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Original poster

Relative inviting herself to DD first day of school

273 replies

Bobbycat754 · 15/04/2019 19:33

Hi all, not sure if I’m being mean or not so some opinions please Smile

My DD is starting school this year. My partner will be away at work and with my DD on her first day will be myself, both sets of grandparents and my younger child.

A relative (my DD great aunt who she doesn’t see very often) who lives far away told me yesterday that she will be coming up to see her on her first day. If she comes, this means at least 2 other family members will be tagging along too which would make 9 people. It will already be the 6 of us. I think this is too much people to be dragging along to a child’s first day at school, I don’t want my daughter feeling overwhelmed.

I am going to mention to DD great aunt about coming up at the end of the week instead or the following week so we can get settled in to school with her.. but I know she won’t be happy.

Am I being mean in telling her no for the first day or should I let her come?

OP posts:
PH03b3 · 15/04/2019 19:35

Does she even need six people to take her to school?

WatchingFromTheWings · 15/04/2019 19:36

6 is way too many too!

Original poster
Bobbycat754 · 15/04/2019 19:36

It’s my first child and both of her grandparents would love to see her go in... I don’t have a problem with that at all. It’s the extended family that I feel don’t really need to be there.

OP posts:

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ShaggyRug · 15/04/2019 19:36

I’d say that’s too much. First days can be overwhelming for little ones and you really want your DD to just feel it’s all normal. Many adults all smiling and watching her may make her nervous. Less is better ime.

You’re not being mean telling her not to come on first day. You’re being a good mum. She could come another time.

highstresslevels · 15/04/2019 19:37

I think you will look a bit silly all going as it is to be honest. Might be better just you taking her, keeping it low key without making it such a big deal.

NerrSnerr · 15/04/2019 19:37

You're already bonkers having both sets of grandparents coming on the first day. It's already a really hectic drop off with it being the first day. It's not a spectator sport.

northerngirl2012 · 15/04/2019 19:38

There’s nothing to freak her out than an audience. It’s be better & more relaxing for just you to take her.

ShaggyRug · 15/04/2019 19:38

I also agree with PP that really GP’s is a bit much first day too. Your DD May feel she’s being sent off with a full family fanfare and it could cause her a lot of anxiety.

Her first day is not about what the adults want. It’s about her.

choosingchilli · 15/04/2019 19:38

Way too many people for the 1st day of school!

If I were you I'd invite everyone over after school for tea and cake so they can catch up and find out how her first day went, it's a bit much to be all trailing in grandparents too...

ShaggyRug · 15/04/2019 19:39

If anything let them come with you to pick up. Not drop off.

mummyofdaughters · 15/04/2019 19:39

Why on earth are both sets of grandparents coming?? Just no.

blackcat86 · 15/04/2019 19:40

I really don't understand having the grandparents there. School is school, it doesn't require an audience. You need to bite the bullet here and contact great to advice that 6 is already a lot so there is no need for more adults particularly those she isn't close to.

Redshoeblueshoe · 15/04/2019 19:40

6 ! Way too many

WheresTheEvidence · 15/04/2019 19:40

Schools often state no more than 2.

If 30 children bring 6 adults each plus siblings that's over 200 people in 1 classroom

You take the children then at pick up have everyone come over.

megletthesecond · 15/04/2019 19:40

You don't need grandparents there either.

Just you and her sibling is fine, and a whole lot calmer than relatives hyping her up.

Smellyrose · 15/04/2019 19:42

She doesn’t need both sets of grandparents - that will make it too much of a thing.

Just you and your younger DC taking her to school as you will do every day from now on.

Don’t make this. Massive event for her.

Smoggle · 15/04/2019 19:42

Only one person needs to take her on her first day! She'll probably only be there for a couple of hours anyway Grin

Why don't you have all the relatives round for lunch when you collect her instead?

AuntieCJ · 15/04/2019 19:42

Far too many people. Just you, that's all she needs. Your family won't be allowed past the gate anyway and you'll look a bit daft with them all in tow.

LittleBearPad · 15/04/2019 19:42

Two sets of gps is way over the top. There are 30 kids, imagine if they all have 6 people!

MySecondBestBroomstick · 15/04/2019 19:43

Invite her round the weekend before for tea. Maybe get DD to show her her uniform, bookbag etc.

ForalltheSaints · 15/04/2019 19:44

Six is too many, what if all children had this- 360 people for a two form entry school!

Hoppinggreen · 15/04/2019 19:44

By taking all those people to drop her off you are building it up too much and are likely to cause a problem. They won’t be allowed in the classroom anyway.
Best save the crowd for pick up and if there will be 6 of you why not 9? Or 15?

ConstanzaAndSalieri · 15/04/2019 19:44

Agree with everyone, the grandparents shouldn’t be there either if you can make it. It’s bonkers.

HollowTalk · 15/04/2019 19:45

Imagine what the playground would be like if each child brought 5 people with them!

It's not your job to keep your great aunt happy.

werideatdawn · 15/04/2019 19:45

6 people is already ridiculous. It's not a family day trip fgs.