Advice Clinic - Slatterns welcome

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Do you have problems? Is your life truly ridiculous, are you ridiculous? Please step inside our fully staffed advice clinic and we will cure all your ills. We have a clap nurse standing by for more intimate problems, don't be shy.

I can't spell either.

Maybe you could push slide your boss down the stairs? Pretend it's a giant corporate astro glide.

Coke as in drink not the marching powder.

Tracy you're not supposed to admit to soft drink embibement around these parts

Alright then it was neat vodka.

Me too!! It might look like a glass of water but I can assure you that it's not (back me up, water). No sirree.

Now why the devil have I woken so early on a Saturday?

Why the devil haven't I gone to bed yet?

Is that a trick question...?

No but I'm now getting my arse off the sofa & going upstairs. So good morning & good night.

P.S. Have another glass or 7 of 'vodka' that will send you back to sleep.

It's like a relay race! Good morning and good night :)

Anymore submissions to the zodiac/serial killer question? Hmm

Excellent vom work there M3.

Staying here today, they don't deserve me over on the fat thread.

C'mon cabal - zodiac?

I was fascinated by the social and his creepy little notes. Is he your inspiration?

Beaker no need to pretend to drink around here, we all shades of drinker from sober to raging drunk. All welcome.

**dammit, autocorrect put social instead of zodiac

Social? Have you had a visit from SS?

Ah, the Zodiac Killer. Arthur Lee Miller I think, his notes were better than BTKs silly missives. What a thicko.

My inspiration for Thighland was Valentines Day.

Gemini?

Interesting submission Reginald, I'll give the answer when more slagz are awake.

Well done on designing our castle by the way. I don't want a turret, I want a floating island on the moat. Also we need two moats. The inner one is for swimming and the outer one is for repelling and that one has sharks.

Beaker and frown what were you doing last night? Psychopaths need healthy natural sleep. I think we decided knocking yourself out with your own stench was the way forward.

May possibly need three moats as I'd like the temperature of my swimming moat set at 28 degrees. TL prefers 17.5 degrees and she's my best friend so she can have it. Plus we've agreed never to talk so ...

DT the only reason you are not my best friend is because you are my right hand whore.

TL's enigmatic silence on the subject of being best friends has not gone unnoticed

Zodiac sign. Um, Leo?

Yes, a swimming moat!

I was going with Gemini too, that’s the two faced one, right?

Taurus

Proj I'm not sure, I went to bed early then woke up at silly o'clock and caught beaker on the way to bed. I didn't like to ask what she'd been up to...