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Original poster

I want a cat, but how do I make sure I get one that’s not an arsehole?

249 replies

GottaGetUp · 30/03/2019 20:49

One that will be friendly and sit on my lap and purr, and not just hit my face at 5am for breakfast and then fuck off out until it gets hungry again?

Or are they all arseholes who let you pet them just often enough that you’ll keep feeding them?

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TheNavigator · 30/03/2019 23:09

My cat is a needy whingebag of an arsehole. Total moggy, rescue kitten, they lure you with their cuteness then trade on it forever. I would not have her any other way. Remember, we did not tame them like dogs, they just chose to coexist with us. So it is like having a teeny lion or leopard. They are apex predators and that is how they see the world. I would not want an overbred rag doll type cat. My moggy is a wild animal that shares my life - and doesn't she make sure I remember that!

roundligament · 30/03/2019 23:17

You can have mine she's house trained.
I swear she isn't an arse hole

Sukkermus · 30/03/2019 23:20

I had the sweetest ,most adorable, lovely bundle of loving and attention craving , purring ball of black and white friendly puss cat!
He lived until he was 17 and died 12 years ago and I still well up if I think of him. I have never had another cat since .I loved him and he loved me and anyone who paid him any attention So the non asshole variety do exist!

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Cats
sw19007 · 30/03/2019 23:21

My cat is 3- we've had him since he was a little kitten. Loves sitting on our laps and purring, loves cuddles, super affectionate. Goes out in the day but always reappears. Never had myself down as a cat person but he is gorgeous. Luck of the draw though I guess.

YesQueen · 30/03/2019 23:23

@Smotheroffive GrinGrin balloon dogs!

donquixotedelamancha · 30/03/2019 23:27

Get a pair of Siamese but keep them as indoor only cats

Then look after a relative's dog and child. In the chaos which ensues, blame the dog for attacking the baby until the dog runs off.

Don't forget to film it all and upload to YouTube, so that when the inevitable live action remake of Lady and the Tramp comes round, you are ready to take Disney to the cleaners.

MintyCedric · 30/03/2019 23:34

My furry arseholes...wouldn't post earlier Smile

I want a cat, but how do I make sure I get one that’s not an arsehole?
BrusselPout · 30/03/2019 23:34

In my experience, male cats are more affectionate generally, all the girls have been much more aloof (but total snuggle bums on their terms)

Definitely go for older rescue cats, kittens are great but a nightmare for a few years, they have more of an idea about the older ones personality - although please remember that being in rescue can be very stressful for them, so you might not see their true personality for a little while - ours were very timid for a few months but are super affectionate (and rule the house!) now

Gingerkittykat · 30/03/2019 23:51

Every ginger cat I've ever met has been incredibly friendly. No idea if thats a coincidence but others have said the same.

My ginger boy is an absolute arsehole. He loves DD only, bites my other cat, has never sat on a lap in 8 years (sleeps with DD every night though) and runs around like a manic jumping on top of doors and running full pelt into the shower screen.

My black cat is lovely, but it took him years of being stand offish to get to now wanting to be physically attached to me 24/7. Of course this now drives me crazy, black cats should not sit in dark doorways if they don't want stood on.

I love them both dearly.

I would get an older cat if you want a lap cat.

babyno5 · 30/03/2019 23:55

@GottaGetUp sorry they're all arseholes! Dogs have owners but cats have servants 🤷‍♀️

Smotheroffive · 30/03/2019 23:57

sideorder firstly have concerns about your fear of being outted !?!?

Secondly, that thing that your dcat and mine does, fucking boob walking!! All the time, sometimes with claws out, as if scaling a mountain

TheZeppo · 31/03/2019 00:00

I was adopted by two of the black and white beasts. Send help.

I want a cat, but how do I make sure I get one that’s not an arsehole?
Rockbird · 31/03/2019 02:29

Two rescues here, both arseholes. Girlcat is the biggest arsehole. She pesters you till you pet her but the minute you reach your hand out she fucks off. Then she sits a little further away and pesters you again. Repeat ad nauseam.

