I'm really not a very nice person

[notaniceperson71]

So on the surface I am a very nice person, respectable middle-aged lady - kind to everyone, the only person at work to hold the door open for the cleaners, judge people that are rude to waiting staff etc etc

But internally I really am not a very nice person and think the most awful things, I openly admit that most of these are jealousy so not a very nice trait I know for example:-

My close friend's DH has just lost his job, I am being supportive but in reality I am secretly pleased, they might have to downsize from their five bed detached house and cut back on their multiple luxury holidays.

I have a crush on a married colleague (I am also married) and if I had the opportunity to shag him with 100% assurances that no one would ever find out then I would!

One of the ladies in our friendship group has recently started to gain wait and is not ageing well (she was always the slim, pretty one) this pleases me.

I love it when my colleague makes mistakes at work, it makes me look good.

My cat shits in next door's garden, I actively encourage this.

Is anyone else secretly evil or am I just a cunt in disguise?

Sorry ... am I hearing this right?

Some of you truly believed that everyone around you was always nice and unquestioningly supportive all the time? And it's an actual shock to read on a Mumsnet thread that that's not always true?

Really?

I hate it when DS or DH get ill - not primarily because I'm upset by their suffering, but because it's such a ballache looking after them.

I've cut down contact with a good friend because she's started running and lost loads of weight and I'm horrible. I do have lots of other slim friends, but she was my fellow post-baby fat friend and has betrayed me by getting healthy.

A friend and I use compound German word for the feeling that's the opposite of Schadenfreude - Misgunstig. It's not necessarily quite jealousy, as you don't necessarily want what the other person has, or indeed you might have it already - say if you've got a promotion and then your friend gets a promotion to the same level as you. It kind of means spiteful envy, I think.

No one said anything about everyone all around you namk.
I suppose I’m just lucky in that I don’t have a malicious streak. But there again, I have been pretty blessed in life.
There aren’t many people whose life I’d swap with. I’ve been given a great deal, so I suppose it’s easy not to covet what other people have.

What do you make of the relationship threads?
Are the posters on there who’re being supportive really laughing up their sleeves?

I’m genuinely interested in whether there’s a sliding scale of unhappiness and after a certain point, you don’t feel gleeful anymore? If someone loses a child for example, do you feel bad for them? I mean do you only delight in their misfortunes if their child doesn’t achieve much, etc?

I think there are quite a few posters who are faux-supportive, ihaddedto, they're quite obvious because they show up on threads where somebody's life is really in flux and they placemark, ask for updates even when it's clear that the OP has had enough.

Often to be found on 'food issues' and 'overweight' threads and haunting relationships board with the 'tough love' that is anything but.

They're also the ones that like to pile on. Gleeful tricoteuse describes them perfectly; they think they hide it well. They don't.

Add Jeremy Kyle threads to that list.

I hope you're not one of my friends......

Ha - I have got a post deleted! All I said was that it was cuntish behavior to rejoice or wish ill for friends but not otherwise. I didn’t actually call anyone a cunt (that would be a breach of talk guidelines and cuntish behaviour in itself)

< awaits further deletion >

@Springwalk - that was a really shitty thing to say about Anna Soubry and the photo you posted was stupid.

I think she's attractive and blisteringly bright - she certainly put Michael Gove in his place in a recent Brexit debate.

Be twattish if you like but I feel the need to defend a female politician who's had an awful lot of online abuse and threats.

Well.
I've enjoyed this one.

My ex used to often say the quote ”it is not enough that I succeed others must fail” one of the many reasons he is an ex

Hmm, it does make you think of the amount of joy some MNetters seem to get from correcting others spelling mistakes and the like..

Hear hear revoke I thought the same. FWIW I think she’s a good looking woman. (Soubry) but I suppose this thread is the perfect example of how you’re not allowed to be both. Gotta be our back into place. Can’t say you’re ugly because it’s clearly not true, can’t deny hour cleverness .. Oh I know .. bitter. Yes that’s it .. let’s have her as bitter. The irony.

I know Lying I’ve seen it. One of the worst ones (in the last few months/year or so) was a woman who had decided to ltb, but needed to organise herself first. She wanted to try to buy uniforms & larger items so that it would be easier to manage when she left.

There were people on there salivating at the thought of it all, haranguing her for updates, along the lines of “have you left yet? ... you said it would be any day now ..” quite simply relishing the drama. Making in some cases absurd suggestions as to what to buy, nasty tricks to pull on the husband, etc. As if it was an interactive film script or video game and not someone’s bloody life. Sickening.

That was to Lyingwitchintbewardrobe bold fail.

Still haven’t had an answer as to what the tipping point is regarding misfortune. How bad does it have to be before the ‘friend’ is sad on hearing the news, rather than gleeful?

And here's me thinking I was the only cunt about😬

I must admit I'm so happy nobody seems to be slating the OP. I have quite envious thoughts sometimes and I really hate them. We're in an affluent area but I wouldn't consider us affluent. It makes me jealous because my DHs friends and their partners are all pretty well off and we are not. Therefore they can do nice things and we can't. Some of them do have kids but only one (we have 2). It annoys me that when we meet up they talk about new cars/ moving to larger properties etc. And we're still stuck in a rental and probably will be for the foreseeable as we have no savings and don't earn enough to save.
It often gets me really down, then I feel like I'm a shit friend because deep down I'm jealous of them.

I retract my earlier comment about being happy that nobody was slating the OP. In hindsight I'd only read a handful of the initial comments.

@BellatrixLeStrangest

But what you're feeling is totally normal. A lot of us feel jealous of people who have lots of money, a nice house and cars etc.

But what the op is saying is that she is happy that her friend could lose her house, or job, or lose their looks. That's just plain nasty to feel that towards a so called friend surely??

I'm with you OP - don't beleive you are a monster - you have hardly wished anyone ill - just expressed the feeling that you are not exactly sad when things don't go well for certain others.
How many CF threads do we see where poster after poster piles on the "get revenge" advice, (burn down his tree/ dump the rubbish in his garden, tell his mother and shame him etc etc)?
People love Karma. Popular bear baiting shows where we love to see people voted off and we jeer as they go? The storylines in soaps and dramas? The classic triumph of "good" over evil in which evil always dies horribly??

You are normal and probably good fun to be with.

And she said "in our friendship group" - not friend. How many times do we hear posters telling an OP to dump/drop/ a friend or cut someone out of a friendship group immediately for some supposed transgression? Or leave it because they are "not your friends"?? Hypocrisy or what??