Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

I want a cat, but how do I make sure I get one that’s not an arsehole?

249 replies

GottaGetUp · 30/03/2019 20:49

One that will be friendly and sit on my lap and purr, and not just hit my face at 5am for breakfast and then fuck off out until it gets hungry again?

Or are they all arseholes who let you pet them just often enough that you’ll keep feeding them?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
35
squee123 · 31/03/2019 09:57

You could foster cats for a local charity until you find one you particularly bond with and then adopt that one. That way you give a much needed home to cats in need whilst finding the right one for your family

Oldraver · 31/03/2019 10:17

We don't have a lap cat but do have one that will actually cuddle me. He's taken to coming and tapping my leg wanting head rubs and will now let me put him on my lap where he throws his arms around my hand to keep it on his head and won't let go. Never had a cat like it

He's still a twat than woke me up at 5am despite being waisted on by his Dad at 4am. Coz now he's tired

I want a cat, but how do I make sure I get one that’s not an arsehole?
lubeybooby · 31/03/2019 10:27

I'd say your best chance is to have one from a kitten that's been well handled when young

During the 'imprinting' age, which I think is between 2 and 4 weeks old, they need handling like a vet would, touching their paws, tummy and tail, pet them and exposure to noises like the hoover

Then you have a chance of a cat that is chilled out, easy to take to the vet, like being stroked etc

The only way to acheive this is rescue of a pregnant cat and do the imprinting of the kittens yourself (really not practical) or get one from a breeder or rescue place that understand imprinting and rehoming

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Cats
Adversecamber22 · 31/03/2019 10:51

You don’t choose a cat they choose you.

Our cat got on DH shoulders like a parrot at the rescue, she still likes to do this and he bends down so she can get on his shoulders. She also shouts at us indignantly if we are out of the house for too long in her opinion. She loves sitting on our laps.

ememem84 · 31/03/2019 10:56

My girl was a rescue. We got her when she was just about a year. She’d been living feral after being dumped outside by her previous owners when she was a kitten.

She hid behind a chair for 3 months and hissed at us every time we walked past. But then one day hopped up on the couch next to me. Turns out I was pregnant....

Anyway. She’s now the softest most protective wont leave me alone for a second sleeps on the bed with us purr machine.

She also pats my face at 530/6am because she’s really going to starve this time.

We’ve just let her outside after 3 years of not having a garden etc. She’s enjoying it and keeps running back in meowing at me and looking for approval.

HarrySnotter · 31/03/2019 11:02

We've had our cat since we found him half dead in our garden on Christmas Eve 4 years ago. He was tiny and very poorly and we spent a fortune on vets bills to get him back to health. How does he repay us? I'll tell you how, by being Dicky McDickface, that's how. I swear he's trying to kill me, but I love him. Fuck knows why.

vampirethriller · 31/03/2019 11:08

They're all bastards.

berkshirecat · 31/03/2019 11:11

We have 2 cats who are both a total PITA... but actually because they are too affectionate! They are both brothers and we got them as kittens and from day 1 they have been totally obsessed with us... they are very confident, follow us everywhere we go, love getting fuss from strangers. They are now nearly 2 and one of them in particular likes to spoon both DP and I every night and cries if we won't let him Hmm

They're really funny and despite everything I've just said, not very needy. The house feels super quiet every time they go away (they often stay at my mums if we are going away etc). DP wasn't convinced when we first got them but now he loves them!

ForalltheSaints · 31/03/2019 11:28

Sorry, forgot to post a picture of the rescue cat that used to greet people at our local Waitrose and passed away 2 months ago.

I want a cat, but how do I make sure I get one that’s not an arsehole?
WhatNow40 · 31/03/2019 11:35

We adopted our arsehole when he was 4. Ignored DH completely for the first 6 years and only ever cuddled me. But he also likes to wee on things that smell of me. Like handbags and shoes. Whenever he finds his way in to the wardrobe he leaves another piss puddle. Arsehole.

He's 14 now and very much a lap cat, even snuggling up with DH. I think he's mellowed with age but also more whinny, just less fighty than in his youth.

I want a cat, but how do I make sure I get one that’s not an arsehole?
abracadabraba · 31/03/2019 11:38

They're all arseholes bit you'll soon end up that in true arsehole style that you can't function without it.

ememem84 · 31/03/2019 11:48

This is mygirl. I forgot to post her picture earlier. She’s a big girl (6kg...) but a super softie now. Although annoying. She insisted on coming into the bathroom with me this morning so I could have a wee.

Apparently now I’m pregnant again I need constant supervision.

I want a cat, but how do I make sure I get one that’s not an arsehole?
FartersDay · 31/03/2019 11:59

You will 100 percent get an arsehole because they are all arseholes.

