Advice Clinic - Slatterns welcome

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Do you have problems? Is your life truly ridiculous, are you ridiculous? Please step inside our fully staffed advice clinic and we will cure all your ills. We have a clap nurse standing by for more intimate problems, don't be shy.

I must say DL does a lovely goosestep, is it an homage?

I can tell you that my Jewish husband and I are listening to springtime for hitler right now. We’re having a lovely time.

No one wants your facts M3. The fatties just need to try harder, or become renewable energy.

I love Mr Tom, and look how I turned out.

My dad always said of my mum that while society judged her weight, she'd be the one surviving the apocalypse because her body was just so damn efficient!

I like the idea of storing my own renewable energy

Well don't light a log fire, you'll be accused of being a sonderkommando.

lido that has to be a joke.. Do people actually think like that? My favourite book as a child was about a kid and his dog and the dog died, think it was called 'ill always love you'. Should I see a therapist for my troubles?

Come the nuclear winter I'll survive on my own stores, like a fat camel.

I still think the answer is nobody go to the theatre ever again. People could just re-enact all that in their back gardens or maybe in the park therefore no seats needed, just picnic blanket and plenty of room for enormous people and titchy people alike>

Solved!

You can indeed have your cake and eat it

I loved GMT too.

Is titchy a word?

Is it tichy?

As in teeny weeny?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3524676-To-think-Goodnight-Mr-Tom-is-not-a-nice-book-for-a-9-year-old

titchy

thigh I so often have to look up your murderer refs.

or Titch for a name.

Titchy

They'd be Mystery Plays! We'd be jongleurs and act out the Canterbury Tales and Gawain and he Green Knight.

Ooh Proj we can act out some Browning poems too! Bagsy me as the Duke, you can be Porphyria.

I got an ad for masterclass.com the other day on You Tube. I actually watched the whole ad as it was fascinating. But Thigh could definitely get a slot on there covering murderers.

I’d be quite happy to be hot and dead, fine. Hot and no need to expend energy - fine with me.

We'll act out everything! I'd be an excellent Heathcliff and the first Mrs Rochester! Mwa ha ha!

Proj we need this castle soon so we can act shizz out all over the grounds.

We leave without a word when bored and retire to our wing.

Can I be the first mrs R? She is my fave. God, I hated Jane and her passive aggressive ‘I’m not fit, but I’m steady’

Can I sing a song?

I don't know any and you won't like it but I think it would be funz anyway!

Yes please!

In fact can we do Rocky Horror Picture Show at least once?

Let me know if you need a dancer, not to toot my own horn but I'm pretty amazing. I have often been told to sit down and stop dancing by obviously jealous people.

My 2 left feet would bring something quite magical I think.