I would like to help you, don't be afraid

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I'm unfettered by either knowledge or training. Please step inside my friendly advice clinic staffed with a team of kindly agony aunts.

Daytime tv is way madder than thighland.

I’ve just seen a man dress up as a banana on Come Dine With Me because his host had a morbid fear of bananas. He was clearly not wearing pants and they filmed his hairy rear flapping as he chased the screaming host around the house.

And the adverts are mad. People pretending to be toddlers while eating sweets. And there are people out there who worry about bacteria in their carpets

lido I did consider going freelance in my week of reflection. But I fear my lack of willingness to work would hamper my hustling abilities.

I was worried about that. So far people have just showed up and asked me to do stuff. It’s been unexpectedly easy.

Get a load a this thisters:

I've been ill all day with a migraine and dh is saying it's because I was drinking excessively on a school night - just because I was!!

His face is like this and is saying something like 'moan, moan, moan, moan!'

Shall I murder him or just let him finish cleaning the house first?

I reckon you should get him to do a few more jobs then say that you're feeling a lot better and crack open the booze again.

You can kill him if you want but is he not handy for some things?

dangly, let him live for now. Don't do anything hasty. You can't un-kill him, but you can always kill him later. Give him time to regret his hasty words. You were only drinking because you sensed the beginning of a migraine. It was medicinal.

If he thinks it’s because you were drinking then the logical thing would be to give you another drink so you go back to processing whichever alcohol it is your body prioritises before it gets to the second phase of processing which makes you feel shit.

Sympathy on the migraine.

You could give him a meaningful look and ask him why he thinks you feel compelled to do this. Might stop the moaning.

Thank you thisters! I knew I could depend on you to give me sound advice!

You're right! Killing is irreversible and he's doing chores that I'll never be arsed doing!

I can't even be arsed to kill him in any case!

this you make a fair point it is all his fault for makimg me want to drink! Drinking makes this face look more like this face and then I feel like we get along!

Also you are very right in that he realistically should be now pouring me another drink!

Instead of banging around cleaning the bathroom!

I don't know! Men!!

Do we have to produce a art for our Anniversary Party? Poetry, song or drawing?

I feel i express myself better through the medium of words than pictures.

I could do a song but you'll never know if I'm singing it well or not online!

Yes, there must be art! We must use whatever medium makes us most Thigh.

dangly not killing (for now) is a good call. You don't want to mess up the house he has been cleaning. He owes you big time for not being sympathetic to your migraine that you have suffered heroically all day. Whose to say it's school night drinking induced. Is he a judgemental doctor? Black mark Mr Dangly.

I have done some non related penguin art.

Wow Summer. Is it a decision making penguin, what with the marble and the tick and cross? I hope so, I'd like a decision making penguin on account of my tendency to procrastinate.

wax yes!! Thank you for noticing. I nearly cried / threw up making the bastard but he has such sound judgement.

Perhaps we could ask it questions and you could get it to make the decisions for us and report back??

Penguin says yes. He is honoured.

He favours a 'no' I should point out. He is quite negative like that.

Brilliant! So......Should I do some work instead of pissing around on here wise penguin?

Oh and a more life threatening one - should I kill my mum because she irritates me or not and just continue to be polite to her?

Penguin shall i go to the opera or lie down and eat snax to celebrate Friday evening?

He said yes. He is an arsehole. I say no. It's Friday and you deserve a break. He just doesn't see the bigger picture. He is prone to micro management.