I can offer you solutions to all your problems

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I am a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and can solve anything, no matter how trivial.

Please enter my advice clinic where you will find kindly Agony Aunt services. My rules and solutions are mostly as follows:

1. Lie Down
2. No Guests
3. No One is Too Fat or Too Thin
4. No One Gets Told Off

oh my, sound the KLAXON we have been INVADED they've GOT TO THIGH

HUAAAAA AHHHHHH HUUUUUAAAGH HAAAAA HOOOOOO

Even the Dark Lord has never stooped to the level of using fruit in his evil experiments.

HAKKA FOR THE LOVE OF THIGHLAND HAKKA THISCIPLES
we must save thigh

HUAAAAAKKKKAAAAAAAAAAA

Where did all this lovely fresh produce come from. I was going to have burger and oven chips for tea but now i shall cook something complex and nutritious, something with kale. I really must shift some weight, i need to diet.

Oh nooo not the kale remember my bad arse not the kale NOT THE KALE

At least we've got a pre-made card for that one

Quick thigh eat this chocolate cheesecake I am posting you. Don't let the dogs get it chocolate is so bad for them so you must eat it all to save your dogs life

Eeeeeeek!!!

HUUUUUUAAAAAGH HUUUUUUAAAAAAAGH HUH HUGGH HUH

Yes the chocolate cake will SAVE YOUR DOG'S LIFE!! thigh

HUUUAGH HUAAAAAAGH HAHA HUAAAAGH

Quick thinking, Penguin!

Small thank you, that looks delicious but I'm low carbing.

My head feels so free, so light.

Does anyone know which Zoflora scent is the prettiest?

Now, with Tinder, which way is good swiping?

If i work really hard on myself i could get married again! How I've missed having a man's opinion round here.

Oooh Pauline's back, she's brought me some make up and heated rollers!

She's lovely, we're going to do Tupperware parties together.

I could grow a moustache Thigh. I just need to stop plucking. Come back to us....
HUUAA HUUAAA HUAAAA

That was man flu, not the Haka

Where's Project i do hope she's concentrating on her career. She's a manager, and managers need respect. Women need to focus and be driven.

Getting thank you for the offer but it's not very feminine of you to advertise your facial hair misfortune. I'm not a thesbian and suggest you find yourself a husband pronto before you turn into one!

Thigh please look inside yourself. Go back to the moment we first met. You sang "Born Free" to me. It became our song Thighland's anthem

Tell me - is it keenwa or kwinoah - Pauline and i are making some quinoa to go with our kale, washed down with some perrier with a splash of lime.

Getting is that the real you, come closer let me touch your enormous arse. I, i hear a faint chanting, the roar of a lion.

There's a beautiful song......

It's 'Chips' thigh, 'Chips'. Come back Thighside immediately. Tell that Pauline she's a dead woman walking. She sleeps with the fishes tonight. After finding a horse's bollock in her fucking camomile tea.

I see a policeman wearing a unicorn 🦄 why? Is it Thighland security forces? Or MN here to kill me?

Born free, as free as the wind blows, as free as the grass groowwwws

She's slipping under!!

Quick!! Who's got the dethribulator?

thigh is that you?

Are you coming back to us?