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Original poster

Do you have problems? I can solve them all.

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 26/04/2019 21:26

Hello, I'm Thigh. I will work with you to help you achieve the perfect balance in life. I am unfettered by knowledge or training as are my on call team of kindly agony aunts. We're ready to heal you.

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27
Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 08/05/2019 23:53

The property owner sent me a cheery text saying that her husband, son and father in law intend to gather the lambz and mark them. Upon reflection it could be an attack is imminent and that's why she was cheerful.

Also she said that she wouldn't come and look at the hot tub today but would look at it tomorrow instead. Classic distraction technique.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 08/05/2019 23:55

I had my arse clenched in fear all day in case she inspected anything, you just never know. No wonder I'm a martyr to my bowels.

Plus her name is Margaret which doesn't bode well.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 09/05/2019 00:00

I see I've come over all bucolic and relaxed my guard too much. These Welshies are plotting against me with all their Hellos and smiles and lambz. Plus someone has stolen my hairbrush, honestly it's too much. Obviously harvesting my DNA to clone me.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 09/05/2019 00:05

My dog in a bag of dirty washing

Do you have problems? I can solve them all.
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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 09/05/2019 00:08

He can't find his hairbrush either. His name, genuinely, is Sheep.

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ProjectGainsborough · 09/05/2019 06:27

Well now I can’t take in anything you said about imminent attack because you showed me a picture of a dog. Look at him!

ProjectGainsborough · 09/05/2019 06:29

Naked I will prepare for the ZA today then. Assume colleagues will be eating each other’s flesh by lunch time. I’ll hide in the bogs and when the initial chaos has subsided, will pop out and claim my pointy hat.

MrsCatE · 09/05/2019 06:53

Thigh don't go all Welsh on me! Ex was from there and I tar them all with same brush; completely reasonable stance IMO. Bastards. Going to look up what Evelyn Waugh said about them - struck a definite chord with me. Also, Elsa? She's bound to snack on a sheep or two and Bastard farmers all have guns. It's all 'get orf my land' down there and 'Your Shih Tzu's been worryin' my sheep. BANG'.

waxahatchee · 09/05/2019 07:03

I'm very excited for the ZA now, I've waited so long for this! I am heading straight to Asda and I'm going to set up a little fortress there, we will have enough supplies forever! Anyone want to join me?

DanglyTassles · 09/05/2019 07:48

Pick me up on your way past please wax , I've always wanted to life in ASDA as a refugee.

DanglyTassles · 09/05/2019 07:49

Also while we're at the planning stage please try to include the Monster Munch isle within our fortress area!

thislido · 09/05/2019 07:56

The Isle of Monster Munch? This is my favourite typo ever.

thislido · 09/05/2019 07:58

No one will know if you steal some lambz. They could have been taken by eagles.

thislido · 09/05/2019 08:00

I love scruffy dogs. I saw a particularly good example yesterday in the rain, which added to the effect. Taller than yours, sort of lurchery.

DanglyTassles · 09/05/2019 08:02

Omg imagine the Isle of Monster Munch!!!

When's the next SeaCat out? I think I'd better take the Chinook!

thislido · 09/05/2019 08:04

I hope you find some peeper chips today Thigh. All the purveyors of oven chips must be rounded up and sent to Dog’s mines for crimes against thisters.

thislido · 09/05/2019 08:04

Proper not peeper!

DanglyTassles · 09/05/2019 08:04

Your dog is so cute! He can help your mission thigh

He can heard two lame into your car! You'd best do it now before they are marked! Maybe keep them in the boot during the hot tub inspection?

thislido · 09/05/2019 08:05

I think it’s next to Kirren Island.

DanglyTassles · 09/05/2019 08:05

I want peeper chips!

DanglyTassles · 09/05/2019 08:07

Thank you I'll set my TomTom

Do they have peeper chips at Isle of MM?

waxahatchee · 09/05/2019 08:13

Isle of Monster Munch yes! But only pickled onion flavour

thislido · 09/05/2019 08:15

All earthly delights are found on MM Island.

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 09/05/2019 08:42

Think I might have heard a tractor earlier but can certainly see no farmers. The lambz have gone to be marked apparently. Only sheepz left. My bowels appear to have settled, loose but manageable.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 09/05/2019 08:44

Looking forward to ZA and Project as Pope!

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