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Original poster

I would like to help you, don't be afraid

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 10/04/2019 18:24

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I'm unfettered by either knowledge or training. Please step inside my friendly advice clinic staffed with a team of kindly agony aunts.

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DanglyTassles · 13/04/2019 10:08

She was you know!!

She's a very good driver and was being an excellent tour guide on the mike!

thigh was making sarky comments and we all had a hilarious jaunt!

This is how we can all do stuff together! In dreams!

CarolinePooter · 13/04/2019 10:09

Maybe we should go upmarket for our celebrations?

I would like to help you, don't be afraid
thislido · 13/04/2019 10:10

I hope my tour was in verse

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 13/04/2019 10:11

But who's rowing CP? Not me, obviously.

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DanglyTassles · 13/04/2019 10:11

this I wasn't sure of our destination but am sure it must have been that!

thigh did you drink the dairy milk? I like the sound of that! Super-fast chocolate!!

Hey this can you steer a boat?

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 13/04/2019 10:13

DT astral meetups, you've hit upon the solution. What about that film that i can't understand "Inception", it would be like that.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 13/04/2019 10:14

If we were on a boat wouldn't the piss get chilly? Plus our exposed arses for cooling.

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pineapplebryanbrown · 13/04/2019 10:15

Is it possible to take over the world via tweeting?

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DanglyTassles · 13/04/2019 10:16

Oh dear I haven't seen that film. I'll watch it later if I can be arsed, I've no attention span for a whole film. Or I could just read up on wikipedia.

But yes, we'll meet up on the astral plane without moving at all!

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 13/04/2019 10:19

DT don't bother watching it, it's too hard to understand. But astral projection is how we see each other and socialise. I'm going on a lion ride round the estate later if anyone want to come.

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DanglyTassles · 13/04/2019 10:20

Yes please thigh I'd love to!

I found this description of the film:

Stars Leonardo DiCaprio as a professional thief who steals information by infiltrating the subconscious, and is offered a chance to have his criminal history erased as payment for the implantation of another person's idea into a target's subconscious.

Can we not all just implant ideas into each other's subconscious anyway by speech?

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 13/04/2019 10:21

I've got a neighbour a few doors away that i hate a lot, and that's not like me. Let's shit in her garden as she watches from the window.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 13/04/2019 10:22

DT well exactly, also criminal history, who cares. Just break into the IT system and erase it.

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DanglyTassles · 13/04/2019 10:23

Yes ok! I'll save up a big one for her!

She must be bad thigh because you usually find your neighbours utterly charming!

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 13/04/2019 10:23

Speaking of Leo de Cap apparently he has the biggest cock in Hollywood, him or Wesley Snipes.

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thislido · 13/04/2019 10:24

The only problem is the fringe benefit she gains from your free fertiliser.

DanglyTassles · 13/04/2019 10:27

Hmmm ... I know! We'll throw zoflora on her garden instead!!

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 13/04/2019 10:29

She's a prison warden DT can you imagine doing that on purpose? She loves it.

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pineapplebryanbrown · 13/04/2019 10:29

DT no Z talk!

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pineapplebryanbrown · 13/04/2019 10:31

But how would you confirm who has a bigger cock? If you said to Leo "who's cock is bigger, yours or Wesley Snipes?" I doubt you'd get a straight answer. So inaccessible.

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Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 13/04/2019 10:33

Thislido could extrapolate the tea idea for a whole flask. Throw in 4 tea bags and the tea makes itself for the whole day.

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DanglyTassles · 13/04/2019 10:37

Why don't we become actresses, land parts in major films and then shag them both and measure?

That's all people do in Hollywood anyway, they just shag each other!

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 13/04/2019 10:39

I'm being attacked

I would like to help you, don't be afraid
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pineapplebryanbrown · 13/04/2019 10:41

DT i can't see any flaws in that plan, apart from the effort it would take. What about Reginald? She's artistic, she can do it and take photos with a ruler beside the cocks.

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DanglyTassles · 13/04/2019 10:45

Yes let's get Reg on it. I can't go for acting lessons, I hate school!