I want a cat, but how do I make sure I get one that’s not an arsehole?

[GottaGetUp]

One that will be friendly and sit on my lap and purr, and not just hit my face at 5am for breakfast and then fuck off out until it gets hungry again?

Or are they all arseholes who let you pet them just often enough that you’ll keep feeding them?

There's no fool roof way, but your OP made me laugh, so thank you!

All cats are arseholes!

I say that as a cat lover, with two pampered moggies.

From my (very limited) experience they are all arseholes when young. Older cats always seem to be lovely. I have never had a cat though 😂

How many RL cats have you met? 😼

Well I've not had one that sat on my lap and purred. Closest I came to show of affection was baby rabbit ears left on the doormat 🙈
I have always had female cats and did read somewhere make cats are far friendlier. I think this might be my mistake 😁🐈🐈🐈

• male

I have never had a cat, but in laws used to have two cats, one of which was a rescue who had never really let anyone near her, but she would sit on my lap and purr. She was quite old by then I suppose.

Get a pair of Siamese but keep them as indoor only cats

Get an Abyssinian or Somali preferably a non kitten via welfare you can get a retired Queen.

They very much bond to their humans, think Velcro as soon as you sit down!

I'd get an older rescue cat. They can usually tell you a bit about their personality from what they've seen. Kittens are more unpredictable.

My male cat is very cuddly now, he is about 8 but wasn't when we first rescued him 5 years ago

Cats are only in it for the food, and the warmest spot in the house.

My cat isn't an arsehiole, bit is a serious PITA.
Follows me round the house. Everywhere. It's jumped in the bloody shower once and scrambled around like some drunk in an ice-rink.
Sleeps on the top stair.
Tries to sleep in the crook of my neck.
Attacks my socks from under the bed when I'm getting dressed.
Meows at the front door, you open it, she walks away, so you close it again.
She thinks the top of a cupboard door is a perfect place to try and sleep.

She's great :D

They're all arseholes imo.

The only time mine comes anywhere near me is when I'm on the bog, or she's trying to get in my bedroom to sleep in my bed (like climbing under the covers and nearly getting flattened because she thought I wouldnt notice) or when she's feeling poorly/out of sorts.

Any other time she calls me a cunt in cat language.

Get an older rescue cat. They will know their personalities already and older cats are more chilled and affectionate as a rule.

Do not get a kitten; I adore the fluffy bones of my cat but he still hasn't grown out of randomly biting me at 3 years old and he doesn't sleep on anyone's lap.

Burmese cats are lovely very snuggley and affectionate, sit on your lap and get into bed with you.

Agree with PP all cats are arseholes, just when I think one of mine is mellowing, they do something like, letting me walk past and then clawing my foot

A standard mog around 5 years old is a good bet. Be gentle and loving, talk to him/her, play and offer treats. They’ll still be an arsehole but they’ll be YOUR arsehole!

To be fair all cats are arseholes but I am firmly in the BSH, camp affectionate 🤗 let me blow raspberries on their tummies and give me joy every day

Head over to “The Litter Tray” topic. Loads of cat slaves in there.

We have year old sisters that we got when they were 8 weeks.

My mum always used to say that males were friendlier but they are the soppiest buggers ever.

They are also arseholes occasionally, suspect it's in the job description.

You can't. All cats are basically arseholes. Even the purring lap-sitting ones. It's just the way it is. HTH.

There is no guarantee. You can get an idea of a cat's personality and temperament from previous owners info and how they are with humans whilst in a rehoming centre but who knows exactly what that cat will be like. 5am may be breakfast time, they may be quite a hunter or as it turns out with ours quite a scrapper and hater of other cats.
I think going for an older adult cat they may be calmer..... Our previous cat was pretty laid back-she was 6 when we adopted her and was very quiet, no fighting or silliness at stupid o'clock. Friendly and no biting or scratching. No one could have described her as an arsehole. She was particularly chilled.

I've always found males to be more affectionate. My oldest likes to curl up in my arms like a baby, always has done. My youngest likes a cuddle but totally different personality, loves to cause trouble and wreck carpets etc. Definitely luck of the draw.

We adopted two blind street cats from Bulgaria. They're the friendliest cats I've ever known! My (completely untested) pet (geddit?) theory is that street cats have evolved to be human-friendly (ie the ones that approach humans get fed, and reproduce etc).

We got ours from the 'special needs' sub category of "world animal friends" on Facebook.

PS they're very friendly, but also arseholes with a penchant for destroying my crochet and deliberately knocking stuff off the mantelpiece.

Aw! All cats are not arseholes. Just misunderstood.

We have rehomed three cats. One was an absolute honey but it took weeks and weeks of extreme patience to tempt her out of one room and then into another and so on. She was a house cat as the world was just too very scary. She was a wee petal. We were told she was semi-feral and would never be a lap cat. We took a big risk.

Current pussies are siblings and really variable. They are complete and utter fannies in their own special ways but they are both immense with the kids. Very, very patient and gentle. We do live in an absolute pigstie of mud and filth that they drag in and I could live without the rodent gifts. They aren’t lap cats but love sitting next to people.

So frankly it’s a total lottery. We were told British shorthairs were reliably soft and gentle and while those I have met are, none have been lap cats.

Rag dolls are apparently big softies