Do you have problems? I can solve them all.

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Hello, I'm Thigh. I will work with you to help you achieve the perfect balance in life. I am unfettered by knowledge or training as are my on call team of kindly agony aunts. We're ready to heal you.

Ok seeing as it was me (my toddler)who introduced the ants, I should probably take responsibly for the ant training... send [email protected]

Sorry about that. Oh and the knee injury? Basically I may have fallen over the dog and also tried to leap the baby gate for my pizza delivery... I can confirm it bloody hurts.

Ouch, stay under your slanket for a while!

Also, whoever said labradors. Yay! But the evil dog who tripped me up and who has potentially broken my knee is a Shit Zhu. Literally a Shit. Breaker of knees...

Kneecapping is a common business practice in the murky world of artisan startups. Perhaps someone bribed your dog just ?

Confused about the Gizz - is this to make human childers with or to drink? Jizz is disgusting - who wants to drink the filth on purpose? Gays possibly? Does anyone have a gay friend that they can text and say "would you be open to a refreshing glass of jizz?"

For fertility also gay people who enjoy G&Ts and don't have access to fresh jizz.

So - we're after the pink pound! Now I understand!

I also have a twinge in my knee just this is not dog related but due to the very, very steep stairs in this holiday cottage and only 1 loo which is upstairs. Thank goodness I have the hot tub to piss in.

I'm ready for home, I really should know myself better by this age. 10 days on holiday is perfect 14 days too much.

I like Wales but I forgot my TV stick so can't be completely happy plus I miss my landline. If I had those two things I would stay forever. And a downstairs loo, or at least a commode.

Thigh I think you should pee freely... and I am jealous of your hot tub!!!

Also I can offer the Shit zoo as a weapon... they are sneaky, grumpy and cute, a rare combo...

Hello! I am back from a hot date and much has occurred! Gizz sounds wonderful, are you going to milk it from the couch cushions? Or is long life jizz not classy enough? I can procure it fresh in large quantities (single donor of course but he is very cummy) can I offer my repulsive services? XoX

Well hello there....

25 gory deets please?

just can't you eat the ants? They do in Mexico.

Well to be fair, looking at the state of my finances, I think we will be capturing ants and eating them for some time... shall I count you in for any goodness?

Ant goodness!!! Oh dear

All this talk of of jizz is making me queasy. It's been such a long time but I can still exactly recall the taste and smell.

No thanks, I can always pop down to one of the soup kitchens.

Well the offer is there. Mmm ants...

Realise you were referring to jizz. Or is it Gizz noawdays?

In other good news, my right leg is thoroughly fucked after the unfortunate heel incident, and know the knee smash. Please send not only a comet but also a bionic leg

Exactly TL - spunk was pukesvlle last century - I doubt much has changed.

Look at this woman's thread in AIBU - jenniferl1983

Can't do links - she wants to call the police because a neighbour threw water which might have (but didn't) go on her parking space.

I hope there's a diagram.

just are all the injuries to your right leg? I think you should have it amputated and then sell it. You could then get a mobility scooter and that would be a right laugh. You could also sell half of your shoes.

I can attest it still tastes terrible. However if we properly distil it I reckon we can sort that. It needs to be aged

No you're right, the soup was an alternative to ants rather than jizz.

TL there's never a fucking diagram these days is there? These lazy cunts just don't know how to keep interest going. They fucking annoy me, lily livered slags.

dog something to do with prostate massage I reckon. Fuck knows. Where there's a will there's a way