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Original poster

Excluded from school. Year 1 aged 6.

227 replies

ItsTheGinTalking · 10/03/2019 10:37

I have posted in SN children but feel there may be more traffic here
Also if you feel this shouldn't be here do delete it MN as I've posted in SN. Thank you

Hi everyone
Been a while since I posted on MN. But I've never posted in this group before.
My 6 yr old child is struggling at school socially. He has a referral to cahms in, referral to Educational Pyschologist, Community Peadiateician, CFIT and a few others
He hits other children, kicks, nips, shouts.
This started at the back end of reception class. I noticed stuff at home and mentioned to school but because he didn't show the behaviour they didn't say or do anything.

Now he is terrorising the class. He has an IEP in place and does anger management with WESAIL through the local council.

Academically he is doing well and is on year 2 reading books, is brilliant at his maths and spelling. But socially is where he lets himself down as school say.

He prefers 1-1 support so will do something in class that gets him removed because he likes to sit in the headteacher or the deputy heads office because it's quiet and he has that 1-1 support.

He prefers adult company and has said many times he's hates other kids especially his age or younger.
He has been brought up with older brothers and adults.

On Friday at 2.25 I got a phone call to say could I go to school asap...He has been excluded for 1.5 days and is not allowed back till Tuesday as the 1.5 has been included with Friday

I have a reintergrating meeting at 3.15 on Tuesday when I collect him. But is there anything I need to ask or question?

TIA

OP posts:
Original poster
ItsTheGinTalking · 10/03/2019 10:39

I should also say the school have placed him on their SEN register

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 10/03/2019 10:45

You need to know what he was excluded for and how you and the school can work together to prevent it from happening again.

Does he have an EHCP? You need to get the ball rolling to get one and then you need a frank conversation about whether mainstream school is the place for him at the moment.

CatToddlerUprising · 10/03/2019 10:48

Is that school the right place for him? I think the school will take the stance (quite rightly) that they have to protect the safeguarding of other students as well as your DS. If he needs one to one- a different provision type may be better for a period of time. What does his IEP state?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

6 year olds Families General education Primary education
Original poster
ItsTheGinTalking · 10/03/2019 10:55

He punched a staff member(the class TA) in the face when she was helping him wuth his maths which they recognised that he found tricky and was boiling up.
He said on the way home
I have a weird feeling in my tummy...I asked what he meant and he said
I shouldn't have done what I did today.

The school is outstanding in ofstead for their SEN. He is in mainstream school yes

OP posts:
Original poster
ItsTheGinTalking · 10/03/2019 10:56

His IEP states to try strategies to try to calm him down when he is getting frustrated.

OP posts:
Nancy74 · 10/03/2019 11:03

Have you got an EHCP in progress? It sounds as though your son definitley needs one.

www.ipsea.org.uk/pages/category/exclusion-from-school have a look at this link from IPSEA about exclusion.

AornisHades · 10/03/2019 11:04

Have they requested an EHCNA to see if they can get him an EHCP? That would get the Ed Psych involved and a clear understanding of his needs.

underachieverspleasetryharder · 10/03/2019 11:08

Firstly make sure thr exclusion is a legal one and you receive the official paperwork.

At the reintegration meeting you need to be asking serious questions about support for your DS, and you need to start the EHCP process now, even if school try tell you it's not necessary/he won't get one.

cauliflowersqueeze · 10/03/2019 11:08

Has he punched other adults before when they are helping him? Or you?

I thought you were going to say he attacked another child because you said he prefers 1:1 with adults.
This exclusion could trigger better specialist provision for him.

Original poster
ItsTheGinTalking · 10/03/2019 11:12

Yes he hits kicks me and has hit his class teacher and nipped class TA numerous times. He trashes the classroom and they have to get the children out for their safety. He's been team reached a few times out of class too.
No he doesn't have an ehcp in place.

OP posts:
Original poster
ItsTheGinTalking · 10/03/2019 11:13

Team teached

OP posts:
Original poster
ItsTheGinTalking · 10/03/2019 11:14

He's not seen anyone professionally yet. Due to long waiting lists.

OP posts:
llangennith · 10/03/2019 11:17

OP this is awful for you and everyone concerned. There's a book called My Hidden Chimp that will help. It's £7.99 from Amazon. You read through it with the child and it's full of illustrations and very child-friendly.

Original poster
ItsTheGinTalking · 10/03/2019 11:18

What's an EHCNA?

OP posts:
Original poster
ItsTheGinTalking · 10/03/2019 11:19

Thank you I'll go look now.
I'm working Monday so he's having yo stay with his dad...were separated.
I just feel like the school jist want to exclude him and now they've done it once they can continue to do it and do it and do it untill he's permanently excluded.

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 10/03/2019 11:19

So he has no diagnosis? You need to push that and for an EHCP. Could you afford to go privately to see an EdPsych?

Original poster
ItsTheGinTalking · 10/03/2019 11:22

No he has no diagnosis.
No unfortunately I cannot afford to go private.

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 10/03/2019 11:22

I just feel like the school jist want to exclude him

No, that’s not how it works. Schools have to report their exclusions to ofsted. Schools want to keep their exclusions down to the bare minimum. But they have a duty of care to other pupils and to their staff. You say yourself he is repeatedly violent to them and now he’s punched one in the face. I think you need to be thankful they’ve not permanently excluded him for that one incident.

Darkbaptism · 10/03/2019 11:22

It sounds as if your DS needs a regular 1-1 who can calm your son before his behaviour escalates perhaps by taking him to a quite space/change of activity.
As already mentioned ask about an EHCP. The exclusion should work in your sons favour as it shows his needs can not be met currently at his school.

underachieverspleasetryharder · 10/03/2019 11:23

Even without a diagnosis there should be some sort of early help service in your area. Often called a TAF (team around the family) but it varies by area. They organise meetings with family and all professionals involved and make an action plan, then meet quarterly to review.

Original poster
ItsTheGinTalking · 10/03/2019 11:25

Yeah he can be violent and it's awful to see or hear about when the teacher is telling me. Yes they could have excluded him for longer I agree.
I will mention the ehcp at the meeting on Tuesday afternoon.

OP posts:
underachieverspleasetryharder · 10/03/2019 11:27

The exclusion will only work in your favour if it's a legal exclusion. So make sure you receive the appropriate paperwork from the school. If its an illegal exclusion they don't have to record it or report it to ofsted, and you have no prove it actually happened. Some schools are terrible for this so it's always best to check.

GreenTulips · 10/03/2019 11:27

Look think of the exclusion as a way to help you and your case for additional support

Schools jump through hoops to exclude kids and can not do this lightly - lots of paperwork and governors involved - it’s not a flash decision

Coronapop · 10/03/2019 11:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Darkbaptism · 10/03/2019 11:35

Shock @Coronapop