Is Your Life Shit? I can solve all your problems

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I am a kindly non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and I run a lovely advice clinic. Please bring me your problems and I will solve them, forever.

Please advise me, shall I go out tomorrow night? Just can't decide. Thank you in advance

I have a sore back.

Should I do my planned ascent of Everest, or curl up on a sofa with chocolate and the TV remote?

I can't be bothered with all things adult its hard work

What colour shall I have my front door painted?

I don't want grey or muted colours such as sage green.

My house is called Sunny House and I have a vibrant sun sign next to the door which is currently white.

Well i can give you both the same advice! Do nothing, nothing at all. Lie down, wear a slanket, eat, snack, relax and nap.

PH don't do anything you don't like. Just smile and shrug and point helpfully at a passerby.

Palo you should paint it marzipan, the same as my hallway.

I have a wisdom tooth coming through. It doesn't hurt yet but I have only ever heard bad stories about wisdom teeth that result in hours on a dentist chair while they dig it out. Is the pain going to wait till Saturday when I'm going out-out?

I need to move house. My son 17 and 3/4 yrs old does not want to move house. He also does not wish to leave home and live independently. What would you sugesst I do to reslove this impass? Thanks in advance.

Stay in my safe, easy, school hour job or take new job that means working some evenings and weekends but may lead to better things?

Mish what kind of better things? World domination or the possibility of not working any more? They’re really the only two things we should strive for.

How can I get through the Easter holidays with £28?

teyem they don’t dig it out, they knock it out with a little hammer. Fact. It’s remarkably good fun.

My female boss is an unmitigated tool bag.

my husband is going out tonight. What shall I watch on Netflix?

How much do I cut off the top of a leek?

I'm caught in a situation at work, where I'm trying to be courteous and supportive to my two colleagues who LOATHE one another. If I'm nice to one the other calls me a creep, if I'm nice to the other one the first one tells me I'm two-faced.

What shall I do? We are all - unbelievably - senior management.

My cup of tea tastes of bum

Project whose bum?

Why is my self-worth so low? I'm a confident person, had a lovely life so far and have lots going for me but I don't have any faith in myself and don't actually like myself. I live a good life (I think) but am a terminal people pleaser. How can I change this?

ProjectGainsborough did you boil the water in a hotel kettle?

name oh you really have come to the right place. You must never, ever do anything for anyone. From now on, you're a woman who won't. You need to relax, then nap.

@Palominoo bright yellow?

Dog nibble it till it tastes like cock then hack it to pieces with a machete called Betty.

Warm give your son your house and run away, enter the witness protection programme and marry Tony Soprano.