Do you have problems? I can solve them all.

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Hello, I'm Thigh. I will work with you to help you achieve the perfect balance in life. I am unfettered by knowledge or training as are my on call team of kindly agony aunts. We're ready to heal you.

Tits. Mine were pert and small.
Stephen. During same midlife crisis, wondered if I'd thought of having a boob job.
He got a blow job that included ice cubes.
His balls retreated to the back of his neck.
#pertandsmall

Lad I also got citical input for small boobs! After kicking the twat out of my life I'm sad to say I gave small consideration to a boob job! I resisted! In middle age, I now have ample boobage and in retrospect a boob job would be a hindrance now!

But, at the same time would serve well at my 'turn' in 'fetish corner' at the gentlemen's club of a Thursday!

Pooter!!! Reg!!! Everyone!!!

I had a Derek. He stole my grandmother’s jewellery. He wasn’t even my boyfriend, just a random sketchy count my friend liked. I think we throw a rock-filled marrow at him.

Cabal, I think we are witches. We got an offer today. A stupid, lowball offer, but the thibes are working.

Project was is the plastic food that did it??

What's a count? Is it a cunt? Or a regional word ?

Yes wax, I believe it was the plastic bacon that got them.

Also Derek was a cunt. He wasn’t a Count. Count Derek doesn’t work, does it.

Ha - x post wax

DT apparently smokers / ex smoker’s boobs fill with ‘fluid’ as they get older. So said my doctor, although he couldn’t explain what the ‘fluid’ was.

Either smoking is brilliant or my doctor is unqualified.

Project never mind all that the thribes are working so ...

Let's all chant for Project

"We need an offer, we need it to FAR exceed the asking price and we need it now!"

Then if she gets lower we can negotiate to the asking price! Genius I am!

Oh bless your wonderful misanthropic heart Dangly. I really am filled with unusual warmth for you all tonight.

Or I’ve pissed myself again.

Hello. I've been following your Nation for a while. Are you still taking questions? My question is can I join you people here in this safe place? My other options involve calling 101 or contributing to a discussion about a stained sofa. It's probably jizz. Jizz is the platonic form of all stains.

Yes of course 25bucks. Is 101 the police number or the hospital number?

project ooh I dunno I haven't tried them yet. Maybe they will send both and I can instruct them to lift me from the floor and feed me toast and marmite until I am recovered from the vapours. I can but try

Maybe they could offer you a free health check too. That should be a service: health check, marmite and lifting. I pay my taxes, where’s my toast???

25 come,come, welcome! I don't want to get too intense too quickly but is there anyone you want us to kill?

Maybe I'll get them to do a diabetes check. I have been pissing a lot. Although I understand that's encouraged around these parts.

Sooo many people need popped off. I'll make a list. Do you do it for me or just advise of the method? Tbh there's a few fuckboys in there. Do they count?

Thigh! New blood!

Sorry 25 - one of the proper thighlanders will be along to welcome you soon and tell you about the slankets and pissing, I think I missed that bit and still not entirely sure what the Slanket is about I imagine it is a blanket with piss all over.

Oh project congrats. But hold out for viewings when you have plastic monster munch on display. They'll generate higher offers I'm sure.

naked I too was a 7 out of 10 circa 1987, courtesy of Dave and his horrid cow of a girlfriend Kate. I have to put in a plea for Leo to be exempt though, he graded me significantly higher than a 7 - but I was also significantly younger/thinner/less gin soaked.

What's the consensus on Robert? And I vote very strongly for the annihilation of all Normas. I will personally undertake this mission with pleasure :).

25bucks I'm jealous of your jizz stained sofa.

wax hello!! If that's all a slanket involves then I am ON IT

nowaypast thank you it has taken a lot of commitment to get so much jizz on one sofa. It's currently 80% jizz 20% upholstery. I'm TTC so I rub myself on it regularly in hopes of a DC

Also can I nominate all those named Andy for the hit list? I had a recent romantic rejection and I feel like that is ample justification for a massacre

So 25, are you trying to conceive solo? I mean just with the jizz on the sofa? I don't think that works.

Andy can definitely be on the target list as far as I'm concerned, wanker used to make me and my friend do errands for him for nothing! Not Andrew though, absolutely not Andrew.

Great!! Andy can suck my jizzy couch cushion.

25bucks welcome! Your creative use of a stained sofa ought to qualify you for the Housekeeping Hall of Fame, but I suspect they would not appreciate you the way we do, so stay in thighland!

project wow that is great! As well as fake fruit, do you have a jizzy sofa? It could be a game changer.

And yes I am trying to conceive solo. I tried poking holes in the condoms but I did it wrong and some willies were injured. Rookie mistakes.

Oh and no, you can have Robert but not Norma. Norma is a lovely old lady.