I can offer you solutions to all your problems

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I am a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and can solve anything, no matter how trivial.

Please enter my advice clinic where you will find kindly Agony Aunt services. My rules and solutions are mostly as follows:

1. Lie Down
2. No Guests
3. No One is Too Fat or Too Thin
4. No One Gets Told Off

thigh but you can use the bread cutter, I can't use the dcs, I'm online don't have time for little...

Oh for the love of Thigh Getting, you always have to be special don't you.

It's not enough that you want so much fanfare and attention for having sex with faded photos of beige cuttlefish. Now you're more specific. You have sex with faded photos of statues of beige cuttlefish.

Where do you meet them? On the bus?

mysterycat I believe thigh is in a killing mood so she will probably kill your dh for you.

cat can you feed him to the pigs? It’s the thin end of the wedge, sulking about petty things when he should be bringing you snacks

Mystery just in time. You have to take delivery of Royal's children.

Danish that's true, it's not a fair exchange since i want the bread cutter to just send you some useless children.

I'll send you pigs instead.

Small i don't have crisps or chocolate.

I've always thought there was a good market for slightly used children can we sell them to raise money for Thighland?

Ahh that explains why you are so murderous tonight thigh still it has come in handy with all the grumpy dhs.

Oh thank you mighty thigh, I'm so happy, much less work, than that darn bread cutter... But no more free open sandwiches.

You're special to me Thigh ❤️

A small offering thigh, sweet dreams.

We can sell the small children to chimney sweeps and the larger ones to farmers as bird scarers.

mystery I would tell your “husband” that this is a desperate cry for help from his son, who really wants to spend some quality time with his father without him constantly checking his phone.

Send them out for fresh air tomorrow. Get an emergency locksmith and change the locks. It will be expensive but it’s an investment.

If you want the child back you can leave a small window open.

Can’t someone just drive all the children to Centre Parcs and leave them there to raise themselves?

I also have DBS but I will defend my gloriously child-free abode from the small invaders. I have boiling oil set up on the balcony just in case.

I also have a dbs. I’m creating an army of children to help with the murdering and body disposal. I think then we can use them as chimney sweeps and bird scarers, as so brilliantly suggested by thislido. It’ll boost our coffers no end, and they are the perfect cover because who suspects ‘adorable’ children?

And yeah, when they have served their purpose, CentreParcs. Or a dark forest with a witch and gingerbread house.

Mystery, Mystery, Mystery. How long have you been following the Great and Glorious Thigh? Your "husband" is still alive?
You MUST spend more time exploring your inner thigh. For that is the path to true enlightenment.

Exactly Getting a lot of "husbands" wandering around still alive. I've let things slide, i see that now.

I blame Dangly.

The clue is in the name DanglyTassels. She's a professional exotic dancer at Spearmint Rhino and I've crayoned a lot of Thighland Yen, but then i stuffed them in Dangly's drawers.

Thank goodness Thislido mentioned boiling oil. I woke up this morning thinking terrible thoughts regarding porridge and fruit. I dreamt of just un soupcon de vitamin C. Now I'm refocused on chips, phew.

Reg after we have finished with the wax childers could you remodel them into something else? Like extra arses to put on our arses?

Could these arses be shiny?

I count three DBS so far amongst our cabal. This intrigues me, it makes my Thigh wobble in anticipation. We could infiltrate so many secure facilities with these mysterious pieces of paper. We could drive buses and just take passengers on a mystery tour, they'd be so happy.

Morning. My current problem is this - second child (the noisy one) woke me up at 7.15. I am back in bed with a coffee as I'm wide awake, but I really had wanted to sleep until 8.30. Should I try and force myself back to sleep or just accept I'm awake for the day?