I can offer you solutions to all your problems

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I am a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and can solve anything, no matter how trivial.

Please enter my advice clinic where you will find kindly Agony Aunt services. My rules and solutions are mostly as follows:

1. Lie Down
2. No Guests
3. No One is Too Fat or Too Thin
4. No One Gets Told Off

Royal that is interesting. I DO like reading, texting and surfing the internet

It’s like the know me

Royal that is soo exiting!! It's practically porn! 👀

I’ve just been invited to a nipple tassle making workshop. Could this be a new career? Or a way to end my old career?

dangly want some? What colour?

I like it that it said the activities you can do in it are endless.

Silver on gold please Project It's about time I shake a tassle and waned a crust and a cream egg as 'Auld Bag' again.

• earned a crust

Project can you put my new tassels onto that lovely blanket Royal kindly brought to our attention!

I would be very comfortable at work in that!

Of course Dangly, I’ll get on it now.

I need to know what thigh’s legendary sickness advice was.

It is a very exciting blanket.

DP has just been removed from a fb group for stating that women don't have penises... whoops.

Well you know Royal maybe was harsh to remove him from the group, but to be purely factual I DO have a penis!

It's a stick-on one for part of my act! Come to think of it I will need a hole in my blanket for it to be viewed.

dangly that is something I'd love to see!

Oops royal I would join him up to FWR board on here that will keep him out your hair, as long as he doesnt start his posts 'Man here..' or they will probably kill him for you so either way is good.

small i would but he's huffing and puffing at the minute about how stupod people are...
I'll let him rant first. Maybe sign him up and get him killed next time he's bugging me.

Dangly would you like a tassle for your penis?

Royal I like the sound of your husband. Perhaps we could give him an honorary vagina and really set the cat amongst the pigeons.

Royal you would be most welcome to partake of my act. I am doing a turn at the Labour Club on the corner on Thursday. I shall send you complimentary tickets.

I used to be found in 'Fetish Corner' at Stringfellows but since old Stringy passed away I just couldn't get on with his widow, she was jealous because I was his favourite you see!

Oh I DO miss Stringy and his wandering hands.

Oh yes please Project. I'll be good for the money after Thursday matey!

Ooh it sounds exciting! Ill be there!

Oh God, please Dont give DP an honorary vagina. He'd never leave it alone.

Fair enough Royal

I’ll just keep this spare vagina back for emergencies.

Project sickness advice is labrynthitis, megalomania and lupus.

Lupus requires dressing up though - perhaps using a wax dipped dead wolf as an accessory.

Hey! Royal needs a new vagina, we were saving up to fund one for one for her upthread. She might have your spare one Project ?

Royal would you like a new fanny in gold on silver or silver on gold?

Could we have stick on genital of both varieties - I still have my pritt stick.

Dangly I'm glad you pissed on your phone - it gives me a lovely visual. Did you part your slanket first?

Ooh gold on silver please!