This is the only way.
I have one that adores being cuddled, will sit against my foot or side rather than clamber all over me and has never lifted so much as a single claw against me.
He's a fucking dickhead.
Yesterday, he landed in my dinner. Didn't mean to (he was trying to steal DP's), but he landed headfirst into mine.
Today, he has followed me into the bathroom and, rather than just talk to me about his morning (ie, prior to 7am), he has decided at the age of 8 that now is the perfect time to start murdering the last toilet roll. He then hid under the towel and started pouncing on my feet whilst I was in mid-pee.
He then wandered into the back garden and laid down amongst the potatoes, came back and needed a three hour sleep to recover from his one hour sleep.
He's now wandering about, wailing at DP because, well - he can.
He's disabled, doesn't leave the garden, can't scratch his ear without falling over and is eternally happy.
But he's still a fucking TwatCat.