I would like to help you, don't be afraid

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I'm unfettered by either knowledge or training. Please step inside my friendly advice clinic staffed with a team of kindly agony aunts.

pooter they should show that before you’re allowed to join mn. Would save a lot of time

polarpig give us a clue
Who is it that appeals to you?

polar is it a tiny, disappointing Edward Cullen?

The man who did our after school staff training last night, he's gorgeous

Once they let me do a rhyme
I start to do it all the time
It will come as no surprise
I think it's time for beddy-byes!

I used to live a happy life
Replete with simple pleasures
The fact that I am not a wife
Was one of many treasures

But then suddenly
Out of the blue
What could it be?
This something new?

I had stumbled upon the Land of Thigh
So full of violence and of joy
I uttered such a happy sigh
Nothing here would me annoy

Polar, here, take my mums net
And capture this man, as your pet

The wind has changed
I’m stuck in verse
Not to worry
It could be worse

Tomorrow I must go off to work
In the PowerPoint slide factory
If only I had learnt to twerk
I could have been an actuary

Why is it that I’m all alone
Is no one left this evening ?
Time to get on to the phone
To do some heavy breathing.

Night thisters
You blasted
Old barstards

Bastards

Oh wait! I see that Dog
Will soon be returning
I expect that she will want to snog
But alas, it’s sleep I’m yearning
I’ll have to hope that Ian
Her doggy friend of choice
Will later here be in
To charm her with his voice.

Do we really have to speak in rhyme?
I fear I will not have the time!

Did that potential cunt woman join us?

thigh I'm here!

Oh didn't you mean me? I'm potentially a cunt too!

Th'morning!!

DT technically we're all cunt women, i think we just have taken to flashing ours more than most.

Can you remind me of the purpose of the thread? Are we here to provide succour to fallen gentlewomen?

Well I am here and am potentially a cunt and potentially a woman!!

I wonder what this day will bring?

Will we have new thisters with new problems to worsen?

Will we write more thoems?

Look at this one DT don't go fetch just yet. Let's just discuss them

I think that person seems like one of us but may potentially make a play for my Throne. Then I'll get jealous and sulk, you know how i get.

Yes she is made of thigh stuff but also yes she may well stage a coup!

Not sure we can take the risk!

But if you change your mind I'll zip over on my wire and reel her into our thold(s)

Morning thisters! I think the curse of verse wore off in the night, but it may yet return, I’m already rhyming things in my head but I’m trying to contain it. I notice the punters were no more appreciative of my advice delivered in verse.

She looks like she has the required inventive streak. A note of flippancy creeps in. Perhaps that will protect the throne. I’d like to say we’d all defend you but noway has already tried to auction it to the highest bidder and Caroline will probably try and exhibit it at the Ideal Home Show.

I’ve got to do a fucking conference call. 8 am on a Friday. I’m ready for a nap. Everyone should work on GMT, we are the centre of the world after all.

The other cunt was perhaps alarmed by the verse.

Yes maybe she was intimidated by the array of awesome talent on display and backed away slowly!

Maybe she ust backed away slowly!