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Original poster

Relative inviting herself to DD first day of school

273 replies

Bobbycat754 · 15/04/2019 19:33

Hi all, not sure if I’m being mean or not so some opinions please Smile

My DD is starting school this year. My partner will be away at work and with my DD on her first day will be myself, both sets of grandparents and my younger child.

A relative (my DD great aunt who she doesn’t see very often) who lives far away told me yesterday that she will be coming up to see her on her first day. If she comes, this means at least 2 other family members will be tagging along too which would make 9 people. It will already be the 6 of us. I think this is too much people to be dragging along to a child’s first day at school, I don’t want my daughter feeling overwhelmed.

I am going to mention to DD great aunt about coming up at the end of the week instead or the following week so we can get settled in to school with her.. but I know she won’t be happy.

Am I being mean in telling her no for the first day or should I let her come?

OP posts:
JackieLavertyintheFreezer · 15/04/2019 19:45

I work in EYFS and agree that is far too many people, we invite the parents in with the child on thirst day to help settle them in, another 5 adults for one child is way over the top.
Not sure when first day at school became such a big thing, we took pictures in the garden of mine, DH went to work and I took them to school with little fuss. They are now 21 and 19.

Leeds2 · 15/04/2019 19:46

I really think 6 people is too much, let alone any extras. Suggest you tell the great aunt to come at another time and, maybe, that the grandparents have a rethink. So many people will make it really hard for your daughter.

Original poster
Bobbycat754 · 15/04/2019 19:46

Some good ideas thanks, I honestly didn’t think 6 was overly bad Blush she has her settling in visits next month so I might just tell relatives the school have said not to bring a lot of people to the first day, like 2 or 3 max!

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JackieLavertyintheFreezer · 15/04/2019 19:46
  • the first day not thirst!
ImHastingsDarling · 15/04/2019 19:46

I know PPs have already made this point but grandparents?!?!?!

:( DS only had his dad for his first day, I had to work. GPs were available but it's really not their place whether it's their first GC or not. Imagine if everyone brought their GPs gosh Blush

Chilledout11 · 15/04/2019 19:47

Mum and dad is enough

MySecondBestBroomstick · 15/04/2019 19:47

Six is too many, what if all children had this- 360 people for a two form entry school!

Completely agree with this, it's silly and really unhelpful for the 4 year olds to add to the crowds when it's already busy enough with bigger children

MaryH90 · 15/04/2019 19:47

Teacher speaking here, if you’re going to have all of these people tagging along can you at least ask the gps to wait outside presuming you’re allowed to walk her in and settle her for a few minutes? The last thing a nervous child needs is a load of adults fussing around.

daisypond · 15/04/2019 19:47

Please don’t bring even the grandparents along. I’ve never heard of such a thing -you’ll make it into some huge overwhelming thing for your child, as well as embarrassing yourself.

PanamaPattie · 15/04/2019 19:48

6 people! Far too many. Whatever makes you think this is ok?

FabulouslyFab · 15/04/2019 19:49

Poor little soul - can you imagine being left in school on your first day thinking that Mum snd sibling are going off to have fun with all the grandparents???? 🤔

ipswichwitch · 15/04/2019 19:49

First day statetong school is really overwhelming for many kids - DS2 has an almighty meltdown (awaiting asd diagnosis) due to the sheer numbers of people in the playground that first morning, and most of them certainly didn’t have 6 relatives with them!

A number of other kids were struggling with it all too. You may not have a problem having that many people come along, but it’s about the kids needs, and I’m sure the school would have something to say if everyone did that!

pinkpushchairs · 15/04/2019 19:49

I can just picture what it would be like if 6 people turned up for every child, how ridiculous 😂

daisypond · 15/04/2019 19:49

What are settling in visits?

screamifyouwant · 15/04/2019 19:50

You making it into a big deal !
Yes it is for you and dh but he's away but both sets of grandparents and now a great auntShock
If you feel mean on the aunt tell her not allowed that many people at school she can come to collect dc for school another day .
I'd rethink the both grandparents coming , you will feel quite silly this big group dropping your child off when for everyone else it will most probably just be 1 parent maybe both for some and the younger siblings.

Aragog · 15/04/2019 19:50

We advise 1 or 2 adults for first day. 6 will be too many and may be overwhelming for your child. Also, imagine every child taking 6 people with them on the first day - imagine what that classroom would be like?!

We sill have a staggered system here too, so its only part days initially too.

Why not ask grandparents to come for pick up after a few days?

therearenogoodusernamesleft · 15/04/2019 19:50

GrinGrinGrin
6 adults taking her to school. My goodness.

Cloudly · 15/04/2019 19:51

It maybe too overwhelming for your daughter. Maybe the grandparents can take her for a treat after she finishes school something for the 6 of you.

Aragog · 15/04/2019 19:52

What are settling in visits?

I'm assuming it is when children visit school in the summer term for a couple of short visits, in preparation for starting in September. Many schools do these. Some do them in the first week or two in September too.

mimibunz · 15/04/2019 19:52

Good grief! Her grandparents want to see her go in? Poor kid.

SmellsLikeAdultSpirit · 15/04/2019 19:52

Omg how embarrassing
I remember families like that from my DC primary. They even turned up at the pool for swimming lessons. They filled the tiny changing room so the other poor kids had no space to get dry. They had to be banned from the changing room
I hate daily tasks being turned into family outings and cringe for the kid as they get older

GreenTulips · 15/04/2019 19:52

Never seen this! At least the other parents will know to avoid you in future

Littlefish · 15/04/2019 19:53

We only allow one person per child to bring new children into the school. There simply isn't enough room for any more than that.

6 is totally over the top.

Why don't you get one set of grandparents at time to come with you to pick her up after her first day.

The first day is overwhelming for many children. I would not even invite the grandparents to drop off or pick up for the first day.

caughtinanet · 15/04/2019 19:54

Oh my, please tell me all those people are going to wait and watch from the school gates? No way should you be taking so many people along with you, that's just silly

DaisyDreaming · 15/04/2019 19:54

I think 6 let alone 9 is insane. I also think how nice, some children have no love and not a single adult who takes an interest and your daughter has so many :)