"Do NOT hit the dog with the spike"

Very loudly from inside a caravan in a crowded site.

It was not a spike and he was not hitting. It was an Ikea food bag clip being waved in the dog's general direction. My brain couldn't find the right words quickly enough and that's what came out instead.

Polestar50 · 05/08/2019 23:28

"Do NOT hit the dog with the spike"

Very loudly from inside a caravan in a crowded site.

It was not a spike and he was not hitting. It was an Ikea food bag clip being waved in the dog's general direction. My brain couldn't find the right words quickly enough and that's what came out instead.

Polestar50 · 05/08/2019 23:29

Resend fail.

Stroan · 05/08/2019 23:29

"is that chocolate or poo in the pink bowl?"

It was NOT chocolate.

PassMeAnotherCoffee · 05/08/2019 23:31

Pants on at the table please

PassMeAnotherCoffee · 05/08/2019 23:31

Pants on at the table please

HappyLoneParentDay · 05/08/2019 23:33

"Why is there a Minion in the bath?"

"GET OUT OF THE WASHING MACHINE!!!"

"Stop talking to the Hoover it's not real"

HappyLoneParentDay · 05/08/2019 23:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HappyLoneParentDay · 05/08/2019 23:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HappyLoneParentDay · 05/08/2019 23:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HappyLoneParentDay · 05/08/2019 23:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HappyLoneParentDay · 05/08/2019 23:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 05/08/2019 23:38

Please take the ukulele off the ironing board.

You can not play the accordion while we eat dinner.

Stop watching the washing machine or you will throw up like you did yesterday.

I know you have made your sister into a burrito but please don't drop her down the stairs.

Strangely I have 5 children and all of these sentences were directed to the same child.

Polestar50 · 05/08/2019 23:38

S'okay Happy. It's happening to all of us!

Falafel19 · 05/08/2019 23:59

Leave your brother's willy alone

Get out of the dryer

Why are you feeding your bellybutton??

MsMustDoBetter · 06/08/2019 00:01

"No, I'm not going to devolve into a gorilla".

letsgomaths · 06/08/2019 06:33

You might like trainers without socks, but I don't. Don't take them off anywhere near me!

No, I promise this is not a true story. (The first page of Roald Dahl's "The Witches", which assures the reader that this is NOT a fairy tale)

letsgomaths · 06/08/2019 06:41

No, you won't go to prison.

SnugglySnerd · 06/08/2019 06:51

"Oh look! A backhoe loader!" I didn't realise ds had taught me quite so much about diggers!

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