Do you have problems? I can solve them all.

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Hello, I'm Thigh. I will work with you to help you achieve the perfect balance in life. I am unfettered by knowledge or training as are my on call team of kindly agony aunts. We're ready to heal you.

I had a Welsh bf, he was rich and did my cooking and ironing. But he had a bad back and would wince and look pained. I had to bin him for his own safety.

Here's my other dog. He's called Parrot because he likes to sit on my shoulder when I watch TV

Ha. My cat sits/rides around on my shoulders when I won’t stop what I’m doing to cuddle him.

What's with the oven chips TL? it's such a fucker when you order chips and get McCains - I could have done that myself. Fuck Brexit, I don't care about that. This is a food crime, much more immediate. Plus being served frozen "mixed vegetables" - how hard is it to peel a fucking carrot - if you're a chef.

In my experience, you don't come to this part of the uk for the food.
Lambz and hot tubs...yes, food, not so much.

Thighland doesn't attract newbies anymore, it would be nice but I don't mind. We're like the SAS - small in number but exceptionally violent in nature.

Sheep 'n Parrot are great! Do you think they'll enjoy their new companions - the smuggled lambz?

Dog doesn't make sense, with all this countryside people should be inspired to spend time cooking and learning Welsh. Are Welsh Cakes to be fried and eaten for breakfast or eaten with a cup of tea? They seem like a lesser version of the Eccles cake to me. I've eaten what was left in the holiday cottage but I can't say I was amazed by them.

One of my dogs sits on my shoulders at night and if i lean forward to reach more snax, she falls down behind me like a very uncomfortable lumber support. I am then unable to retrieve her as the other large dog is sprawled across my lap. I have been known to stay all twisted round for hours...it may go some way to explain my bad back.

Get a sheepz instead! Lambz end up as sheepz anyway!

Welsh cakes have to be freshly made, warm and smothered in butter to be edible.
Anything more than a few hours old and they are dry and crumbly and disappointing. This is why people eat them with a cup of tea to help wash down the dust of them and take the taste away.
Stick to monster munch, they come in islands these days.

Sheep and Parrot 💕 Are you planning on cooking the lambs? If so, I'd advise waiting until after the farmer's wife has inspected the hot tub.

I'm not ready yet to be vaporised in the apocalypse, I have to much gin left to drink. But I can't be bothered to go to Asda. What shall I do?

Look at my adverts today. I'm about twenty years past childbearing age (plus I can't remember how to do the sex thing), and I would rather give up gin forever than appear in public in a swimming costume.

Are you cooking the lambz in the hot tub?

I wasn't going to cook the lambz in the hot tub, that'd be one way to make cawl. Wonder if they'd fancy a swim in it. Sheep and Parrot do not like me being in the hot tub, probs frightened I'm cooking myself.

Lidocat looked very alarmed every time I got into the bath for several years, but now he will sometimes fish for my toes from the edge.

Question: I thought a cawl was a thing that babies who have the Second Sight were born with covering their faces. You’re saying you EAT this?

I could just google it I suppose but where’s the fun in that?

Re: not having any new people, perhaps we should try to be less ostentatiously weird for the first few pages of the thread. Ease them in gently.

I hope the lurkers are still here though. I heart the lurkers.

Yes, I think for the first few posts we should all ask and answer each other’s questions. Or we need to change our recruiting tactics in the opening post to something more... I dont know, descriptive of our usual antics.

Project I don’t think she just eats the cawl.

I heart the lurkers too, and not just in a coveting their organs type way.

Cawl is a Welsh soup or possibly the Welsh word for soup. My rich, Welsh ex-bf's mum taught me to make it with bacon, parsnips, potato, carrots, onions and a Knorr chicken stock cube. It's probably wrong according to purists but tastes vg.

How do we be more descriptive of our usual antics? I haven't a clue what we're doing, only that we've all converted fully to this strange and joyously violent land. I'm super excited about the upcoming ZA though. Hope Naked doesn't go all human on us. She hasn't done any sums for a while.

How about something short and sweet, like "we're weirdly culty cunts", as a way of enticing newbies in. We could add a stray apostrophe as a sort of tease, so culty cunt's.

Thing is though, we're all very good at solving problems, perhaps we've just exhausted the supply. There are no more problems to solve.

Cawl - I think is also something that Rosemarys' Babies are born in - and something to do with Greek sausages possibly too sieftalia.

The strange thing about getting older is that I know so, so much useless shit. Nothing in any depth or anything helpful but how to get ground in fox shit off a dog's fur or things to do with sheep cawl - I'm your man. I can also swear and count to 10 in a surprising amount of languages.

I have a friend who can accurately predict cock size upon meeting a man. This is a skillz I never developed and have often wept with ennui - yes, I'm looking at you Darren the policeman.