I'm really not a very nice person

[notaniceperson71]

So on the surface I am a very nice person, respectable middle-aged lady - kind to everyone, the only person at work to hold the door open for the cleaners, judge people that are rude to waiting staff etc etc

But internally I really am not a very nice person and think the most awful things, I openly admit that most of these are jealousy so not a very nice trait I know for example:-

My close friend's DH has just lost his job, I am being supportive but in reality I am secretly pleased, they might have to downsize from their five bed detached house and cut back on their multiple luxury holidays.

I have a crush on a married colleague (I am also married) and if I had the opportunity to shag him with 100% assurances that no one would ever find out then I would!

One of the ladies in our friendship group has recently started to gain wait and is not ageing well (she was always the slim, pretty one) this pleases me.

I love it when my colleague makes mistakes at work, it makes me look good.

My cat shits in next door's garden, I actively encourage this.

Is anyone else secretly evil or am I just a cunt in disguise?

Well at least you recognise it I suppose.

Does it bother you?

This is me too. It makes me nicer out loud, to compensate .

Gosh you seem almost proud

Id love to know how to actively encourage a cat to do anything.

You sound like me with PMS....

But seriously you sound very human.

Meh.
Except the cat shit thing.
That’s just unpleasant for the sake of it.

The rest I get.

Can we be friends? This is me too.

Erm

I think most people think those things

😂😂 this is brilliant!

I wouldn't do the cat thing or the shag thing. I also wouldn't want a colleague making mistakes unless I actively disliked that colleague for some reason. As for downsizing from a 5 bedroom house or my friend not aging well, meh, I wouldn't bee too bothered.

Congrats on being absolutely human, OP.

They can tell.

But you’re honest! So even if you are an evil cow....at least you’re an honest one! Winner!

I'm surprised at those saying this is normal. The occasional moment of schadenfreude sure, but to this extent seems far from normal to me and I'm no Pollyanna. I'm grumpy and unsociable but I can't relate to being this bitter. I know someone who is like this and while she makes life unpleasant for those around her with her obvious resentment of everyone else's happiness or success I really do think that sitting stewing in her own bile does more harm to her than anyone.

I dont think im a particularly nice person but I wouldn't be happy at the examples you've given, especially about friends.

Mine is more that I don't give enough to charity, I havent told anyone at work its my birthday tomorrow cos I can't be bothered taking anything in (actually I could but most are really healthy and I can't be bothered with a fruit basket), I don't go out of my way to help people

I used to be quite like this. Looking back, I was pretty damn unhappy with my lot and so it was largely borne out of envy.

A few years later, divorced and remarried and in an extremely happy and content place, I can safely say this no longer resonates.

Maybe this is symptomatic of some unhappiness in you too, OP?

Hahaha. OP as long as you really are nice to people and are nice to be around that’s all that matters.

I'm willing to bet most of us are a little like this in one way or another.

I'm not normally a horrible person, I think. In fact, I'm a genuinely empathic friend, a supportive and supposedly inspiring boss and a caring family member.

But do I experience schadenfreude every time our group MD tears that moron James a new one? Or when people resign citing James as a reason and he gets in trouble? Even when his marriage fails? Oooooooooooh, yes, I do. I've my reasons, to be fair, but most of it is just pettiness on my part.

Plankton, is that you?

No. You're not a nice person. Are you a troll?

If it stays in your head, go for it, we are all Cruella. Reality? Nah.

I am honestly very nice to be around, these are internal thoughts and I would never be outwardly horrible to anyone.

So the cat thing isn't very nice but nor are my neighbours.