I would like to help you, don't be afraid

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I'm a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I'm unfettered by either knowledge or training. Please step inside my friendly advice clinic staffed with a team of kindly agony aunts.

I feel like dangly was more diplomatic in reeling people in lido

Well if she wants diplomacy she’s fucked here.

I can smell chocolate but i can't see it, it's a haunting aroma. I'm not worried as it's not the smell of imaginary burning rubber.

Trying to work out which DWJ books I loved as a kid I noticed there’s one call Dark Lord.

I have severe Fleabag withdrawal symptoms, please help.

Why?

I mean, why Fleabag?

There was a Dark Lord?? I didn’t come up with this name, I believe it was thigh. Must be the well of thighland consciousness.

Ruffle what is Fleabag? I know MrsCat has a violent cat who might want treating. Or thigh might have fleas. It’s a definite possibility.

Mrs M, can I say, if you’re still here, that live always wanted to be on a thread with you because I’ve noticed (I think I’m remembering the right name) you being really kind to people on other threads. I was going to write you a thoem but I couldn’t make it rhyme.

Should we give all our advice in verse from now on?

Aw, this

I’d do poems but I’m a bit pissed

I'm wondering if all time
We only ever speak in rhyme

But soon it will get very hard
For i am not a natural bard

lido you definitely should!

MrsM you will shame us with your niceness!

How do I stop my 14 month old from grabbing my ear when he is drinking from a battle?

If we had a wing-ed lion
We could all take turns to fly on.

But Dog, you are!
You’ve set the bar!

KP Drinking from a battle...that sounds like our sort of person. Send them along for when we go on our next murdering spree. They can drink all the bodies dry, to make disposal less messy.

Kpo58

Affix a fake ear upon your ear
And grab it will your little dear
Off your head the ear will come
Which will traumatise him some.

Am I being unreasonable
To moan at all things seasonal
Should I hate my neighbour
Because they still vote Labour
Does my bum look big in this
Should I give botox a miss
Is my darling very bright
And therefore is allowed to fight
Should I peep at hubby's phone
Or would I rather keep my home
Tell me ladies, help me please
I'm asking you on bended knees
Do you really give a piss
If my bum looks big in this

Kpo58

Another thing that you could try
Is to put on a protective hat
You might find that it makes him cry
But it will put a stop to that

Caroline

Y-A-B-V-V-U
Is that what you want to do?
I don’t think you are the type
To want to create a hype
So how about instead my dear
You sit down and have a beer?

I fancy the person who did the twilight training session last night,

We are really rocking this verse
It is a sort of natural curse

I must away to have a shower,
I'll see you all within the hour