We had a few sneak in under the guise of being lap cats only to stop once we moved them in Hmm

crazycatlady7 · 31/03/2019 12:01

I foster rescue cats, and would recommend looking at a rescue that fosters. The cats live with the family and we know their personality. Don't get a kitten- I have much more success with 6 months + for being cuddly- I have 3 cats, Phoebe from 9 months- she's affectionate on her terms but pretty much lives on me. Louie who I got at 6 months and he is very independent but will come up to you for kisses and cuddle. And Willow I got at 8 weeks- she is not affectionate, she is independent and seeks the attention from the other two cats. All are failed fosters I haven't parted with. The cats I have homed- if I have worked out they are affectionate they get more affectionate when they leave me, the independent ones generally stay independent and don't want fuss.

origamiunicorn · 31/03/2019 12:06

I've only ever met one non arsehole cat. A pub cat that has taken a liking to me and just comes over for cuddles and stays at my feet the whole time.

All other cats just come to me because they want food.

DareDevil223 · 31/03/2019 12:11

I've had cats all my life and most have arseholish tendencies but the love and cuddles more than make up for it. My cat is a total love bug lap cat but he still attacks my feet and leaves hairballs for me to step in.
I love him to pieces and wouldn't be without him Smile

I want a cat, but how do I make sure I get one that’s not an arsehole?
dreaming174 · 31/03/2019 12:37

Oh you just can't tell.
I've had two pairs of siblings, and in both, there's 1 who loves attention, cannot be around you enough, will cuddle as long as you like, and another who isn't that interested. Good luck in your search!

Wheretheresawill1 · 31/03/2019 13:13

I have a siamese. Very loving. Far too intelligent which they use to show you who’s boss. I recommend them just as long as you know you will be owned by them

BigStripeyBastard · 31/03/2019 13:30

My beast is nearly 7 kilos of pure bastard.
He was originally either an unchipped escapee or a stray street moggie from the arse end of Leeds.
He is massive (not fat though, apart from his slightly saggy belly, he is pure muscle, fur and attitude), thick as two short planks and he is a truly handsome animal.
He isn't necessarily violent in a malevolent fashion but he just doesn't get that my skin is not claw-proof and he generally goes through life claws out. I am permanently sporting wounds to my hands where I have stupidly attempted a head scratch when he's just not up for it or he has decided it's dinner time and I selfishly haven't acknowledged this. He has the most gentle, girly little miaow you have ever heard, except at four in the morning when he practises his air-raid siren impression, just for something to do.
He will blank me and seem irritated at my mere existance when I want to stroke him. When I am busy or asleep, he will hurl all seven kilos of twattery into my midsection, where he will proceed to pummel me endlessly like a Turkish masseuse on speed. Then he will sprawl on me until he sees fit to leave.
He steals my food, attacks my feet, once punched me in the nose and gave me a nosebleed and, on one memorable occasion, murdered a woodpecker.
He is an arsehole and I love him unconditionally.

I want a cat, but how do I make sure I get one that’s not an arsehole?
TheFirstOHN · 31/03/2019 13:34

I have one that sits on my lap and purrs.

Is this love / affection?

She only does it on cold evenings and in the winter, so I suspect that any warm object would get similar treatment.

Greyhound22 · 31/03/2019 13:38

My friend had two older male British Shorthaired from a rescue. They were retired show cats or something. I think they are arseholes in a 'can't help it I'm a cat' way but they seem pretty into being fussed and sitting in laps.

WiseUpJanetWeiss · 31/03/2019 13:46

I’ve had two female sisters from being kittens, who were very friendly and cuddly on their own terms, and were quirky but hardly ever behaved like arseholes.

When they were quite old a stray male moved in. He was mostly cuddly with a tendency to occasionally sink his teeth into the forearm of whoever was underneath him. He only had a few teeth and was the size of a rabbit so it wasn’t too bad. He also used to swear horribly at all the neigbourhood cats, which was quite embarassing, and liked to drop onto the other cats from a high place.

Now I have an inherited one-eyed former rescue boy who insists on hugs, shouts a lot, and goes round telling all the neighbours that I starve him cruelly.

Toddlerteaplease · 31/03/2019 17:53

Get a Persian. Docile, sweet, affectionate and not very quite. Need to be indoor cats for their own safety.

Toddlerteaplease · 31/03/2019 17:54

There are praise rescues.

DrMadelineMaxwell · 31/03/2019 18:36

I agree with maybe getting an older rescue so you have half an idea of what their personality is like. There is really no way to tell though.

Our first, rescue kitten - jumped on heads at 6am to be fed. Loved DH and was his lap cat. Loved chasing around. Lived til he was 20.

Our 2nd, boycat was got from a friend whose boy cat was actually a girl and who had a litter of kits before they realised. He SHUNNED Dh and I and made a beeline for the dc every time. Broke their hearts when he died at age 2 from a brain tumor.

We got a brother and sister rescue pair of kittens 18 months ago. At first, the girl tabby was aloof and only spent her time upstairs with the DC. Her brother was usually glued to DH. Slept on his shoulder. Sat on his chest - never his lap - and would get there by leaping straight up from the floor. And he was quite a weight. DH cursed and cursed him. Then missed him terribly when a local dog spooked him and he legged it under a neighbour's gate, where he got stuck and died at the age of one. Broke the dd's hearts again - especially DD1, who found him in the field like that.

His sister, now she has the house to herself, has come right out of her shell and sleeps wherever she fancies. And is now more of a lap cat - although she prefers sitting on your chest than your lap and also, typically, prefers dh to me too.

She has, so far this week, brought in 5 mice and a rat.