Boycat lies on his back and lets you snuggle him and pet him, purrs contentedly, closes his eyes in blissful relaxation...then the little fucker sinks his teeth into your hand. Hmm

Both of them yell for food, watch you put it out and then fuck off without touching it. Little arseholes. My gorgeous little arseholes!

ICantBelieveIDidThis · 31/03/2019 02:43

All cats are arseholes, but they're so beautiful we forgive them anything.

Broken11Girl · 31/03/2019 03:01

All cats are arseholes Grin (sorry, probably 12,087th post saying that).
I may have called one of mine one and numerous other names today
You just have to find one that's relatively low on the arseholeishness spectrum, and that has traits that make up for it. Both mine will sit on my lap and are very purry snd affectionate - on their terms.
Definitely get an adult rescue cat, the rescue will know a bit about them, and should let you go and meet a few cats you're interested in, and spend a bit of time with them so you find one you connect with.

Ruru8thestars · 31/03/2019 03:03

Siamese - lovely, cuddly and chatty.

RockinHippy · 31/03/2019 03:05

All cats are arseholes, it's the law!!

But it will have you wrapped around its beanie paw in no time & you won't care one bit 🤷🏼‍♀️

SpaceCadet4000 · 31/03/2019 03:07

I have 2 (very) cuddly boys- our Saturday night routine now is DH and I sitting down to watch a movie with a cat snuggled between us.

We don't ever feed them early in the morning, so they don't wake us up for food. Ours cuddle more when it's cold, which is a good incentive to keep our heating bills low too! We don't fuss or fiddle with them, so I think that makes them feel safe enough to cuddle.

They are dickheads, but their cuteness and the snuggles make up for it.

I want a cat, but how do I make sure I get one that’s not an arsehole?
I want a cat, but how do I make sure I get one that’s not an arsehole?
RockinHippy · 31/03/2019 03:12

Though thinking on it further, from a flaky hippy POV, get yourself a Libra Cat😆.

I've had 2, both very different cats, 1 Tom one female. 1 Mainecoon, 1 beautiful blue & white moggy. Both have had the loveliest soppy natures, both have been nurse cats & guard dogs & both have been amazingly well behaved & easy to train.

Capricorn cats are gits though, they don't do rules, but are very very Entertaining - I'm looking at you black cat🤨

BarbedBloom · 31/03/2019 09:08

Yep, adding to the arsehole curious. We have two girls and they both love DH even though I do loads for them. Occasionally they will sit on me if no other options are available and then I forget they are arseholes.

FriedFoodFreud · 31/03/2019 09:12

Go to a rescue where you can choose from a bunch of them. Get the one that is most friendly towards you. There’s no guarantee that they won’t show their true arsehole colours once they get their paws under your table, but at least you’ve tried.

Don’t let it sleep in your room if you want to avoid the night time shenanigans.

EvaHarknessRose · 31/03/2019 09:26

We miss our ex neighbours cat he was so perfect - the garden this summer won’t be the same without him - but funnily enough he absolutely hated his owners.

ForalltheSaints · 31/03/2019 09:31

Cats vary, part of why they are so lovely. You are taking pot luck as to whether or not they will like sitting on your lap and be prepared to be patient as it may takes a while. FriedFoodFreud made a good suggestion.

DobbyTheHouseElk · 31/03/2019 09:49

SnoreCat jumped on my lap the first evening we had him. He stayed there all evening, It was so lovely. He hasn’t repeated it since.

Mner2019 · 31/03/2019 09:49

We have had 3 cats. Two were amazing - very low levels of arsehery - both since died. The one we have now (who came as an adult from a rescue with one of the nice ones), he takes arseholery to a whole new level.

He will sit on you and purr but only if you are sat in the right position. He will wait for you to realign yourself. He’s a scratchy, noisy, moody, bitey arsehole who fights with other cats and pretends to everyone else that he is lovely and misunderstood. He won’t use a litter tray, he is still cross about the cat flap - why can’t we be his doormen?

Fed up of him being a miserable arsehole and not wanting him to be our only pet for years, we got a dog! Who he nearly gets on ok with. Good luck OP.