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Original poster

Do you have problems? I can solve them all.

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 26/04/2019 21:26

Hello, I'm Thigh. I will work with you to help you achieve the perfect balance in life. I am unfettered by knowledge or training as are my on call team of kindly agony aunts. We're ready to heal you.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
27
ProjectGainsborough · 10/05/2019 21:16

Valerie. Valerie needs to BURN.

I apologise if any of you are Valerie. But she does.

CarolinePooter · 10/05/2019 21:17

noway thanks for kind thoughts upthread. I am so happy to be back with my Thisters!

As regards Robert, I would say OK but Robs can be a pain.

25bucks maybe you should be buying shoddier quality condoms, or out of date ones? Try the market.

CarolinePooter · 10/05/2019 21:23

Btw slanket pre-pissed.

Do you have problems? I can solve them all.
CarolinePooter · 10/05/2019 21:24

Or do I mean before being pissed on? Sorry to be ambiguous.

CarolinePooter · 10/05/2019 21:26

A pre-jizzed sofa, though, there's a stylish piece of decor.

CarolinePooter · 10/05/2019 21:31

Sometimes it's better to imagine the thread than actually go and look at it. I take it jizzsofa is one of those?

25bucksandacracker · 10/05/2019 21:47

pooter thank you for illustration. I can only imagine how magnificent it would be when it's all pissy

The jizz sofa actually has a lovely glamorous sheen about it. Like a 1950s plastic covered couch. Or Kim Kardashian at the met gala.

thislido · 10/05/2019 21:48

wax you are a proper thighlander but you really must investigate slankets, they are life changing.

Welcome 25! Well done for coming out of the shadows and showing all the lurkers how friendly we are. Are you within reach of Deliveroo or similar? Have some Monster Munch delivered and lie down until you’ve gathered another strength to get to bed where you can lie down some more.

In terms of TTC solo have you paid for any from a clinic or are are you solely pursuing the ‘delivered in person’ method?

Nowaypast · 10/05/2019 21:49

I'll concede on the Norma front Wax since you so selfkessly volunteered to take your tractor to Swansea. Plus, tbf, the horriblest Norma I know is already dead.

25 what precisely is the nature of the convo concerning the jizz stained sofa? I imagine it's a very interesting convo?

thislido · 10/05/2019 21:49

I’ve got an Andrew for the list. Je was wittering on about an allotment when I last saw him so vegetables will be a fitting death.

25bucksandacracker · 10/05/2019 21:53

thislido thank you! I did order a Justeat so I no longer need a police officer to feed me yeast extract. I'm lying down now too so things are looking up

I emailed deliveroo but they don't seem to do sperm. Maybe I can set up a donations box in my local church? #brainstorming

thislido · 10/05/2019 21:55

Churches are full of pervs, you’ll be inundated!

DanglyTassles · 10/05/2019 21:59

Has anyone considered a Joyce? There again I like one and not the other!

25bucksandacracker · 10/05/2019 21:59

Perfect! Perv jizz has a ring to it. Thst will be the name of my first born

no I have a jizzy sofa. It's an antique. I have a blacklight so it glows in the dark like a beacon of the patriarchy

waxahatchee · 10/05/2019 22:00

This I don't really want the Andrews gone though! Is yours more of an Andy? Because that is fine. Or I can just do the paperwork for mine but there are 3 that I want spared really.

25 I don't think there is ever really a good reason to go in the church, even for that. I'm brainstorming for you because the ideal is often to have a child but not have to put up with the male so we will sort it.

DanglyTassles · 10/05/2019 22:02

25 are you thigh in disguise again? Hmm

waxahatchee · 10/05/2019 22:04

Joyce? I don't know anyone called Joyce. You can kill all of those.

25bucksandacracker · 10/05/2019 22:06

dangly ooh no I'm not but I'm extremely flattered by the implication. I have spent all my work day reading these threads though so maybe I've become brainwashed into her mindset

25bucksandacracker · 10/05/2019 22:07

My grandma is a Joyce. But she's almost dead so I guess it's fine

ProjectGainsborough · 10/05/2019 22:10

Is there a full moon tonight? I’ve noticed that almost everyone I’ve encountered in RL has been completely fucking nuts. Colleagues have all gone mental and the Dark Lord was so vile that I’ve had to retire to bed with wine.

thislido · 10/05/2019 22:26

We could just do my Andrew, wax, I’ve nothing against the others and he’s definitely not an Andy. Could move his fingers freakishly quickly though, like a human vibrator.

thislido · 10/05/2019 22:29

My phone tells me it’s a waxing crescent, project, well it’s not coming anywhere near my pubes.

thislido · 10/05/2019 22:30

Caroline i think pre-piss probably.

ProjectGainsborough · 10/05/2019 22:35

Ah ok wax. They must all just be cunts then.

I know a lovely Andy. He goes on exotic trips with his partner and makes me wish I was a gay man.

ProjectGainsborough · 10/05/2019 22:36

wax? lido!!! What fuck is wrong with me? Apart from the wines, obvs